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beachgurl · Jul 19, 2009, 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by justcurious55

my father used to beat the cr@p out of me. there was never any sexual abuse. but there was plenty of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. my mother knew about it. he did the same thing to her. i know its hard. but no one else can get you out of it. i finally started talking about it. i told my aunt. she was able to help me convince my mom to get me and my siblings out of there. she helped me get counseling. no one can help you unless you let them. are you able to get in the car and leave? not come back, go out and get your own place? pay your own way for everything? i was under the impression that's not an option for you. but telling other people, letting them help you, that is an option.

I'm really sorry about what happened with you in your past. It's sort of funny how you had just about the same problem as I'm having. But I'll still have to think it all through before I say anything.

N0help4u · Jul 19, 2009, 06:52 AM

You need to do something.
Even calling 800 hotline numbers might be helpful

Oh and keep a well hidden diary of detailed things he does with dates and times.
Like I told mom he ______________at 9 am she left for work at 9:30 he then slapped me at 9:35 after screaming at me.

beachgurl · Jul 19, 2009, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Oh and keep a well hidden diary of detailed things he does with dates and times.
Like I told mom he ______________at 9 am she left for work at 9:30 he then slapped me at 9:35 after screaming at me.

Thanks the diary thing sounds like a good idea.

Shanni4 · Jul 19, 2009, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by beachgurl

Well i didnt mean it as if I couldnt go out and buy it, because I probably could...... I meant it as in I have no transportion, and even if I did I would have to come up with a pretty good excuse of where I went and why I went. I couldn't just say "Oh I"m going over to my friends house" because my step dad would probably call that friend's house and figure out I didnt really go there. If one of my friends could drive, then that would be GREAT! but none of them do.

Give your friend the money and ask them to go buy it. Maybe one of their mothers would get it for you.

Gemini54 · Jul 20, 2009, 01:14 AM

I think you know by now that your step father is abusing you and that anything you say to your mother will be repeated back to him.

I think that talking to your mother is making things worse, because she's in denial. She tells your step dad, he takes it our on you, and round it goes.

If you've got a cell phone, you could keep it on 'record' (secretly) when you're alone with him in the house and then play it back to your father. Keep the diary of dates and times hidden away. You may also want to mention what's happening to some of your friends so that there is proof you've told someone - apart from this forum.

Guys like your step father are bullies - the best thing you can do, at this stage is to remove yourself from the room that he's in and not respond to him in any shape or form. Don't go into your bedroom, go into the garden or the kitchen. Better still, get out and go to a friend's. Try and spend more time with your father or other family if you can.

Once you have enough evidence and have got the courage to do it - tell your father.

beachgurl · Jul 20, 2009, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by Gemini54

I think you know by now that your step father is abusing you and that anything you say to your mother will be repeated back to him.

I think that talking to your mother is making things worse, because she's in denial. She tells your step dad, he takes it our on you, and round it goes.

If you've got a cell phone, you could keep it on 'record' (secretly) when you're alone with him in the house and then play it back to your father. Keep the diary of dates and times hidden away. You may also want to mention what's happening to some of your friends so that there is proof you've told someone - apart from this forum.

Guys like your step father are bullies - the best thing you can do, at this stage is to remove yourself from the room that he's in and not respond to him in any shape or form. Don't go into your bedroom, go into the garden or the kitchen. Better still, get out and go to a friend's. Try and spend more time with your father or other family if you can.

Once you have enough evidence and have got the courage to do it - tell your father.

I've decided I'm going to tell my older sister first sometime this week and then she could help me tell my dad.

Jake2008 · Jul 20, 2009, 08:40 AM

That sounds like an excellent idea.

Good for you for coming up with a plan.

I hope you will post with how that goes.

jmjoseph · Jul 20, 2009, 08:54 AM

I think most of us are concerned for your safety. Get your father involved as soon as possible. It sounds like it's just a matter of time before he crosses the line. If you were my daughter, I would want to know about this. ( I would have a long "talk" with this "tough guy")If your mother is always taking his side, maybe this is not the best place for you. May GOD keep and protect you.

genesisz · Jul 22, 2009, 03:03 PM

You should just sit down with your mom and tell her what happening an say its me or him . If she doesn't listen to you . Just ask on of your friend can you spend the night at her house. Tell your mom your running away. Go to your friend house for the night and go back to your house the next day .she will go crazy looking for you an tell her your sorry but she was not listening.if she still doesn't believe you see if you can get help from someone close to you like an annt or an uncle

N0help4u · Jul 22, 2009, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by genesisz

you should just sit down with your mom and tell her what happenin an say its me or him .

She already told her mom, her mom didn't believe her and it made it worse.
Saying its him or me is only going to make it worse because mom tells him everything and then she gets screamed at and smacked when mom leaves.
Besides they would call her bluff anyway.
If she did runaway where ever she went would be in legal trouble.

Originally Posted by genesisz

if she doesnt listen to you . just ask on of your friend can u spend the night at her house.
tell your mom your running away. go to your friend house for the night and go back to your house the next day .she will go crazy lookin for you an tell her your sorry but she was not listenin.if she still doesnt believe u see if you can get help from someone close to you like an annt or an uncle

Again she can not just decide to go stay at a friends. He would say no and she would be in trouble. If she snuck off she would be in even more serious trouble when she returned. Again where ever she went could get in trouble if the police were notified by the mom and him.