[Ilovetogofast]

It seems your childhood friend fell into a sad situation and she probably doesn't know how to get out of it..This is NO MORE about saving your relationship but saving a person...She is obviously not herself.. from convinced that you were going to marry her and this sad situation she is currently in, there is a gap... I guess she tried to fill the emptiness when you two were apart with the wrong crowd as mentionned in other posts and this is the result.

It seems you have done it all, background checks, going through her calls history etc. but the right thing which is to let the door open so that she has someone, A FRIEND, she can talk to freely withouth being judged on her behavior -- if it is too painful for you to have her talk to you on the phone or meeting her, let her e-mail you.Her family or yourself could then hopefully slowly pull back and take her to rehab or see a psychologist...

That's howwhen one recognizes true friendship...in troubled times... Be a friend to a woman before thinking of being her lover.

Is your love for her up to it? Are you ready to listen to her heartaches or yours first?

I have to say i was taken aback by some of your comments which i assume stem from the difficult situation you're going through... lil' cute white girl in a gettho going to get rapped, hurt... lousy mexican boyfriend who may not have a high school education working at a restaurant for $ 8 an hour..... there is no such a stupid job ( you actually do eat restaurant food, don't you?)..... and do not let your pain express itself through racism and take over your own sanity.... you may need some spare one to become a true friend and save your girl

I am entirely open to being her friend if she needs me, and I've told her this before. I've told her that if she needs ANYTHING, or has any trouble that she call always call me and I'll help her any way I can. Am I pissed off about how things happened, yes... but I won't let her get hurt. We were friends first, and friends for a very long time. I love her family, and I still care very much for her, so I will always be open to help her.

As far as making racist comments, I fail to see exacly how my comment was racist? They're all facts... he's is mexican (which I have no problem with, I'm adopted and many have said that I have somewhat of a latin look and skin tone, but predominately what you would call caucasian), never even completed a high school education, pretty much has a lousy job for someone his age with not much in sight of a bright future that could support her and a family (which from what she told me is what she wants not too terribly far down the road), and they live in a complete dump that is very unsafe... ya know the place you hear about on the news... yea... thats the place. Nothing about that is racist. Just fact.

[valinors_sorrow]

I think the worst kind of betrayal is when someone we thought we knew turns out to be someone completely different than who we knew. It makes a person crazy for a while... was it really like that? Did I just not see them clearly? Is everyone not who they seem?

It's a really incidious form of lying and the trust it destroys is worth acknowledging. As much as you don't want to hear this Fast, if you do help her, help her with caution. She has effectively snowed you once, and without much to point to that says you've learned, she could easily do it again. You are no Forrest Gump to her Jenny, so forgive her but self protect too, okay? Love comes with a responsibility to live in the truth, not enable others in destructive ways and to love ourselves too.