[notsogreat]

Maybe she will catch wind of you looking at her Facebook and block you. My ex's new fiancée made my ex block me, and now I can't see anything anymore about him. I blocked his new girl cause she was contacting me, and she cannot unblock me at all.

[BWK10]

Perhaps, it's still hard. I am tempted to look at it all the time to see what's going on. She lives in a small town, word gets around... everyone knows everyone. I like to know what's going on, for whatever reason. I understand there are more girls in the world, and one out there who is meant for me. It seems like she was that girl, after being single for so long (5+ years) I thought I finally waited my time to find someone special. Like, she was sent to me, all my heart ache for waiting for that special someone.

I miss her, love her still... I don't think I ever won't.

[vanheart]

Like you said.

This is your first true love. Love, yes (For you). True, No.

Forget about this one. But learn from it.

There's more out there. Maybe its getting out. Meeting people, not just prospects. You never know...

[Young_Cardinal]

I'm not going to lie BWK, I think your ex girlfriend has some issues...
She obviously doesn't respect the relationship you had and doesn't respect YOU!
She already has a child at this age? Not saying that a girl is bad at having a child at that age but man, she moved on so fast after her and her family said you were perfect?
Give me a break! Give yourself time to heal, the Facebook thing will eventually stop one day
What I do is just picture she's doing some dude all the time, I know it sounds insane but it helps with the pain, for me anyway lol

[BWK10]

Lol. Well, ironically last night at work she texted me. The first time in a month, first time she contacted me. It was quite weird, "Hey"... she just asked What was up... thats it, I said not much, asked how she and her son were. She said good, and she was moving today. I said hope you have fun, and that was the end of the conversation. It was like giving me false hope. So, a few hours later I decided I needed to make sure she didn't need anything.

I texted her "Was there something you wanted to talk about?", just never got a response.

[amicon]

The beauty of sticking with no contact and not replying to any crumbs thrown at you is that you avoid this confusion and the rekindling of false hope.

Don't reply,should it happen again.

[neverme]

Absolutely stay no contact. These 'crumbs' as amicon put it are in all honesty beneath you.

You are a good guy and unfortunately sometimes we all finish last. Life can be a b!tch for everyone at some time or another and sometimes it's just nice to remember what comes around goes around.

This girl is willing to jump from relationship to relationship and in doing that you only get hurt it just a matter of time before she starts to open her eyes and see the great guy she let go for some small trivial reason. BUT you will not know when this happens because you are going to stay NC. ;)

You are not helping yourself. Take solace in the fact that you have acted as an honourable gentleman should in all aspects of this relationship and move on. There is no more here for you, you are only hurting yourself.

By the by, facebook/myspace etc are the bane of the existence of the heartbroken, don't let yourself be another casualty in the war against NC. :)

[BWK10]

Thanks for all the advice. Things are going pretty good. I have had urges to check her face book lately, I'm just under 24 hours of not checking it. A small accomplishment at the very least. It still upsetting, I had to cancel a date today with a girl... I made the mistake of potentially dating when I'm not fully over my ex girlfriend. It would be so unfair to her, if my head and heart was still with someone else and not give her the actual me.

Things are getting better, tomorrow was the day I was suppose to move in with her. I imagine tomorrow will be a hard day as well.

[amicon]

Make sure you keep busy tomorrow and make plans for your own future.

You will get past this.

[BWK10]

Threads merged

Well, I have had this idea running through my head for quite sometime now. If you read my previous posts about my breakup, that happened exactly a month ago today. So, I have had this idea in my head for quite awhile and would like peoples honest opinions on it.

When we broke up, I wanted one last chance to talk to her... about what went wrong, stuff like that, honestly more for closure. I wasn't trying to get her back at all... I just wanted to talk. Now, I know, stupid idea. However, ever since I have had an urge to write her a letter, and put it in her mailbox. I fully intend to do this, not right away... in a few months when I am finally over her, and my situation. Included, I want to give her back this bracelet thing she gave me for Christmas.

It was an item I held near and dear to my heart, displayed my name on the top and underneath "Love (insert name)". I don't wear it anymore, or even look at it... its put in a certain place I can't see it regularly. I have thought about doing this for a few weeks, and honestly believe it would help giving me closure on the situation. I don't intend to plead to have her back, or upset her, etc... just tell her what I was feeling at the time that I never had the chance to say to her.

In a few months I want to drive out, put a letter and the item in a envelope and leave it as that. What do you guys think?

[talaniman]

I think that's a lousy idea to return a gift for one, and a letter that can only stir up dust that is settling, is another very lousy idea. If you want closure, accept that this thing is over, burn the letter, and pack the bracelet away.

That's a much better idea at this time. Why would you screw up a months worth of healing, just to get her attention, so you can talk? Makes no sense.

[BWK10]

I don't know what it is, to make a long story short... if you read about my breakup a few months ago. Well, I found a new lady and my old habits come back. I'm always worried something is wrong, and she's going to dump me. For no reason whatsoever, how can I change this habit?

[Wondergirl]

Did an adult you loved or respected dump you or abandon or majorly disappoint you when you were a child?

[Wondergirl]

BWK10 agrees : you... my father.

Will you tell me about it? What happened? How old were you?

[BWK10]

Parents got divorced when I was 13... thats about it

[Wondergirl]

Parents got divorced when I was 13...thats about it

Um, I don't think so.

How did you feel when that happened? You mentioned feeling dumped or abandoned? Why, if "that's about it."

[BWK10]

Well, my dad and I were very close. I haven't had a relationship with him since, I did feel abandoned and I can see how that contributes to this. I just feel like she's just going to do the same thing

[Wondergirl]

Well, my dad and I were very close. I havent had a relationship with him since, i did feel abandoned and I can see how that contributes to this. I just feel like shes just going to do the same thing

Commitment is a risk, isn't it. You can't be sure you can trust the other person to feel like you do.

[BWK10]

What should I do about this though

[Wondergirl]

First, you need to talk about it with someone who doesn't know you and who is unbiased. Would you meet with a counselor for a few sessions?