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TigerLilly232 · Sep 2, 2009, 03:21 PM

Lol about the police. I could never do it but that would teach him a lesson, one I'm sure he would never forgive me for... but I got to admit it's a little fun to think about.

Last night wasn't too bad. We got a long fine, and when I went to bed in the spare he called out "I miss you" from the other room, I told him "I miss you too" and then I fell asleep. He said goodbye to me when I left for work this morning.

So we'll see.

TigerLilly232 · Sep 15, 2009, 08:36 PM

Update. Things have taken a different turn in the past couple weeks. Some how, some way, with me on the pill and us having sex about twice a month for about 10 minutes each time and him pulling out each time... I'm pregnant. Was nauseas the past couple weeks and then realized I was late. Took the pregnancy test two days ago and it was positive.

Cat1864 · Sep 16, 2009, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by TigerLilly232

Update. Things have taken a different turn in the past couple weeks. Some how, some way, with me on the pill and us having sex about twice a month for about 10 minutes each time and him pulling out each time....I'm pregnant. Was nauseas the past couple weeks and then realized I was late. Took the pregnancy test two days ago and it was positive.

How is he taking the news? Have you told him?

Good luck. :)

smoothy · Sep 16, 2009, 07:40 AM

Ouch... this is why people who aren't in a great relationship shouldn't be having sex... stuff like this happens all the time (its not 100% effective at best)

Not to mention some medications and most antibiotics will render the Pill ineffective.

sandalwood7 · Sep 21, 2009, 10:03 PM

Tigerlilly,

I really really fee for you and understand your situation. I found your post searching for answers to the same question. I am actually in exactly the same situation as you believe it or not, except that I am not pregnant. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I feel all of the same things that you are feeling too. I am also trying to think things through but I don't have an answer yet... I will let you know if something brilliant comes to me in the night!

Although I have tried everything, talking, leaving the house when he smokes, telling him how I feel... in the bottom of my heart I know that weed is too important to him and that he will probably never change. It is very very sad... I don't know if there is much more that either of us can do. If I try and reverse the situation in my mind as a thought experiment, e.g he told me that something I do really upsets him, I cannot imagine continuing to do it like he continues to do pot. I have cried so many times in front of him about his weed and he still hasn't changed... Whereas I will do just about anything for him because I love him so much (except change my feelings about his weed smoking). So perhaps I am a hippocrite or perhaps he is selfish/addicted, but I am beginning to think it is a deal-breaker.

I don't think that people should do things that hurt another person in a relationship, especially if the other persn only has their best interests and welfare at heart. No matter how hard I try,I cannot change my feelings about his pot smoking. It hits right hard in the guts. My tears are a visceral reaction, because I want to have a life with himand I want to have kids with him, but I don't want weed around my future kids. It is making us grow apart because I don't want to be around him when he is so stoned and unresponsive. Even if I wanted to I can't be around him because the weed he smokes is so strong that I get stoned and I hate it (bad reaction including panic: also I have depression and I think it reacts with my meds). That means we often lead separate lives when it comes to social occasions.

If the truth be said... The only bad things in our relationship seem to stem from weed. I wish he could stop or even cut down and a lot of our troubles would be over. I don't know the answer, but I think we both need to do a lot f thinking, especially about ourselves,our needsand the things we do and should expect from a relationship.It is about them growing up andmoving onto the next phaseof their life... weed free... settling downand haviong kids and taking on some responsibility again. I don't think that we should always be trying and they should continue to do the same ol same ol without trying or caring. The problem is, that weed numbs their brain, so they don't have to care, and they lose all insight into their behaviour. VERY FRUSTRATING...

As I said, I wanted you to know that you are not alone, and the feelings you are feeling seem very appropriate for the circumstances. WEED is a problem if used excessively in a relationship. Sorry about the rant (So much to say!). I would like to say that we both probably deserve better, but it is not that easy to let go. Just ride the ride and continue the journey and things will go in one direction or another. But make sure that you look after yourself and your needs. I hope that your pregnancy issues are OK. That is a really difficult thing, especially if you have relationship problems. I don't know what your situation or feelings are about it, but it is not a reason to stay with him if you are unhappy. I hope you make a decision that is right for you. If you choose to keep the baby then it might be hard, but you will never regret it.

Life is never simple! Keep your chin up! Xxx