[kctiger]

Lola: I am happy for you that you are done with this loser... and yes, he is a grade A LOSER... L-7 type.

Gives the rest of us a bad name... :cool:

Happy Friday my friend. You will get through this, we know how to take care of our own at AMHD.

[Romefalls19]

L-7 Weenie!

[ajGambino]

Hey lola,

Whatever I can do to help. I have been through it and now I'm going through worse then what I've been through. I can't totally understand your situation but the pain is more similar then different. Anytime you want to vent, feel down or even have a good day, let's hear it. We hope to hear and see good progress from you. BTW, my breakup has been since April 21st.

[lola29]

Hi KC and Romefalls,

Thanks for your feedback guys.

When he left I felt so much peaceful and a sense relief because he won't be around to torture me (thats how I felt) and cause me so much pain and suffering everyday.

My children are happier and can play without being shouted and abuse by their father.

Yes, I am starting to love "myself" again and focus on myself and children's happiness. I just need to work hard on my feelings and have some control over it, stay cool and positive.

We just need to remind ourselves that whatever happened in our lives there is always lesson to learn and growing upd to do.

[mudweiser]

Stick to your guns. There are so many women that leave but come back. It happens.

Just a thought...

Sarah

[lola29]

Hi AJ,

Your crisis is very new and I can feel your pain when I was at that stage. The pain was extreme and excruciating that I was in tears most of them, I lost a lot of weight and had nightmares and cant' sleep. I find myself getting up crying at 2 and 3 am. However my family, friends and work colleagues are being supportive and they a lot.

Today I am a bit stronger than yesterday but I go through the cycle. I saw my GP last week and she told me that I have depression and suggested some steps to work on it and possible medication. I don't want any medication but I have to see a Therapist/Counsellor to deal with my deepest and strong hatred.

Try to get support from your family members and your friends. Talking about our feelings and recognising it is very important. Also, we need to have people that can empathise and can listen and will judge us. But help and guide us through by reflection and analysis of the situation we are in.

It is ironic that in the past I used to conduct counselling and provided support to many women. However, I find myself in a predicament when it comes to myself and lsot control. But at the same I recognise that I am a human being, have feelings and not perfect.

Thanks , we are lucky to have this forum and have the support, empathy and good listening ears.

AJ, the same here, we just hold our hands and lift our heads up and say to ourselves that "we deserve better" and that every dog has its day and what comes around, goes around. I am lucky that I have beautiful girls who always tell me that they both love me and give me kisses and tells me that I am the best Mum in the whole world. They are my reason to live and to stay strong.

AJ just hang on there.

Lola

[lola29]

Hi Sarah,

Yes, definitely I have to stick to my gun. Sometimes I close my eyes and condition myself and bring back to the times when we were together and experiencing all that agony and ill treatment he gave me. He treated me like dirt and abuse me in front of my auntie.

I wouldn't put myself again in that crisis ever again and re-live the history of pain and mental torture. No, I wouldn't want that again, it was so traumatic experience.

The cycle stopped when I asked him to leave 7 weeks ago and that is the end of us.

I don't think I would be able to love nor trust again. Every time I think of being close to another man again in the future, I get sick in my stomach and I could feel the "butterly" of hatred deep in my heart.

Sarah, thanks for your support, guidance and good lsitening ears.

Cheers,

Lola