[Justwantfair]

They have grown kids from their five year marriage?

Or obviously this isn't their first go around?

I stand by everything I have said, he has to admit to the cheating before you are going to handle solutions.

At this point, all trust is completely gone.

An affair crumbled the foundation of a relationship.

No foundation, your house of love is going to crack and crumble.

[jenniepepsi]

Sorry for the confusion. He isn't the kid's dad. This is her second marriage.

Sorry she isn't very good at relaying importantn info. I have to ask her directly for everything

[DoulaLC]

I agree with Justwantfair, he needs to come clean and put forth the effort if they have any hope in rebuilding trust in the relationship. If he won't, and certainly if she feels he continues to cheat, she doesn't have much choice.

Stay, turn a blind eye, and try to endure it, or cut her losses, move on, and build a better life for herself. IF there is any consulation, thank goodness it was 5 years and not 40.

[jenniepepsi]

Hmmm... she says she does NOT want to continue the relationship... im not sure what she wants to know... im wondering if she is only looking for confermation of her disicion. Sort of like 'am I doing the right thing'


Keep in mind there is a language barrier here, she doesn't speak englesh very well and I only know very little spanish.

[hheath541]

She needs to leave his and use the proof in court when she files for divorce.

[Justwantfair]

she needs to leave his and use the proof in court when she files for divorce.

For the second time that I am telling you.

Adultery is no longer a fault in divorce. It will not benefit her in filing.

[Jake2008]

Just my 2 cents worth here.

She has presented her evidence directly to him, and he will still not accept responsibility for what he has done.

What has been presented to him should be followed by something. If she wishes to work through this and HE is willing to fess up and also work through this, then by all means go this route. It will not be easy, and only you can decide if it is worth the effort to try to establish trust again.

I suspect that the 'evidence' is only the tip of the iceberg.

[hheath541]

For the second time that I am telling you.

Adultery is no longer a fault in divorce. It will not benefit her in filing.

In which states is it no longer considered a fault? I know for a fact that it still is in at least Ohio.

[Jake2008]

Well that's interesting. I did not realize that. I guess going that route would be a negative due to the possible costs involved. Seems much easier with a no-fault.

Divorce Source: FAQs About Ohio Divorce

[DoulaLC]

in which states is it no longer considered a fault? i know for a fact that it still is in at least ohio.

It is still in some states, not in others. Some state you can go either way apparently.

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/Pages/...ault%20divorce

[jenniepepsi]

Hmm from what I understand, in Arizona they call divorce dissolousion of marriage, and use a default no-fault.

UNLESS she has a covenent marriage (which I will need to ask her after she comes back from lunch) in which case she WILL need to prove one of the following...

•Adultery
•Conviction of a felony which mandates imprisonment or death
•Abandonment for over one year
•Commission of domestic violence against spouse, child or relative
•Living separately and continuously and without reconciliation for over two years
•Living separately for over one year after a legal separation is obtained
•Habitual use of drugs or alcohol
•Both spouses agree to a dissolution

Divorce in Arizona


*edit* also, thank you everyone for all the help you have offered.

[talaniman]

What do you do when you know your husband is cheating and you confront him with it and he lies about and you show him the proof?

Somebody has to go, until this mess is figured out. If he mind is made up, the next step is a lawyer and get some professional advise.