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stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 10:22 AM

Do you have sole legal custody or joint? Because it sounds to me like he is within his rights to deny the travel, for whatever petty reason he wants. Granted, he has to make it good... like missing a day of school... but still...

You can sue for the legal fees if you want, but you will lose if he fights you. After all, you didn't HAVE to go to court. You should have gotten everything in writing before the fact.

firefly9550 · May 14, 2009, 10:24 AM

I live in Canada, If I want to leave to travel to the USA I need the other parents permission regardless who has custody. I hve legal custody. All judges signed a motion so it was free for me to travel but only after I took the Father to court for his refusing to. If this continues I will have to file in court every year so my daughter and I can go to Florida to visit family. I can only see if I sue him for my legal fee's he would stop this controlling and abusive behaviour.

JudyKayTee · May 14, 2009, 10:26 AM

I am not terribly familiar with Canadian Law but why can't whatever Order is now in place be changed to allow you to travel X times a year, out of the Country?

I see that in divorces in the US - you can take the child out of the country for X days a year.

Possible?

stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by firefly9550

I live in Canada, If I want to leave to travel to the USA I need the other parents permission regardless who has custody. I hve legal custody. All judges signed a motion so it was free for me to travel but only after I took the Father to court for his refusing to. If this continues I will have to file in court each and every year so my daughter and I can go to Florida to visit family. I can only see if I sue him for my legal fee's he would stop this controlling and abusive behaviour.

If your travel violates his visitation, its his right to block the travel. You going to court every time is the poor behavior.

firefly9550 · May 14, 2009, 10:30 AM

I never block his weekend, all travel is on my week with her. He has her EOW and has her three non consecutive weeks in the summer that I never infringe on..

stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 10:32 AM

I don't mean to sound rude, but if he is arguing that you shouldn't take her out of school for vacation, I have to agree with him. Its not being petty, its being a good parent.

firefly9550 · May 14, 2009, 10:39 AM

Well then tell me this, if he was a good parent would he buy a small lawn chair and a bug keeper for his daughter to play with in Florida and agree to the trip only to go back on his word 48 hours before the trip?. What was I suppose to tell my daughter.. Daddy changed his mind?. It's a pattern he does every year...

2700 is a lot of money to pay out when this "good parent" quit his job the moment he lost any kind of custody of his daughter and pays next to nothing now.

Sorry to sound offensive but 1 day of school for a child in grade one is so petty..

JudyKayTee · May 14, 2009, 10:42 AM

Apparently the father doesn't think it's petty.

And what he does/has/spends money on is not part of the custody/travel question.

That's his business. If child support is unfair, then appeal the Order.

stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 10:47 AM

I just reread everything and here is my opinion:

Every time you don't get what you want, you take him to court to force the issue then complain about your legal fees.

Try this: work with him instead of against him. Instead of running to court every time you want something, work out a lawyer free compromise. If you cannot afford to live on what you make, maybe taking international trips every year isn't the best plan, especially because they cause static in a relationship that is going to last at least 10 more years.

firefly9550 · May 14, 2009, 10:55 AM

I would love to work out something with this man but he is inflexible, we went through 2 psychological expertises and both said he was controlling and refuses to see my reality.
We went through a three year custody battle and I maintained legal custody.

stevetcg · May 14, 2009, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by firefly9550

I would love to work out something with this man but he is inflexible, we went through 2 psychological expertises and both said he was controlling and refuses to see my reality.
We went through a three year custody battle and I maintained legal custody.

But here is the bottom line: he is the child's father and his opinion on her upbringing and activities are as valid as yours are.

Does it suck? Sure... but it could be a lot worse too.

firefly9550 · May 14, 2009, 11:13 AM

True... Thanks for your input you have been very helpful