[none12345]

Sadly that's part of life. Love and loss, moving on, finding love again. Trust me, you aren't the first person to go through this, you won't be the last. I know it feels like your heart is being torn out of your chest, you truly believe that you feel worse then anyone else does, but you don't.

My first love and I had so much chemistry, we loved to be around eachother, loved just talking to eachother, everything was wonderful, then we broke up. The sad thing is, I think I missed his friendship more then anything else. The sound of his voice, his company, the discussions we'd have. It was a hard thing to get over, it took a long time before I stopped crying every time I thought of him.

Weeks turned into month, months turned into a year. One night my friend invited me to a club for her friends birthday party. I realldy didn't feel like going, but decided to get my arse out and have some fun. I had no intentions of meeting anyone other then a new friends. When this guy came up to me, started flirting, I flirted back casually, but that was it.

Well, that guy and I have been together since that night, 19 years, married for almost 14, two great kids, blah, blah, blah. So don't give up on love, it's out there. :)

Really mushy lately, must be something in the water. ;)

Oh. If you don't mind me asking what happened between you and your first love? O_O

[itried]

You show true love for someone in only one way: sacrifice.

If you are willing to sacrifice any part of your identity, your happiness or security for someone else, then you can be sure that you truly love them. If someone does the same for you then you can be sure that they love you in the same way.

I feel that this one aspect of love/relationships actually lets you and your partner know if it is "true" or not. All the other stuff like flowers and candy and "I love you's" etc, while still nice, are not as important as this one quality. Sacrifice shows a deep commitment and loyalty that no other gesture can even come close to matching.

[Alty]

oh. If you dont mind me asking what happened between you and your first love? O_O

We're friends. :)

We were 17 when we dated, and yes, it was love, but, when I met my husband I realized that the love I felt for my first was not nearly as wonderful as the love I had for my husband.

So, did I love him? Yes. Do I still love him? Yes, he's a dear friend, I'll always love him, but it's not the kind of love that has the ability to hurt. Make sense?

My husband is everything to me. He's my partner, my lover, my best friend, everything.

There are hard days, love isn't easy, but, when it's real, there's nothing you can't overcome.

You just have to find the person who loves you as much as you love them. After all, love is a two way street.

Fyi. The girl that my first love left me for, they got married, divorced a year later. He married again, divorced 10 years later. Now he's single, wondering where he went wrong. It wasn't in leaving me, although he's questioned it. You see, I know that sooner or later, if he hadn't left, I would have.

We're better friends then lovers. That's just the way it is. :)

[none12345]

oh =P you got your happy ending.

I just don't know if I can ever love again after all of this. What if someone is just meant to only love one person and them? And afterwards if they break up they find out that that's the only person they will ever love yet they've moved on. I just think love is so complicated lol

[Alty]

Well, you're in the "I'll never find love again" stage. Been there done that, I think I wrote a book about it. Ask anyone else, anyone who's ever been in love if they've gone through this stage, the answer will be yes.

In other words, I know what you're feeling, and you will feel this way for however long it takes you to get over it. In one way we're all different. Some people get over a breakup really quickly, others seem to drag their feet. Take all the time you need, you'll know when you're ready to put yourself back out there.

Will you find love again? Well let me ask you this? Are you an axe murderer? A complete arse? Do you have 6 eyes a 3rd nipple and a hoof? If not, you will meet someone else and, sooner or later, you'll meet someone that you will love.

I'll make you a bet. You game?

I bet you that you will find love again. I also bet you that once you find this love, you'll look back on the ex and say "what the heck was I thinking?"

One day you'll be sitting on your front porch, watching you kids play, your wife will come outside, you'll look at her and think "boy am I glad the first one didn't work out!"

Ten bucks, I'm good for it, are you? ;)

[none12345]

lol yah I'm not any of those that you mention. Okay ill take the bet ALT =P. Im sure if I find love again, I wouldn't mind the 10 bucks but if I don't ima come looking for you and you can't hide =P

[Alty]

I'm hiding already, can't you tell? ;)

I'm not worried, I'm very certain I'll be ten bucks richer one day. :D

Now, if you lose you have to be honest. Also, I see you're in Canada, well so am I. So it's 10 Canadian dollars (really not a lot to lose :p)

Now, to help me win this bet, you know, rig it a bit, I need to know.

How old are you?
Where in Canada are you?
Any other info you think is important.

You see, I have cousins and friends with daughters, so I may be able to push a few gals your way, just to make sure. ;)

[none12345]

lmao. Yah I'm 19, I live in maple basically the city right above toronto =P. only had 1 girlfriend so far, studying at university. Anything else you want to know? =P

[none12345]

If I lose I have to be honest lol what is that suppose to mean? XD

[none12345]

awww alt no compatible matches? >_< =P that's all right I guess XD

[Alty]

Sorry, I was answering another thread.

19, in Ontario, university student, let me rack my brain, it takes a while sometimes.

I have a 22 year old second cousin, I basically raised her. She's a bit of a handful, but she's very pretty. If you don't end up killing her (she can be annoying, needy, self concious) then you may end up loving her, or hating her. Ya, let's forget her.

Do you have an age group you're looking at? Above 18, under 25?

I need more info. ;)

[none12345]

Lol I'm not sure if I could date an older girl because I never had, preferably someone above 18 or not too close definitely not under 16 maybe around their early 20's XD.

I don't want a tomboy this time lol, I'm almost done first year of school, I wouldn't mind someone needy, I find myself to be needy lol I want someone to smother XD

Someone who loves to travel, nice, not to tall I'm 5"9 so shorter than that lol I'm very musical, play the piano, guitar and drums, but she doesn't have to be. Someone that doesn't like dancing, can be quiet but also speaks their mind. Anything else? Lol

[Alty]

Actually, she comes pretty close.

She loves the outdoors, she's around 5'9" so the same height as you. She loves guitar hero, is that close enough? She loves camping, loves hunting, fishing, playing board games, etc. etc.

She's very jealous, very insecure, a guy that dates her has to keep his eyes forward at all times. If you even look at another girl, you will get her wrath.

You sure she sounds good?

Well, it's your life, or death. ;)

[none12345]

lol I get very jealous too and someone who dates me I don't want them to get too close to another guy. Do 2 of those go well together? Lol

but yah I don't mind because I'm the committed type and I won't look at another girl =P Guitar hero? I have that but I didn't play it too much so I'm not very "pro" lol. But yah I like camping because of the night time stuff like the campfire, I love to fish, board games? Haven't played it in a while not that big of a fan.

There are lots of things I want to do, travel around Europe, go to space one day if I can lol, explore the rainforest, the tundra. My ex said I'm a dreamer which is pretty down putting and she said I should come back to reality. Maybe someone that could be supportive of that lol

Lol if she sounds good? She could XD what do you think? Lol is there anyone else?

[Alty]

She's the only one I can think of off the top of my head.

You could always wait 12-16 years and date my daughter, she's 6 right now, but she's gorgeous! Wait, what am I doing, shoo, stay away. ;)

Okay, now I have to put her in a convent. Poo. :(

[none12345]

LOL HAHA. She's your baby, she's not dating anyone anytime soon I bet you ll keep her in the house till she's 30. Jokes lol

Anyway what do you think? Does me and her sound like there might be something there? Lol

[Alty]

Could be. There's only one problem I can think of. She doesn't usually date younger guys, and you're younger. Also, we're in Alberta, you're in Ontario. I guees that's 2 problems. Math isn't my thing. ;)

I could ask her, see what she says, test the waters, hold her head under until she agrees, you know, the usual. ;)

As for my baby. I'm realistic. Mommy wasn't an angel, how can I expect her to be? One good thing, I know what teenage girls do, how they think, everything. It's going to be really hard for her to slip anything past me. Muwahahahahaha! :D

[none12345]

ALBERTA?? LOL That's SO FAR AWAY. AWWW but yah I never dated an older girl before. Just came out of a long distance relationship, it wasn't that sweet if you know what I mean?

But yah oh well XD but if you ask me, knowing me and her, the jealous types we won't know what's going on in each other's lives and we ll get really jealous so I don't think it ll work out. It might? I don't know who knows what the future will bring.

But yah, actually I feel somewhat better, knowing that there are other girls out there now, I still have lots of baggage and left over feelings from my ex. Lol it wouldn't hurt letting her know about it though XD

[Alty]

If you ever need to talk I'm here. So is everyone else on this site.

Look around, there are so many others going through a breakup right now, you aren't alone.

Don't give up, I want that $10. ;)

[none12345]

Awww remember our bet ALT lol if you can push the bet a little more to your side it would be nice lol XD but yah I guess I just need someone to introduce me to some girls lol and who knows I might just end up mailing you a check for 10$ one day =P Don't EVA FORGET THE BET. Wait for the check lol!!