[sully123]

Pinkberry we all go through it, but your strong and have moved on Sometimes, they just dump you and they give you no reason. You start wondering if its you and questioning yourself. Right now he has moved on, and so have you. Usually they circle back in your life sometimes later, and you don't want them. IT's happened to me. Good luck and keep strong.

[dincher]

My two cents: Usually when someone leaves like that abruptly - without saying anything, or giving a valid excuse, it means that there is someone else involved. But you already know this, as you were able to confirm it.

My ex husband of 10 years did the same to me - destroyed our marriage for a girl he had only known for a month.

I cried in a similar forum like this one - kept asking why why why - after such a successful marriage (or so I thought) would he destroy it and then so abruptly. Well, I learned from other people who were also going through the same thing that it's usually the other woman/ man who puts blinders on them. Once they fall in love, there is pretty much nothing you, I or any other dumped one can do about it but move on.

It's hard to move on, yes, and you're absolutely NORMAL - nothing wrong with missing the good moments in your relationship - in fact, I'd dare say you should treasure those moments - don't think your history with him is erased just because he left or because your friends tell you that you should forget about him.
Not to say to dwell on it, but time is really the only thing that can heal your wounds. The more time passes, the better you will feel, until one day you will wake up and not think about this again.

Until then, I really do wish you the best. There is nothing worse than loving someone and not having your love returned.

[pinkberry8]

Thank You all for your responses, it helps me to stay strong. Those of you who told me that the ex always comes back sooner or later were right. Recently I got a call from my ex. He changed his number so I didn't recognize it. At first I was shocked to hear his voice and I probably should've hanged up on him but I didn't. I was surprised at myself actually, all the anger I felt towards him was gone. I spoke with him quiet normally. Anyway, he said that he's not trying to get back with me but would like to meet up with me to tell me the truth as to why he left. He also wants me in his life as a friend. I know friendship with the ex is probably impossible and it will only hurt me in the end, so I won't go down that path and I made that clear to him. But what do you guys think about me meeting him once? Should I give him a chance to explain why he left the way he did or should I just keep continuing NC?

[Torrid13]

Sometimes closure really helps others, and sometimes it makes healing worse. I know I didn't get any closure from my ex (broke up with me out of the blue), and I stayed NC, and I'm much better for it. I don't think I could have listened to him tell me all the reasons (whether they were true or not) of why he would rather have me as a friend vs. a lover.

You're going to have to weigh the pros and cons of knowing. If you think you can sincerely handle it, then go for it. But you think that you can't handle it and it will hurt you more in the end, I would steer clear.

[liz28]

You came such a long way so do you really think you need to hear what he has to say? I don't think so! You risk the chance of relasping if you meet up with him just to hear what he has to say.

The past is the past and what was done can't be undone. This sounds more like him having to clear his conscience because of the way he left you than about you. This is more about his closure than yours. Stay strong!

[talaniman]

This is about his closure, but your curious, I know. I think it's a lousy idea to meet him. I don't trust anyone who disappears for 6 months.

[Sparky1969]

I think you should not meet up and keep the NC. Don't see what good would come of it other than more confusion for you. He probably wants to justify his appalling behaviour.

You already know the truth why he left - he decided to see another girl.

He was quite happy to leave you wondering when he started seeing someone else. Didn't worry him then about you being a friend.

Don't put yourself through it - you have done the hard part.

[taoplr]

Let it go. You have more to lose than gain in meeting with him. Entanglement would be a loss; understanding might be a gain, but it's a long shot. Most likely, he wants to feel better by rationalizing his actions.

Don't do it.

Tao

[sully123]

Pinkberry I was with an ex boyfriend for like 2 1/2 yrs. After a 1 1/2 we made contact with each other. We are friends, but its just not there anymore. If it was his choice he would want a relationship, but I choose not too. He doesn't offer me enough. But I can pick up the phone and call him and he could do the same. So as I said they always circle back. It might work, and it might not, depends on the situation.

[pinkberry8]

Thank you all for making me come to my senses. He really won't be able to tell me anything that can change the past. It's been almost a year, so at this point the truth hardly matters. I really regret speaking with him. NC is definitely the best thing anyone can do after a break up.

[Brenda227]

I came across your post, pinkberry8, and I applaud you for being strong. I, too, went through something similar. I put so much effort into the relationship and out of the blue he stopped answering my calls/texts/emails. A month goes by with NC and he decides to contact me. I thought I did something wrong the last time we were together, but he said he just "never received any of my calls or messages". It was too late, him not contacting me was a sign he didn't want to be with me. He's now with his ex. It still hurts to see that he is happy and that I was treated the way I was.

Anyway, I never knew there was such a site like this. Just happened to stumble across your post. I hope you are doing well! :)