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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    May 30, 2010, 06:41 AM

    He said that I am too preoccupied with what my best friend feels,
    I fully agree with him. You have constantly made him feel rejected and the cause of your sadness, all because you care about what a friend thinks more than you care about yourself, or him. That's guilt making you get so carried away, you have forgotten what important.

    You can't have it both ways either he is the priority, or your friend is.

    Choose wisely.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #22

    May 30, 2010, 09:11 AM
    Abigail, are you tired of the guilt trip your 'friend' sent you on, yet? Don't allow him to send you on one either. What do you want?

    One month is not long for any relationship. Look back over it and decide if the relationship minus your friend's drama is really something you want to keep. Would you stay with him without the 'us against the world' aspect that crept into it? Know your own mind and feelings.

    Respect yourself no matter what happens from this point forward.

    Good luck.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #23

    May 30, 2010, 11:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    abigail, are you tired of the guilt trip your 'friend' sent you on, yet? Don't allow him to send you on one either. What do you want?

    One month is not long for any relationship. Look back over it and decide if the relationship minus your friend's drama is really something you want to keep. Would you stay with him without the 'us against the world' aspect that crept into it? Know your own mind and feelings.

    Respect yourself no matter what happens from this point forward.

    Good luck.



    I agree with Cat... rethink and examine the situation... Kit
    philly66's Avatar
    philly66 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #24

    Sep 9, 2010, 05:17 AM
    Hi there,

    I hope I'm not too late on this one..
    Im in a similar situation.. My dear best friend who I loved so much and idolised used to casually date a guy. They never had a full blown relationship.. maybe a drunken kiss once or twice a month for a year.. Neither of them ever pursued it and she met someone else.. a year and a half passed.

    I got friendly with him so innocently and she moved in with her boyfriend..

    He asked me out.. I was excited but scared.. I asked her how she would feel about it.. she said that she was very hurt and that it would be only impossible for us all to remain friends and that it is wrond foor a friend to consider and ex.. I told her that I wouldn't meet him.. Days passed and she continued to live with her boyfriend. I asked her if she had any feelings for my guy and she answered that she loves her boyfriend..

    I felt so sad and wondered if I would regret forever if I let a chance pass me by.
    I met him and fell in love.. I asked for her support and friendship and she refused it saying I had made my choice.. I was devesated.. mainly because I felt I had hurt someone I loved.. I've been in so much therapy over this wiith my lovely couseller explaining every week that I did nothing wrong but stand up for my own happiness for once in a while.. im so in love but still attempting to shake off guilt!v I no I'm a nice person.. I hope you all agree..

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