[chirleyrene]

Your right, but with two jobs, I don't have time, when I'm off I lay around, which is bad, but I do try to get out, but it doesn't always work that way.

[talaniman]

thank you there's no better way that you could have put it, thank you, (BUT) I'm afraid if I leave I might not want to come back?

You have to take a chance and cross that bridge when you get to it. Deal with one thing at a time. Are you stressing yourself out again? Don't answer I can see you are.

[chirleyrene]

Good guess? But you can't see that I'm stressing(smile)

You have to take a chance and cross that bridge when you get to it. Deal with one thing at a time. Are you stressing your self out again? Don't answer I can see you are.

Do you know how would I erase all these messages from my file on this site?

[talaniman]

do you know how would I erase all these messages from my file on this site?

WHY would you want to do that? (yes I'm nosey)

[valinors_sorrow]

This is beginning to sound like an unsolvable problem, Chir. I have had a few of those in my time. Its fairly easy to get stuck in the loop of defining and redefining and redefining the problem. In fact, I learned that any delaying mechanism will do. Turns out I had to suffer more until I became willing to actually DO something about solving it. Once it was solved, I was kind of kicking myself for signing up for all the suffering but as they say, it takes what it takes. First thing I did when I found myself in better shape later on was a major overhaul where I traded in my willingness to suffer for something much better. LOL

PS - You can ask any moderator to erase this thread, if you prefer and then delete saved pages off your computer under Tools and then Internet Options. That should erase everytihng well enough.

[chirleyrene]

You have to take a chance and cross that bridge when you get to it. Deal with one thing at a time. Are you stressing your self out again? Don't answer I can see you are.

What's your occupation?

[talaniman]

Just click on my name and you can get my bio, Right now though I'm just a grandfather of many.

[chirleyrene]

Just click on my name and you can get my bio, Right now though I'm just a grandfather of many.

Thanks for the good advice I'll talk to you tomorrow, Michigan time at around say 8am?

[s_cianci]

Rather than stay or leave, you might want to try a little negotiating first. Try sitting your husband down and the two of you working out a household budget. As a married couple you should be willing to pool all sources of income to pay the household expenses. If necessary, try cutting back on a few things. I agree that you should also lay down the law when it comes to his son. He's 19 so he should work and contribute to the household if he's going to live there. If he's unable or unwilling to do that then he goes. Be firm on this. Otherwise, you'll just end up enabling his son and render him incapable of ever supporting himself.

[chirleyrene]

The first thing is get to a place in you mind that you are calm. Then figure out what it is you really want. Next get a plan of action that gives you what you want. Lastly get busy and do it. If you need a break then take it. Counselling may help and as a matter of fact having some one you can talk to is highly recommended. Time for you to do what is needed in your relationships. Obviously your husbannd and you talk at each other and not to each other. Communication is a key to any relationship. Take time for yourself to get yourself under control.

Hey! And please don't say I'm confused, because I'm not, I love my husband and I really want to give it another try, but my mind is saying no and my heart is saying give it another try, I want my marriage to work, when we said I do, I believed in my vows, until death do us part, if I split up with him, I still won't see another man only because I'm married and being with someone else while I'm married that's wrong, but at the same time I'm not suppose to be a fool either, in this marriage, my body is so tired, I work two jobs, I love them both but I can't continue to work both, my hospital job is lovley, I work Mon-fri 5am until 1:30pm no weekends that's a lovely shift, then I work at Costco Warehouse, which also is a good paying job, but it's a lot of work on me and I work there 5pm-til 10pm at night five days a week, you see my body is very tired.

I make 10.34per hr. at the hospital and 10.25 at Costco, the hospital is finally giving me a promotion after 6yrs. And Costco I've been there a yr. and every six months you get a raise from them so now I'm stuck trying to see which one I should let go, I know Costco will benfit me more in the end, but at the same time I still don't want to let the Hospital job go, I need help in deciding, because my body is tired, the money is good, but I'm tired, Help!!

[Geoffersonairplane]

I make 10.34per hr. at the hospital and 10.25 at Costco, the hospital is finally giving me a promotion after 6yrs. and Costco I've been there a yr. and every six months you get a raise from them so now I'm stuck trying to see which one I should let go, I know Costco will benfit me more in the end, but at the same time I still don't wanna let the Hospital job go, I need help in deciding, because my body is tired, the money is good, but I'm tired, Help!!!!!!

Hi,

Sorry I have not contributed to your thread so far but you were getting such good answers!

Regarding the job, I would drop the job that gives you the least satisfcation. I can see that you will benefit in a financial sense by staying at Costco, but eventually I would imagine they would cap your earnings once you reach a maximum tier, would they not?

Job satisfaction is important just as much as money but also you need to consider your health. You work very hard and that is a good thing but you mention that you are tired and I am not surprised by this. One thing is for sure, one of these jobs probably needs to go. Judging on what you have said, I think you may have already made your mind up which one, you just need reassurance to reinforce that decision.

Take Care for now!

[Geoffersonairplane]

your right that I've already made up my mind about which I should quit, but I'm scared! plus I'm use to the money every week, if I quit one I won't have that extra check? what wwould you do if you were in my shoes?

You need to do what is best for you and it seems to me that at this time, the best thing for you is to work in the one job. I have been in your boat before some years ago and I had to make a similar decision. The main problem here is the extra money you are going to lose.

There are 2 options:

1.) Speak to Costco and see if you can in any way get the hours reduced

2.) Drop Costco or whichever one you want to drop and then make changes to the way that you live i.e. budget more carefully, perhaps reduce what you spend, make savings on things that you buy.

It is amazing how much we can save money these days without realising it. Example: if you go out 3 times a week on a night out, cut it down to twice a week.

This is just an example of how to save money and it may not relate to you personally but it is a fine example of how too much disposable income can cause us to be more careless with money because we simply have more of it and forget the value it holds.

What would I do if I was in your shoes? I would choose option 2 without a doubt.. You work too hard and you need to think of your health especially at this time when you have so much on your mind.. This situation is mentally and physically draining for you..

[chirleyrene]

What I'm going to do is drop Costco, but not until the spring time? Right now I don't know what I'm going to do, it's the money that's keeping me from dropping any of the jobs, I'm stuck right now , I'm going to have to thinki on this and see how I can budget my money first! But thank you so much, for your advice

[Geoffersonairplane]

However, in giving you this answer, I do not know your circumstance, and therefore I think it would be good for you to work out all of your expenditure against your income. You should do this before making any definite decision.

I know you will do what is right for you!

[talaniman]

While I understand your issues here, you must keep in mind that any plan that is not followed up by action will never solve your problems. By your own words you are stressed by things at home and to add to the mix the pressure of working two jobs is wearing you out. At this rate do you really think you will last until spring? Maybe you should talk your boses at both jobs to get some time off for you. Money will do you know good if your in a hospital suffering from exhaustion or stress. As you can see for yourself those two jobs may be good money but your home life is a wreck, and your so stressed you don't really know what to do. Until you take positive action to help yourself no one can help you. Please take the steps to positive action.

[chirleyrene]

While I understand your issues here, you must keep in mind that any plan that is not followed up by action will never solve your problems. By your own words you are stressed by things at home and to add to the mix the pressure of working two jobs is wearing you out. At this rate do you really think you will last until spring? Maybe you should talk your boses at both jobs to get some time off for you. Money will do you know good if your in a hospital suffering from exhaustion or stress. As you can see for yourself those two jobs may be good money but your home life is a wreck, and your so stressed you don't really know what to do. Until you take positive action to help yourself no one can help you. Please take the steps to positive action.

You are so right but I do not know how to approach either job, to let them know my situation, and that I need time off.

[K_3]

I have quickly read the posts. I think before you drive yourself crazy trying to make any decisions, you must take a weekend and get a motel room and sleep. You sound so tired and so very tired of working only to give it to others that your mind is going in so many directions you are acomplishing nothing. Just stop, promise you will not think of a thing for 2 days, just sleep. Relax. A bubble bath or 10. Then write out a budget, figure how much you can give your husband. Sit him down and tell him you are exhausted, you are feeling so much anger inside because you work so hard and give so much. You love him and want to work it out. Tell him what you can do, reasonably. Do not cut yourself short. If he has a problem with it, then you need to go to plan B. Leaving. It sounds as though you have so much ambition, you will be able to care for yourself easily. If he has that many children all by different wives. I think you are not the only woman who had an issue with him. Love yourself and give yourself a gift of down time and sleep. When you are rested you will be amazed at how you can once again think straight. You are exhausted, and exhaustion confuses the mind and makes one short tempered. Good luck

[valinors_sorrow]

Breaking points are seldomly pretty and this sure sounds like one for you. Like Tal suggested, you might want to cool off and then sort out the what from the who. I like to do that on paper sometimes....a list of problems in the first column and a list of (realistic & workable) solutions in the other. It sometimes takes me a while to find what my priorities are but in the end, I know what I am willing and not willing to do, ever mindful of how limited I am in influencing others. I find that with some sort of plan, things don't seem as bleak. I hope that helps, if only in offering a slightly different perspective here.

thank you so very much, I will consider this

Consider is one thing, doing it another. I think after seeing this thread grow into all sorts of problems tangled into each other that your list is more needed than ever. It would allow you to form a plan by organizing your thoughts, showing you what YOU are willing to do and you can then number them in the order you wish to begin - like your job situation. Once you begin to solve one, the others get easier.

Without a plan of action (and acting on it), I see you going round and round here with endless yeah but's and distractions, solving nothing except some need for attention.

I need help in deciding, because my body is tired, the money is good, but I'm tired, Help!!!!!!

What I'm gonna do is drop Costco, but not til the spring time

Why complain about your jobs when you already have your mind made up what to do about it? :confused:

You are of course free to take or not take any suggestions made here but if you don't take any, then you get to stay overwhelmed and have an excuse for doing nothing, don't you? I'm afraid the only way out of that vicious circle is action now, Chirl. Not next spring or even Christmas.

[chirleyrene]

I have quickly read the posts. I think before you drive yourself crazy trying to make any decisions, you must take a weekend and get a motel room and sleep. You sound so tired and so very tired of working only to give it to others that your mind is going in so many directions you are acomplishing nothing. Just stop, promise you will not think of a thing for 2 days, just sleep. Relax. A bubble bath or 10. Then write out a budget, figure how much you can give your husband. Sit him down and tell him you are exhausted, you are feeling so much anger inside because you work so hard and give so much. You love him and want to work it out. Tell him what you can do, reasonably. Do not cut yourself short. If he has a problem with it, then you need to go to plan B. Leaving. It sounds as tho you have so much ambition, you will be able to care for yourself easily. If he has that many children all by different wives. I think you are not the only woman who had an issue with him. Love yourself and give yourself a gift of down time and sleep. When you are rested you will be amazed at how you can once again think straight. You are exhausted, and exhaustion confuses the mind and makes one short tempered. Good luck

I'm going to go into my job today and request some time off but it won't be until, after XMAS, because I have too much to do, and I want to start the new yr. off right, I'm praying that God give me strength to see things out, for the better, right now I can't see anything, my mind is running 80 M.P.H and I'm trying to make it stop, but it won't, I thank God I do not have kids, to let them see me go through this

[talaniman]

You are of course free to take or not take any suggestions made here but if you don't take any, then you get to stay overwhelmed and have an excuse for doing nothing, don't you? I'm afraid the only way out of that vicious circle is action now, Chirl. Not next spring or even Christmas.

Under the circumstances I have to agree 100%