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I wish · Nov 29, 2009, 11:12 AM

I understand that it's really difficult to get over someone if you still have feelings for them.

But you have to realize that you've already had 2 years to try to work out a relationship together. You've got several choices:

(1) You can pressure to come back to you. But forcing him to do that will only push him away even more.

(2) You can give him all the time and space you want, but there's no guarantee he will come around. This will only drag out your pain and suffering.

(3) You can learn from the past and move forward with your life. Find someone else that you can happy with.

I vote for (3).

talaniman · Nov 29, 2009, 11:25 AM

So now you face your worst nightmare. Nobody to make you feel wanted, and no one who cares.

Listen to yourself, its all about what YOU want, and NEED to feel good about YOURSELF, that you want someone to give you. Thats where your misery really comes from, you're not happy with yourself, and what you can give yourself.

This is a great time to stop listening to your heart scream for someone else, and listen to your brain tell you to love yourself.

Trust me you will be much happier having a life that you enjoy, without depending on a guy to make you happy.

classychica52 · Nov 29, 2009, 11:44 AM

I understand but if I find someone else to help me get over him, and then it'll be easier to get over the next guy. Like a rebound, I know its unfair, but it'll help me, and then from there I can move forward?

I wish · Nov 29, 2009, 11:46 AM

Why do you have to be in a relationship?

The fact that you feel like you need a rebound to get over your last relationship means that you're an extremely needy person. Not only is that something you need to work on for yourself, but you need to work on this needy aspect for your next relationship.

Learn to be single. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be independant. Learn to have some self-esteem. Learn to have some confidence. Learn to have some self-respect.

You have so many things to learn. Jumping into another relationship isn't going to help you grow as a person.

amicon · Nov 29, 2009, 11:55 AM

You understand? The advice has been to find happiness within yourself and enjoy being on your own without another person in your life.
And then be able to have a relationship with someone.
It sounds as if you don't understand, as you're already asking about finding yet another rebound.
That's,again,all about you,and not about the poor rebound.
People aren't toys,to be dumped when it suits you,and then picked up again when you've changed your mind.

talaniman · Nov 29, 2009, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by classychica52

I understand but if I find someone else to help me get over him, and then it'll be easier to get over the next guy. Like a rebound, I know its unfair, but it'll help me, and then from there I can move foward?

Not only is it unfair, its downright selfish, and cruel. What a desperate way to look at things.

Either do this the right way, or you will pay the consequences of your actions yet again. Didn't you learn from your last rebound?

amicon · Nov 29, 2009, 12:03 PM

Have to spread the rep.
Talaniman is 100 % right.
And why would you want to be unfair?

workingirl29 · Oct 7, 2010, 11:52 AM

I feel like you are telling him you love him because a part of you still wants him to stick around. Watching someone walk away can be really hard, but for the both of you I think its best. As far as the new one, it seems like you are with him to fill the void of the last one. That feeling of having someone. We have all had that before, but for your own sake and theirs, its probably better to walk away from both of them seeing as if you were truly happy with either you would be with just them.