[Jake2008]

I think you're thinking in the right direction, in putting an end to this 'relationship'.

After five months of not being together, you hop in the sack, and then ask him about other people.

Maybe talking first would have changed your mind.

While he was honest with you after you asked him, he could have also ended the relationship long before now. Instead he led you on with "it could go either way", when it had already gone the way he wanted it.

At the very least he's not interesting in a 1:1 relationship, or capable, or willing. His call, and it's pretty obvious.

I hope that you get tested for STD's, and be far more careful and in control the next time.

[Cat1864]

been having an intimate relationship with this guy who initially the first month was aggressive with taking me out on dates, then it faded out to text messaging and having intimacy monthly, been 5 months we've been seeing each other. just this week i asked where the relationship was going. response was could go either way. but still wanted intimacy. got together, he wanted me to sleep over, discussion arose about involvement with other people - he admitted he was having sex with 2 other people. but that he didn't have a "friendship" with them. he and i discussed unprotected sex and that no discussion had ever arose about sex with other people. i was really upset. he messaged and asked how i was doing. i told him i was pissed off and hurt. he said that he didn't mean to hurt me,that he likes me, and enjoys my company and that we should probably stop being intimate before he loses me as a friend and asked if he can call me. thoughts/comments....

Is this the same person from December?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ng-427684.html

been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. initially we were going out on dates-dinner, theatre, movies. led to hanging out at his place, watching movies, chatting, hanging out. talking/texting pretty regular, at least every 2-3 days. told me about 1 1/2 months after we started dating, that he pulled himself off the dating sites. went out for lunch and he kissed me in the parking lot. about 3 weeks ago, he wanted to know what i was doing, told me i took to long to respond, and was heading home - i told him i guess he'd have to go home with the friend he had been out with, since then things have pulled back. didn't see each other for 3 weeks, with intermittent conversation once a week. i think i wasn't ready for a commitment and said things that maybe made him think i wasn't looking for anything serious, other than an intimate physical relationship. now i am wondering how do i go backwards. when we were together last, he and i talked for awhile, i felt a real connection, we kissed, made out and stuff, then afterwards, we were talking, he and i got kinda personal with him telling me that he was trying to pick up this girl at his work only to find out that she had a boyfriend, asking me why i was trying to set him with another girl (i told him i was with someone at that time - and this was before he and i got together). i am confused. is he just not that into me. how do i rebuild this. when we r together things are good. awwesome actually. i think we need to define the relationship.

I am wondering what the real story is.

If the facts are somewhere between these two versions, then mixed messages from both of you are a huge part of the problem.

I think you need to step back and determine what you truly want in a relationship and whether you actually want one.

[jfo]

Yes I am the same person from December, I'm actually glad you noticed...
I wonder what the real story is too. I just got out of a long term relationship with a guy of 10 yrs, this guy friend with benefits pursued me for months, I gave in and went out with him 2 weeks after my breakup with the 10 yr guy. This friend, offerred so many different things to me and jumped in the sack with him to get over the other one. I'm really upset that this all happened with him. I feel I may have used him. He said to me the other day, so I'm the rebound guy. I told him the other night I didn't want a commitment but I wanted exclusivity, I told him I wasn't dating yet and that I was getting to a point where I would possibly, he acted all surprised that I wasn't dating yet. Then later that night he told me that he was sleeping with other people, that most recent was couple weeks ago, that it has not been the whole time. I have decided I need to stop all contact with him, I took him off fb and IM'ing. Comments/thoughts.. I appreciate what you have said so far, I was really surprised no one saw that before.

[jfo]

Is this the same person from December?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ng-427684.html



I am wondering what the real story is.

If the facts are somewhere between these two versions, then mixed messages from both of you are a huge part of the problem.

I think you need to step back and determine what you truly want in a relationship and whether or not you actually want one.

Check out my reply before. Additional comments welcome.

[I wish]

check out my reply before. additional comments welcome.

Your threads have been merged

The question WASN'T if you were the same person. The question was whether you were talking about the SAME GUY?

If you just got out of a long term relationship, you should be spending time recovering from the break up. 10 years is a long time, so you're still in the rebound phase. You feel like after breaking up, there is a void inside of you, so you're quickly looking to fill that void.

Spend some time doing things for yourself. There's no need to rush into a new relationship.

[jfo]

Your threads have been merged

The question WASN'T if you were the same person. The question was whether you were talking about the SAME GUY?

If you just got out of a long term relationship, you should be spending time recovering from the break up. 10 years is a long time, so you're still in the rebound phase. You feel like after breaking up, there is a void inside of you, so you're quickly looking to fill that void.

Spend some time doing things for yourself. There's no need to rush into a new relationship.

Yes, the posts were about the same guy.