[polish princess]

I wanted to correct myself when I said we never kiss, we do kiss but nothing involving tongues and never during sex

[smoothy]

OK, that does change things somewhat. And would require rethinking the situation.

[Alty]

I may be completely wrong here, but it sounds like he's just not that confident where sex is concerned.

It's time to sit down, tell him what you like, give the guy a bit of direction. Most guys don't understand a women's body until a women tells them. You know what you like, don't make him guess.

Communication is key. If you can't talk to your lover about sex then you shouldn't be having sex. It takes two people to have good sex, and it takes two to have horrible sex. Talk to him, in a non-confrontational way.

Good luck.

[slapshot_oi]

Damnit, how do all these lucky guys get women to have a three-way?

The 3some was my idea I wanted to do it and he shared me with a girl. He is not really into adding another guy, however I am I love trying new things.

Hmm, that might be it then. Because it was your idea, he probably feels like he can't satisfy you (a huge blow to his manhood) and that you need to have all these wild experiences. Men do fantasize about stuff like this too, but not with their girlfriends and wives, nor women who they want to be their girlfriends and wives.

A woman who is more sexually active than me is intimidating, he may feel the same way.

A three-way is a hot idea in the beginning of the relationship (for me anyway), but after you've had enough time to build a foundation, fall in love and stake a claim in one another, it's not as attractive.

After a little over a year of dating, I couldn't share my ex-girlfriend even with another girl (not like she ever wanted to involve another girl anyway, probably 'cause she knew how bad I wanted it).

[polish princess]

I think everyone feels different about how? When? What is? Or isn't acceptable in a relationship. I don't think anyone should really put a time frame on it because what feels attractive to one person after a year may not be necessarily the same way another may feel and if you can do something in the beginning why not do it at a later time. I mean when I got in to this relationship, I got in to it for the long run with the hopes that one day I will be a wife. The 3 some was my idea.
Anyway The 3some has had no good nor bad impact on the relationship nor did it affect our sex life in any positive or negative way... its still not happening!!
Maybe one of you is right he sees me only as a friend??

[talaniman]

The sex isn't the problem, the way you relate to each other is. I'll bet you can be quit intimidating and down right mean and cruel.

however only when we have an argument and sometimes I'll accuse him of cheating because we don't have sex that often and i ll say its not normal for a guy not to want to have sex!!

I would have more than a few resentments, and if this happened often enough, no amount of sex would be worth putting up with th behavior.

[slapshot_oi]

I think everyone feels different about how? when? what is? or isn't acceptable in a relationship. I don't think anyone should really put a time frame on it because what feels attractive to one person after a year may not be necessarily the same way another may feel and if u can do something in the beginning why not do it at a later time.

Don't take it the wrong way, I was just giving my personal reflection.

I'm certain your ferocity just scares him. He knows you're upset and unsatisfied with your dead sex-life, and you even told him how unmanly asexuality is (daggers in the heart). He probably thinks you're cheating on him; the trust in your relationship is or will go out the window. Be careful.

I understand your frustration as I've been there before, and in the end it just didn't work out. But, I've also had a girlfriend who wanted sex all the time, and later on I came to find out that it went beyond that. She just needed attention all the time (is this you?), it drained me and at the end of the day I couldn't have sex with her and she belched the same stuff your saying now about attraction and even accused me of cheating. I tried explaining to her that I need time alone to recharge and she just didn't get it.

[polish princess]

Wow maybe you 're right maybe I do push too much and put too much pressure on him and it just turns him off, and yes I like getting his attention sometimes I can get a little to "grrrr" and I have accused him of cheating before which I know he wouldn't do. I do want us to work out because he is a great guy. ANd sometimes I do get cruel and mean.

So I would think one good solution is to talk about it not use it against him. I totally respect all the advice and answers I have been getting, I'm just wondering on how we can have a fun sex talk without getting to serious cause I know that if its to serious it would just cause stress and that feeling of anxiety!