[Adapa]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I wish I could go back to my own-self... I wish I could function without being with someone... I wish I could be happy being alone... That is what I will try and do. My goal is to be 100% happy being alone in this world. That is what I will try and accomplish. This is something I have to-do for myself. This is what I have to-do for my life. Mark my words, this is not the end... I will be alone and be happy. Would it not be amazing to just wake up and be alone and be happy, this is something I will try and do, try and accomplish in my life.

[amicon]

It's a great goal and you'll get there sooner than you think.

Being happy on your own is about building a relationship with yourself and finding out who you are and what you want in life.

[Adapa]

If its meant to be its meant to be. But chances are when she finally "understand that we are soul-mates" and if she ever comes back... She would have already hooked-up with someone or kissed someone, or had sex with someone, so there is no really going back.

[amicon]

Nobody knows what the future holds-with this person you have the experience of her past actions,and now you are free to create your own present and your own future.

You're in charge-good luck.

[Adapa]

I have been dealing with my emotions pretty good now. It just hit me that I have not even thought about my ex for 2-3 days straight, and if I did it was only for a split second with no pain. That got me thinking... if the last 2-3 days were easy... I wonder how another 2-3 months could make me feel.. Although, I am thinking now about it again. Right now I am mostly thinking about how she might be with another man, doing the dirty, or cuddling up next to someone. I hope she is, as people who tend to go from relationship to relationship quickly end up getting ted on. Hmm... Even if this new guy was a close friend, or she was planing it for a while, it would never work because she was planing it while she was with me... So therefore that means that she used him as an escape goat to ease the pain from her situation. She will only realize how big of a mistake that is once he cheats on her, abuses her, or he leaves her for another woman, or she leaves him/cheats on him/etc and then he ends up leaving her... that the emotions of me will come straight running to her heart. I believe that if we don't deal with the emotions of a break up like real normal human beings then the pain will ALWAYS be there until we deal with it. To deal with the pain to make it completely go away you have to understand that going out with someone right away and/or having sex/kissing someone else/cuddling someone else is NOT the way because you are just masking the problem... because when its gone, or its not there when you need it... it will always be there to haunt you. Right. Right.

[amicon]

Instead of thinking about what she might be doing,and with whom,keep thinking about how so much better you will be feeling tomorrow,next week and next month.

[Adapa]

Yeah I guess you are right. I mean she didn't even want kids or anything, so its not it would have worked out. I hate the feeling of what ifs and about holding on to someone that doesn't hold onto you. Hmmm, if this is how it has to be then it has to be this way. Even though its very hard for me to imagine giving up on love it is amazing that people in love can do this. I don't know what love is anymore and I really do want to be in love again someday.

[amicon]

Bin all the 'ifs and whys',overanalyzing the past is not going to make you feel any better.

When those thoughts pop up,get busy-and change your way of thinking.

Don't worry about future loves now-when you're ready,it will happen again.

[talaniman]

When you have gotten rid of the baggage of the past, then you will be ready for the future. That's what healing is about.

[Adapa]

Thanks guys. Healing is hard... But I know that is what we have to-do in life. I know that EVERYONE goes through this. Why did I think I was not going to go through this. I knew that when she was going to turn 21 that it would be over. She's young and beautiful and prob has guys all over her all the time. Why would she want me... I am just one guy who is going to school full time and has no time for her. I was just hoping... praying to God that she would understand what we could do when I was done school... The sky would have been the limits. Could have had a nice house, nice things, and nice benefits... I guess young girls don't think about the future... I hate that all I do is plan for the future... damn me.

[talaniman]

Do your thing and you will succeed, and someone who can keep up with you will appear because you both will be going in the same direction.

Talaniman Rule-Never define yourself by an exes viewpoint.

Thats why you never beat your own self up after a break up. Her rejection will fade over time, and with your own successes, and accomplishments

[Adapa]

I know what you mean... But this girl has really ed my head up... I mean she came after me, she WANTED to be with me, and now she does not want me anymore. I have never been treated like this before... I know this will make me a stronger person in the end but right now it just made me so upset. I feel like she is getting the last laugh and I lost. All I can do is pick up what's left of my dignity and move on. But its so hard... When I love someone I love someone with all of my heart... I will never do that again. Besides I am to young to be like this. But it just makes my life harder because I have to do good in school and focusing on my schooling has been really hard. I wish I could just take a year off and gather myself but I know that I would regret that because when I take that time off I would have already been done school and I would have already been over it by then most likely.

[talaniman]

I can understand it, but the life lesson to learn is how to cope with your feelings, and situations that life throws at you. You think your upset now, just wait for when life does get tough.

You will learn as you grow. For now though just leave her alone, and do your thing.

I can tell you that the more you reflect on her, the more you get distracted away from what you should be doing.

[Adapa]

The hardest part is her family. They wanted us to get married. They treated me like their son in law. Her father always said I was their son in law. I WORKED with her father when I was out of work. How can you let that go. I was never so close to someone and their family before... It was my other family. I talked to all her family, they knew me, they talked to me, they kissed me goodbye and greeted me all the time with hugs and kisses... I just don't understand. They wanted us to get married. But they prob just wanted that because they knew that I was a good man. That I was going to gibe their daughter a good life. Thts prob it. Have you ever had that before?

[talaniman]

LOL, I have know the family of exes that I got along with better than the ex. To bad you can't get rid of the exes, and keep the family. You never know though, after you have healed they may interact in your life in the future. For now get over the ex, and keeping in touch with her family won't help that. Its one of those things you will miss about this relationship.

[Adapa]

I mean, I have done NC before with other girlfriends but it just sucks. We will see where life takes me I suppose.

[Adapa]

Still going strong guys!!


19 more days until 2 month mark! WHOA! I feel much better then I did a month ago. I just got done my one nursing class, one more semester until summer break!!

[Adapa]

Feeling sad... Feeling weak... I am still alive guys... if anyone cares that I am still breathing. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. My love is like a fountain of water that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Never ending. I just don't understand anything in life anymore. I see my days go by slowly... they all merge together. It just really hurts, my heart and my body aches. I don't cry anymore but the pain is as real as anything... But I guess its better to feel something than to not feel anything at all...

[AmericanGirl01]

Feeling sad... Feeling weak... I am still alive guys... if anyone cares that I am still breathing. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. My love is like a fountain of water that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Never ending. I just don't understand anything in life anymore. I see my days go by slowly... they all merge together. It just really hurts, my heart and my body aches. I don't cry anymore but the pain is as real as anything... But I guess its better to feel something than to not feel anything at all...

Trust me, some days you'll feel completely fine then other days you'll feel like crap. But one thing that is certain is that is does get easier. If humans never healed from breakups could you imagine how many of us would be miserable all the time? Hang in there, be strong.

[Adapa]

Trust me, some days you'll feel completely fine then other days you'll feel like crap. But one thing that is certain is that is does get easier. If humans never healed from breakups could you imagine how many of us would be miserable all the time? Hang in there, be strong.

Some days I feel like I am super-man... I lost 55 lbs in a little under 2 months. I was 225 lbs... now I am 170 lbs. I look really different... I just can't eat anything much. I feel like I am morphing into a new person. I look like I did before I met my EX. If humans never healed from a break-up then everyone would be in a ty mode, you are right. I feel right now that I can NEVER trust another woman. I keep telling myself that this will NEVER happen again. I will not love someone EVER again. I don't want to go through this pain again, ever again...