[Ithappenstoall]

Yes indeed, the hardest is however when you know when you might see them and you end up not coming or having to postpone because of work or something you cannot control... that is the worst it hurts and is painful...

[amicon]

Yes I understand and you have my sympathy-try to set a new goal-a future time when you will be able to make it to meet up-something to look forward to.
Where are you? And where is she?

[Ithappenstoall]

Middle east and she is USA... so it not the closest destination... you can see the build up and the pain that comes if it does not work.

[amicon]

Yes- try to expect it to work-your relationship was solid before you went away-there s no indication its going to go downhill, so stay optimistic.

[Ithappenstoall]

Yes this is what I do... but what hurts is when I tell her that I cannot come and she becomes irrational on the phone. I understand she wants to see me and I do as well. But can't help those things sometimes, and I get worried that one day she will be weak and won't take it anymore

[amicon]

I think that s her own insecurities and great disappointment speaking-so long as you manage to sort this out through calm honest discussion you should be all right.

[Ithappenstoall]

Update : GF yesterday was very sad, says she is tired of this situation. She says that the fact that I was suppose to come twice and never could has hurt her. She is starting to become irrational.

All she says now is all you do is talk and you don't do anything
I tried to make her understand that work is work and class is something else .
Do not know how to handle this

[amicon]

I think she feels rejected,and only honest mature discussions about how and when you can actually spend time together will get this back on track. Am I right in believing you are both in your twenties? And that you are also of different faiths?
And where do you both intend this relationship to go once you re back in the States?

[Ithappenstoall]

She is feeling rejected but she shouldn't I keep telling her that it is out of my hand which to be honest it is. Yes we are both in our twenties, you are correct. She has never worked before maybe that s why she can't understand . I am seriously out of ideas on how to make her feel better

Regarding faith we have disccussed this matter and are willing to both compromise. Finally regarding the third point we are looking to get married... but she wants to rush everything

She tells me that we cannot waste time during this year and half... I don't get that , I am not wasting time and neither are you we are both buildgin our foundation for a better futur, you with school and me with work

But all she says now is you keep talking and not doing anything... maybe because she is still sad she will not think rationally, I might have to wait for her to fell better to have this talk, I am really confused and scared to be frank

[amicon]

Might be a good idea to let things cool down for a couple of days -Im not saying nc but if you re going round in circles any further discussion about these matters may be pointless until some of the dust settles.

[Ithappenstoall]

I see, I am just scared, don't know what to take from this, this would not have happened if I were with her , it is the distance that is causing this it is killing me

[amicon]

Have you got friends where you are that you can talk to? It's a tough call and I wish there were magic wands but there aren't any I'm afraid.

[Ithappenstoall]

I know a couple people here but that's about it. Am I being to selfish or she is not being fair and understanding ?

[amicon]

I don't think you re being selfish,its work keeping you where you are,but I can understand her feeling disappointed in your not being able to visit,which is why I said previously is it at all possible to make a new plan for a visit and set it in stone this time?

[Ithappenstoall]

Yes that would be the ideal situation, but I don't know when it can be done... that is the main issue

[amicon]

Could you talk to your employers and explain something about the situation to them?

[Ithappenstoall]

Work with the family so it is even worst... you would think that that would have helped things but it makes them worst... its like I am trying to reach the surface to breath but can't get there, as soon I get close something else pulls me back down . It is starting to get to me

[amicon]

So your family won't give you leave-or rather keep promising you time off then pull back? That's odd.
I understand you re feeling stressed out but is this ref to what I just wrote about your bosses a job you have to be in?

[Ithappenstoall]

Yes, what happened is the first time there were a few days holiday and we had requested time off but that didn't work. The second time we had a few days again and some meetings came up and we could not go. Now I want to give her dates but I don't want to just say something and not accomplish, that would be too much.

I am feeling this way because where I stand I was told I might be going to possibly see her but I never know now and until I can confirm which will be a week or a few days before I actually travel, I have nothing.

To makes things a bit better I tried sending her a gift today which she should be expecting showing her that I care and want to be with her...

[amicon]

That's a good idea I hope she likes it.
Take care and try to have a nice day.