[jmjoseph]

i did not have sex, because we didnt have intercourse, ....

so i guess i will believe that i am a virgin, :)

OK, whatever works for you. You asked and we told you what we thought. If you choose believe that you did not have sex, or that you are still a virgin, then by all means do that.

If you really want to know what's what, ask your doctor. Explain to her/him what happened.

I wish you luck.

[Alty]

I'm still having a problem with this;

I felt a sharp pain. Idont know and I just fell back on the bed. Crying loud. And when I put finger there there were two drops of blood.2 3 drops.

Not all women feel pain or bleed when they lose their virginity, but I've never heard of a woman that felt pain or bled just because the tip of his penis touched her vagina.

The pain was enough for you to cry. You called it a sharp pain. If you're still a virgin, what caused this pain and what caused the blood?

Personally I think you're kidding yourself. You want to hear that you didn't go too far, but you were both naked, fondling, and I believe things just went further then you wanted them to. It happens.

If you want to consider yourself a virgin, true or not, then that's up to you. If he's going to be the man you marry then you both know the truth anyway, so I don't see why it matters.

[Aurora_Bell]

I am not trying to argue with you it all, it seems like it is something very dear and important to you. I honestly feel bad for you. Some people say that virginity is more than just intercourse. I on the other hand to not think that. You said it yourself, you felt PAIN and saw BLOOD. Were you menstruating? If not you definitely should talk to your doctor, as sharp pains and bleeding for no apparent reason, is cause for concern.

[natalie048]

it is a very difficult thing to be so physically involved in an all out sexual way, and suddenly stop, and decide never to do it again.

I wouldn't be so worried about splitting hairs over whether or not you are a virgin, although i agree with jenni, that if you have sex, and the penis goes into the vagina, you are no longer a virgin. But, as it's up to interpretation, think what you will.

It sounds to me, that the hymen was broken, and not because you rode a horse. It was broken right after you had sex, and because you were not toally aware of what body part was doing what, it is entirely possible that his penis was, even momentarily in long enough to break it. Who knows.

What concerns me more is that you take precautions. Mistakes happen, and so do babies. That you have gone this far, particularly with a man you plan to marry, has also crossed your cultural boundaries, and there is a more likely than not chance that you will find yourself in this position again.

Ask your boyfriend to get to a pharmacy and buy some protection. You may never use it until your wedding night, but lightening does strike twice, and far better to be prepared, than risk pregnancy. At least you have some protection, and will have peace of mind afterwards.

I agree totally! :)

[confused678]

I am sorry for using chat language, :)
Well all of you are confusing me,
I was crying because I didn't expect him to touch it there, and it touched accidentally, well maybe he broke in or whatever, I think it was a mistake and virgin or not, the point is I didn't have sex, and yes for me sex, is that sex when you put it in, and you know, so I am not kidding myself or anything, I know we went too far, but I was kind of OK with kissing and all, the only thing I wasn't OK with was, sex, which I didn't have, and whatever happened, was just an accident, and it was been a week or so since this so I am kind of OK with it, and now that we don't meet each other at private places it is easier for us to restrain from getting into again. And hopefully by the time I get married. Sex will be for the first time. And I think this is a good step too :)
And yes he is the guy I am getting married to, so in the end it is OK :)
Am just glad am over the whole crazy times. :)

[CravenMorhead]

Blow jobs, heavy petting, mutual masterbating shouldn't be consider 'sex-lite' or 'I can't believe it isn't sex!' or 'Consolation prizes 'cause we can't have intercourse.'. These are all sexual acts, and should be considered sex. These should all be considered on the same level as intercourse.

Your hymen may or many not be intact, but you're no virgin. Your BF can deflower you on your wedding night, but you aren't a virgin.

These are my thoughts and opinions only. If you go by some definitions, I am still a virgin because I have never been penetrated by a penis.

What you portray yourself as is your business really. You could legitimately say you're a virgin. It is up to you to decide what virginity is, and if you fall in that category because goodness knows we have given you plenty of definitions.

[Synnen]

confused678 disagrees : It is still not sex,in my opinion because he doesn't put it in,I would call it exploring someone's body just from the outside, basically fooling around, although if he is with someone else I will probably kill him, so it wouldn't matter to me if it was

You gave me a disagree on an opinion. This is against site rules. Please read the rules that you agreed to when you signed up.

So... you disagreed with me for saying that you've had sex but not intercourse--but you wouldn't be okay with your boyfriend having "not-sex" with someone else?

Hypocrite much?

[Cat1864]

I am only going to add one more thing (something that I have told my children) and then probably ask that this thread be closed because you have your answer.

If you learn nothing else in life, learn that lying to (deluding) yourself is one of the worst things you can do. If you can't tell tell yourself the truth and work through your internal issues, you will have a very hard time working with someone else. It comes down to trusting yourself and others. Trusting yourself is the foundation for trusting others.

Good luck and may you and your intended have many happy years together.

[confused678]

Like, I said already , I have accepted whatever happened, so actually then I am not lying to myself :)
I know all what you guys saying, But I have my opinions too, and I stick to them, for me this wasn't the sex I have always heard about yes, I know other stuff, is also considered sex, well I didn't really have any issues regarding having a physical relation with my guy, so its OK :)
And I am sorry I disagreed, but there were two options, I thought I could take any :)
By any means I don't mean to offend you are anything. And yes.
I have got my answers :)
Thanks to everyone.
Bye!
Takecare all of you.

[smoothy]

You gave me a disagree on an opinion. This is against site rules. Please read the rules that you agreed to when you signed up.

So...you disagreed with me for saying that you've had sex but not intercourse--but you wouldn't be okay with your boyfriend having "not-sex" with someone else?

Hypocrite much?

Very good point... if its "not sex" then their partner should be able to have "not sex" with whomever he wishes.

Just like Bill Clinton and his followers arguing "he didn't have sex with that woman".

Yeah... I'll bet they really believe THAT when it's their significant other.. thats "not having sex" with someone else.


Personally... if you are adult enough to have sex... then you should be mature enough to deal with the reality of it as well. Lying about it doesn't change reality... you did it... face up to it and move on. You can't undo it. With that said... if he can't deal with the fact you are not a virgin on your wedding night (particularly when HE participated as well)... perhaps he isn't the best person to be considering life with.

[Maddz311]

I find it interesting with the different views. I have mixed feelings. From my religious stand point- You've crossed the line already... the chastity line. It doesn't mean you should do it again but it's happened. I wouldn't say you are necessarily a "virgin" whether he went in you or not. Although it is kind of tough because yes, it's true that he didn't enter but you had sex like a PP said. Just not intercourse.