[asking]

You both have to compromise and communicate, there is no relationship with out those 2 important things.

Sounds good on the surface, but I don't see anything to compromise on this particular issue. He wants a dog around when he's around, but cannot and will not take care of it. Her taking on the chore of caring for an animal she doesn't want isn't a compromise.

On the other hand, if there's something major the OP wants from him, they would have room to negotiate something. But if he isn't responsible enough to housebreak a dog or clean up after it, I wouldn't count on him keeping any other commitments. Ergo, no dog.

[crisluvsu731]

I meant as in getting another pet, compromise on what you both want and don't want, and go from there. Him getting a dog because he wants one, and her not wanting one. That isn't a compromise, it's just what he wants.

[Gemini54]

The dog needs a new home and the husband needs a brain transplant.

I agree with the other posters - give the dog away to a new owner that will care for it. Bite the bullet and just give away. Don't consider any other pets at the moment, unless it's a goldfish.

Ditch the counselor - they sound like an absolute fool who also needs a brain transplant.

Find a new counselor and get talking about these issues - there is a serious problem with power and communication in your marriage. What is going to happen when you have to agree on things that are really important like having children, or buying a house or anything else?

[Alty]

Personally, I'd choose the dog over the husband. ;)

[talaniman]

Can't he rent one like they do movies??

[Alty]

Can't he rent one like they do movies???

Rent a dog?

I don't think so.

He could volunteer at the humane society, walk the dogs, help with euthanasia day, it's hard work, will make you cry more often then not, but if you love dogs and can't have one, it's great.

Or he could become a dog walker around his neighborhood. ;)

[asking]

Actually, that's a great idea. In Japan you can rent a dog by the hour.

The cat would eat a goldfish.

Edit: California, too.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline...-dog-serv.html

I can imagine time sharing a dog with a couple of close neighbors, but renting one by the hour sounds really stressful for the animal. They are social, pack animals. I'd think they'd want their family, not be with a new stranger every day.

[jmjoseph]

Ask your husband to make a decision, the dog or you. There's the answer to your problem right there. If he says you, I suggest you two still going to a counselor. The fact that you came here shows two things, that this issue is really bothering you, and that you and your husband cannot communicate properly. If he chooses the dog, then pack them both up, and send them on their way.

Beside the dog issue, how are the other day to day things in your marriage? This can't be the ONLY thing about him that bothers you, as you are so quick to rid yourself of him.

Some people simply just DO NOT like dogs. As for me personally, I will have at least one dog for the rest of my life. My wife feels the same way. They have so much to offer. And love unconditionally.

However, if you are one of those people, you should have your house the way you want it. One thing I know about women is that they want their house the way they want their house. Bottom line. I wish you luck, but the dog has no vote in the matter, so I feel for him more.

[simoneaugie]

Hi Deb, I just wanted to validate your dislike of dogs. Actually, I've always loved them but REFUSED to have one because of the care and training... Those are valid points, but the nauseating smell is the real trouble. Yeah, it makes a person sick. Then there are those "dog people" who can pet and love them, sit on the couch snuggled up to that smelly thing.

I got a Basenji for my mom. Then mom decided she didn't want it. Now I enjoy sitting with my dog. Basenjis have no body odor, no doggy smell. Sure, their poop smells like dog poop but their bodies do not. We adopted a Greyhound then. They don't stink either. It worked out for my dog hating.

If you can't imagine living in Antartica your husband should respect that preference. If you cringe at the thought of dog care, he should respect that too. Put your foot down. But like previous posters, I hope you take the time to find a loving home for the little dog. He got caught in the middle.

[deb167]

You having a cat has nothing to do with it. Does he like the cat? Did he want the cat when you got it? It could very well be a power play. You both have to compromise and communicate, there is no relationship with out those 2 important things.

I had the cat before we started dating, so yes he knew about the cat. He said after we were married that he wanted a dog and I told him that not only could we not have a dog in our small apartment at the time but he would be deployed much of the time and I do not want to take care of a dog. After we moved to a townhome and we had a small yard he decided it was time he mentioned the dog once more, while he was gone at another base for 2 months and I was home he called me saying how he wanted a dog and that he was bringing one home even if I said no, what could I say? Other than whatever john, you have to take care of the dog then and it can't be in the house? He didn't listen to me, didn't take care of the first dog, he was gone for 2 weeks and I couldn't take it any longer, the smell and cleaning the messes got to me, so he let me find a better home for the dog. Once again it happened and the same thing has occurred, its as if he is blind to the fact that I am completely adverse to caring for a dog without his help. When he is here, the dog sits at the glass door and cries until I tell john to do something about it, "pay attention to the dog john" "play with the dog" "take him for a walk" "give him a bath" but of course my husband is too lazy and has this idea that taking care of a dog only involves feeding it.

[Gemini54]

I had the cat before we started dating, so yes he knew about the cat. He said after we were married that he wanted a dog and I told him that not only could we not have a dog in our small apartment at the time but he would be deployed much of the time and i do not want to take care of a dog. After we moved to a townhome and we had a small yard he decided it was time he mentioned the dog once more, while he was gone at another base for 2 months and I was home he called me saying how he wanted a dog and that he was bringing one home even if I said no, what could I say? other than whatever john, you have to take care of the dog then and it can't be in the house? He didn't listen to me, didn't take care of the first dog, he was gone for 2 weeks and I couldn't take it any longer, the smell and cleaning the messes got to me, so he let me find a better home for the dog. once again it happened and the same thing has occurred, its as if he is blind to the fact that I am completely adverse to caring for a dog without his help. when he is here, the dog sits at the glass door and cries until I tell john to do something about it, "pay attention to the dog john" "play with the dog" "take him for a walk" "give him a bath" but of course my husband is too lazy and has this idea that taking care of a dog only involves feeding it.

I can't understand why you got a dog for a second time, when the first one didn't work?

[asking]

She didn't get the dog. John got the dog and the OP acquiesced because the counselor had sided with him and pressured her to give him another chance.

[asking]

when he is here, the dog sits at the glass door and cries until I tell john to do something about it, "pay attention to the dog john" "play with the dog" "take him for a walk" "give him a bath" but of course my husband is too lazy and has this idea that taking care of a dog only involves feeding it.

This is heartbreaking. Poor dog.

[Gemini54]

She didn't get the dog. John got the dog and the OP acquiesced because the counselor had sided with him and pressured her to give him another chance.

Thanks.

Clearly that counselor wasn't listening to both parties. As I said, brain transplant required.

[amicon]

Poor dogs indeed.how old are you? Your husband sounds like he s twelve.

[deb167]

poor dogs indeed.how old are you? Your husband sounds like he s twelve.

Im 27. My husband is 25. Tmmrw I am going to see if a dog lover friend of mine wants the dog.

[amicon]

Then what's your plan-will there be dog number three?sounds like you need to have a good think about your marriage.

[deb167]

then whats your plan-will there be dog number three?sounds like you need to have a good think about your marriage.

My plan is not to ever do this to another animal again. Its so sad. There will never be a dog number 3, I don't believe that he will ever be the right kind of caregiver for a dog and well if he insisted I would get a divorce. Its wrong of him to do this to me and an innocent animal.

[amicon]

You re right.stay with that conclusion.all the best.