[Torrid13]

For me, I make eye contact but don't make it a really conscious thing.

The biggest thing I do is make the guy laugh. I can make pretty much anyone laugh, but I do a little happy dance inside whenever I make "the guy" laugh.

Also, I use my traveling experiences & other things to talk to him about. I've been told multiple times I'm interesting, so basically for the first few times, I'll only talk about the things that people in general think are interesting.

And this is going to sound funny, but I can tell when a guy is wearing Axe. I really like the smell of it. So, if I REALLY like the guy, I'll say, "Hey, are you wearing Axe?"

And if he says no (it really doesn't matter if he's wearing it or not) I'll say, "Oh really? Because you smell really good!"

My methods sound cheesy, but believe it or not, they fall for it like no other. Not fall in the sense of that I'm playing them, just they're drawn to me. Haha.

[Justwantfair]

Directness always works with me.
Women don't like the games any more than guys do.
If you have you eye on something, find a way of being direct. I know it's scary, but if you have a decent idea of their personality, most women aren't going to burn you down for a honest conversation. But of course that is my point of view, I have had countless guy friends admit crushes, I have never been mean, simply flattered and if I don't return the interest, I let them know and the friendship typically continues. ::shrug::

I would think it's VERY hard to imagine you ever coming off as a player... must be an assumption we make of bachelors. :)

[asking]

Why is it you women always have to play hard to get (most of the time)?? :cool:

Lots of reasons.

A lot of guys need very little encouragement before they start being pretty presumptuous in what they say or do. If I don't know you, and I don't want your arm around me in 2 minutes, I'm going to be fairly reserved. Maybe the particular person I'm talking to wouldn't do that but I don't necessarily know that. In general, I'm looking for someone who respects boundaries (without being immobilized by shyness). But that's just me.

If a guy can't engage with a woman at a level more sophisticated than a basic pick up line, then a lot of women are not going to be very interested long-term anyway. If I'm looking for someone who is good at something (anything), then I'm going to hold out for someone who can talk intelligently about something, whether it's roofing, movies, music, or bioinformatics. He has to know something about something and be interested in the world. Most women also want to see a guy who can have a two way conversation, which means listening and responding to what she says, not just him holding forth in a way he thinks is entertaining.

Finally, speaking biologically, female animals (and even plants) are usually choosier about who they mate with than males because they invest so much more--first in the egg, then in the pregnancy and lactation (for mammals). Most people spend more time picking out a house than they spend choosing a restaurant meal. That's because the house is a more important choice. For females, choosing who is going to fertilize her eggs is a very important decision.

For male animals, two things are operating that make them less choosy. One is the possibility of not getting to reproduce at all, a much more likely scenario for a male than for a female. Second, is the opportunity to sire children by multiple females at once. (Of course, females can also hedge their bets by serially mating with different males to decrease the chance of getting a really bad one.) So some males are more worried about the first problem--mating at all-- (and should be faithful) and some males are more worried about the second problem (that is, the President Clinton, Governor Sanford problem).

Women don't necessarily think about those things consciously, but we are kind of hard wired to look for a guy who either has good genes and health (a Clinton) or for a guy who is going to be helpful in child rearing--a good husband and father. Hence we come across as choosier--which a guy may interpret as hard to get. It's not a game though. It is serious.

Another aspect. BOTH sexes show some reluctance at times because that makes them appear more desirable to a prospective partner. This is playing hard to get. Sometimes people do it consciously, sometimes they just don't want to seem "too eager," sometimes it's totally unconscious. It can seem like a game and sometimes it is.

Off soapbox.

[hheath541]

Wouldn't bother me at all. Sometimes it's just easier to contact someone online if you don't see them on a regular basis. I see using Facebook and myspace as no different than email. Now, if you ask someone out by posting where everyone else can see it, like a Facebook wall post or myspace profile comment, then you either are confident in the answer, braver than most, or just too stupid to realize you can send a private message to ask the same question.

[Torrid13]

Nice rant, Asking!

It makes a lot of sense, and it was very informative and entertaining to read. :)