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    seerm77's Avatar
    seerm77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    May 4, 2009, 12:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Romefalls19 View Post
    Take it slow, love isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Pace yourself
    Thanks for the advice man, I will make sure to do so... I appreciate it... I just hope we can work something because that first date was amazing... 10 hours we were speaking for (7pm till 5am)... I told her I don't think I had ever spoken to someone so much, not even my ex's (I didn't say that bit)
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #22

    May 4, 2009, 12:21 PM

    I love my Facebook. I have the window open literally all day at work. It's a very good way to stay in touch, as well as effectively do my job - I interview people all the time through Facebook.

    That all being said, Facebook is the worst thing to happen to relationships. Seriously.

    This girl may truly want to be just friends. She may have had an awesome time on your first date, but prefers to remain friends. Why read something into what she said? She was being honest.

    It is now your decision on the next step. If you want to keep this girl friends, then go out again. But as friends. Not as a means to an end.

    Going into this friendship, you know already that she doesn't want anything more than someone to hang out with. Don't try to say "I can make her fall in love with me" because that is not what she wants.

    I wouldn't try so hard to "read her" as you should listen to what she's saying and decide if you want her as a friend. If you are looking for a relationship, she is not it.

    Best of luck.
    seerm77's Avatar
    seerm77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    May 4, 2009, 12:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    I love my facebook. I have the window open literally all day at work. It's a very good way to stay in touch, as well as effectively do my job - I interview people all the time through facebook.

    That all being said, Facebook is the worst thing to happen to relationships. Seriously.

    This girl may truly want to be just friends. She may have had an awesome time on your first date, but prefers to remain friends. Why read something into what she said? She was being honest.

    It is now your decision on the next step. If you want to keep this girl friends, then go out again. But as friends. Not as a means to an end.

    Going into this friendship, you know already that she doesn't want anything more than someone to hang out with. Don't try to say "I can make her fall in love with me" because that is not what she wants.

    I wouldn't try so hard to "read her" as you should listen to what she's saying and decide if you want her as a friend. If you are looking for a relationship, she is not it.

    Best of luck.
    Wouldn't that be weird... why ask me out for a drink when she had already initially ignored my advances... why ask me back to hers when I was leaving? And she did say she wanted to be friends for the moment... why go out with me after being passionate as just friends..
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #24

    May 4, 2009, 12:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by seerm77 View Post
    wouldnt that be weird... why ask me out for a drink when she had already initially ignored my advances... why ask me back to hers when i was leaving? And she did say she wanted to be friends for the moment... why go out with me after being passionate as just friends...?
    Honestly, I don't know. But, that's what she said.

    Wait it out... but don't push her. She said that she wants to just be friends... unless you want to ask her about it - why she just wants to be friends - you're just going to have to go with the flow.

    Go into this "friendship" knowing that you're just friends... nothing more.

    She may be one of those types of girls that says one thing and means another... but if it were me, I'd say what I was feeling. Honesty is always the best.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #25

    May 4, 2009, 12:36 PM

    I agree, Facebook and myspace are the worst things that have ever happened to relationships. They create far too many problems, my fiancé and I share a myspace page, she uses it for family since she's from California and I use it for new bands I want to listen to. Facebook, I keep in touch with my friends that way and we have a stable relationship. I advise any young couple to stay away from this epidemic.

    If I hear one more post about their boyfriend not having them as their top friend, I might start shooting bunny rabbits.
    seerm77's Avatar
    seerm77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    May 4, 2009, 12:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    Honestly, I don't know. But, that's what she said.

    Wait it out... but don't push her. She said that she wants to just be friends... unless you want to ask her about it - why she just wants to be friends - you're just going to have to go with the flow.

    Go into this "friendship" knowing that you're just friends... nothing more.

    She may be one of those types of girls that says one thing and means another... but if it were me, I'd say what I was feeling. Honesty is always the best.
    Im quite a good reader of people... and honestly I did think she was in to me. She doesn't seem to be one of these people that just asks a guy back for the sake of it.

    She said when I was leaving that she was seeing her sister to give her all the gossip as she wanted to know it all... I'm just wondering how much her sister did influence and if my Facebook status had anything to go by.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #27

    May 4, 2009, 01:06 PM

    She said when I was leaving that she was seeing her sister to give her all the gossip as she wanted to know it all... I'm just wondering how much her sister did influence
    Ok, so, let's run with that... Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't make up their own mind?

    If that was the case, to the extreme, she is the type of person that cannot survive without the approval of her peers... no matter what happened... at the minimum, she is not willing to listen to her own heart and "try and see."

    Something to think about.

    and if my Facebook status had anything to go by.
    Forget about Facebook. Seriously.

    Again. If a mistake of status on Facebook keeps this girl from pursuing a relationship, she may care too much about appearances.

    These are all things that you need to consider.

    Or, she could simply want to be friends.
    seerm77's Avatar
    seerm77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    May 4, 2009, 01:21 PM

    I'm confused... Some people are saying she is playing it slow, others that she just wants to be friends...

    What shall I do?
    seerm77's Avatar
    seerm77 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    May 4, 2009, 02:24 PM
    I suppose if she said it's best we remain friends and that's it I would know where I stand... But she said she wanted FOR THE MOMENT to be just b friends... and also why ask me for another drink. She knows I'm only going to b in the company for 4 more weeks, and it's not if I know her that much... Didn't really speak to her till we had our date.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #30

    May 4, 2009, 02:55 PM

    Do you hear yourself, why make a big deal out of one lousy date and go on, and on about it. Listen guy, she said friends and that's what she means and that's how you take it. No more, no less, as friends and CO-WORKERS do those things.

    I highly suggest you expand your dating arena, and not count on this one date going any where, any time soon, and not put all your eggs in her basket. Go out with others and have fun given you haven't been broken up that long.

    Sorry guy, healthy guys don't go head first into anything with a female who talks friends after one date, especially one we work with. Not smart.

    You just got out of one relationship, don't think another one is appropriate right now, and I bet that's on her mind as well. She would be dumb as sin to throw her heart into a guy who is fresh from a break up!

    Notice I made no comment about the Facebook crap, that was left out on purpose.

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