[Wildcat21]

The guy is a drug dealer. He has no 'income' - never has. He's on drugs and alocohol as well.

[Depressed in MO]

That is true WildCat. He keeps trying to make me feel guilty. I hate him for that!

[Wildcat21]

Well - just take it as he knows how to push you buttons - time to change. Understand and know it's a form of manipulation. You should ahte this man to no end - for ever. The father of your kids and he can't grow up and be a man? I know 12 year olds that act much more responsible than him.

[kp2171]

sorry to hear how things are going.

there's hardly anything rational I can say when the situation is so irrational (his fault)... this is reaching the point where it might be time to leave, as in another place to live.

I know that's much easier to type out than do. It just might be getting to that place. My wife had to deal with an aggressive, stalking ex boyfriend... but he lived out of state and he was more "honest" than your ex... meaning he had a job he valued and was respected at and when he was fired from it due to his documented behaviour, he slowly began to back away. I don't see how you can really modify your ex's behaviour other than the threat of jail time. And jail time or the threat of it hasn't really changed he behavior so far.

so I don't know that I have anything new to offer here other than I'm sorry to hear he's still manipulating you and abusing you in this way. It does not have to be this hard and you deserve to live a better life than this.

[YeloDasy]

You are doing the right thing... you have the right to protect you and the children. He is a substance abuser, and he will manipulate every situation until he truly accepts help. Do not give in ONE inch until he proves to you FOR A LONG Period that he takes full responsibility, gets a job, his own place, and no longer maniluplates! He needs to prove that he can think rationally and problem solve... but that is not going to happen anytime soon.

So keep being a hater for now... that is giving you the strength that you need! Keep reminding yourself that it is NOT YOUR FAULT and you are being treated terribly.

And if the only way to have no contact with him is a restraining order, then do it. I wonder if you sit at the courthouse until someone hears you, you will get what you are looking for... they are dealing with someone's life, and if they do not honor it, they will pay a high price if someone gets hurt! THye don't want that... advocate for yourself Ma'am!! YOu have dine a great job so far!

[tamikiopruitt]

I went in up under your usersname and check out some of your questions I'm new her today so sorry I was not her to have answer your first. I read the question about you leaving your abusive boyfriend. Thank god you did not marry him. I did not read some of the other response that other people gave you to your question but let just that I'm answer your question for the first time. You are not keeping your children away or turning them against their father by not letting him spend time with them if he is not paying child support for one keep your kids at home with you once he did not return my kid back at a reasonable time he would not have gotten them the second time NO! You don't need him for your children if he asks like that if you left him leave him just where he's at god know your heart he will sent you a good man to help you and raise your children just like they are his. You are blessed with child already I'm still waiting. Pray and ask jesus to keep that man away from you and also pray that god will straighten him out enough to come and see his children

[Depressed in MO]

i went in up under your usersname and check out some of your questions im new her today so sorry i was not her to have answer your first. i read the question about you leaving your abusive boyfriend. thank god you did not marry him. i did not read some of the other response that other people gave you to your question but let just that im answer your question for the first time. you are not keeping your children away or turning them against their father by not letting him spend time with them if he is not paying child support for one keep your kids at home with you once he did not return my kid back at a reasonable time he would not have gotten them the second time NO! you dont need him for your children if he asks like that if you left him leave him just where hes at god know your heart he will sent you a good man to help you and raise your children just like they are his. you are blessed with child already im still waiting. pray and ask jesus to keep that man away from you and also pray that god will straighten him out enough to come and see his children

Thank you, I appreciate the support. I recently tried letting him have a supervised visit (supervised by me) because our daughter had her fifth birthday... catastrophe. I am so ashamed of myself for letting that happen. But we are safe now and I am looking into some legal action that I may be able to take and still be safe. ;)