[JK191]

thanks. i understand what u are talking abt. its one of the thoughts i have in mind. but i just find it incredibly hard to come to terms with. and im still incredibly upset and disappointed, betrayed. whatever u call it. its upsetting that so little ppl have the same values that i have in life. and im trully disappointed in that cause girls like me are "waiting it out" til marriage for NOTHING.

A question evelyn1989: He was honest with you, anything he did, he did long ago. How can you feel betrayed?

Also, why do you feel upset about people not sharing your values?

Anyway, as far as my opinion goes. If it does disgust you, I'd really suggest you do end it but he does seem like a good guy even in your standards.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, I find it hard to believe there will be 29 year old males who have not had full sex. Sorry, I realize you are from a different culture than I am, but at least to me, what he did before he meet you, is just that the past.

[talaniman]

I think its kind of snooty of you to ask a question, and be mad about the answer. You can waste your time judging this fellow, or get to know more about him, but be aware, maybe he is judging your attitude too. That would be fair, since you have to consider how smitten you were with him before. (posts were merged, by the way) If what he did was so bad, end whatever your doing, and be honest.

Get over yourself, Miss Perfect, and let it go, and just see it as the differences in your pasts, or take it as a warning that this workplace relationship may not end up in marriage, so why handicap yourself from having fun getting to know what appears to be a fine, honest, young gentleman?

He was honest, so should you be.

[evelyn1989]

@JK191: thanks for your answer :) anyway, betrayal or whatever feelings I have when he told me about it were just instinctive, knee-jerk reactions to whatever he was telling me. They were merely my feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel this way or that about sth, cause its just a feeling.

and its impt to me that two people who want a LTR shld have similar values when it comes to impt life issues like this. Cause I personally think it would make an impact in the relationship in future when more serious things like marriage and all come into play.

@ chuck: thanks :)

[evelyn1989]

I think its kind of snooty of you to ask a question, and be mad about the answer. You can waste your time judging this fellow, or get to know more about him, but be aware, maybe he is judging your attitude too. That would be fair, since you have to consider how smitten you were with him before. (posts were merged, by the way) If what he did was so bad, end whatever your doing, and be honest.

Get over yourself, Miss Perfect, and let it go, and just see it as the differences in your pasts, or take it as a warning that this workplace relationship may not end up in marriage, so why handicap yourself from having fun getting to know what appears to be a fine, honest, young gentleman?

He was honest, so should you be.

Well snooty or not, you are judging me way too quick. Like I said, its an instinctive, knee-jerk reaction to watever I was being told. Feelings are neither right or wrong, they are just feelings. I didn't ask a question expecting an answer which would make me happy, cause of course I wouldn't know what the answer would be before asking. If I did, I wouldn't have botehred asking, would I?

Yup he's probably judging me probably not. So what? Let him. This is how I am. I am being real and not hiding the flaws in my character (cause I know this is a flaw), I'm being honest to him about how I feel. And fyi, I wasn't smitten with him at that time but with the fact that I had his attention. I know its not right, but there's nothing wrong nor right about situations or feelings like these. It was only after I got to know him then I knew that he was the one I was waiting for.

And just to clarify things, we are already official. And I'm not in the office anymore. That was an internship and I'm back in school. Well, I intend to be really honest with him later when he meets me to explain things. We just have that kind of relationship. If either party gets hurt with the honesty.. well, its just a risk we have to take in the relationship.

Anyway I've said too much I tink. And thanks for your answer. Gday.