[starbuck8]

lol i did not intend to choose the name starbucks to confuse you.... that was just what i was drinking at the time when i picked the name. It also cost some dollar amount and 21 cents.

But you can be starby....

No problem. It just gets confusing at times! ;)

[Alty]

Starby, had to spread the rep, but I love your post, very kind, caring, accurate advice. :)

[Chery]

If this is the first time that you've 'felt' stress in your life, you really have to consider yourself lucky. We've all have some amount of stress in our lives, i.e. new schools, new neighborhood and friends, new family members, mom and dad splitting up, etc. Well you name it, it has happened and since we are warmblooded emotional human beings, these things just don't happen and leave us cold.

Sometimes, all these things added up, when we've ignored them so long, will eventually 'gang' up on us and then, bam! - we are hit with something we cannot understand and it drags us down so low that we don't know what to do anymore. Well, honey, it's OK.. just try and think back on all the things that bothered you and take care of one issue at a time, let it bring out anger, frustrations, or any other emotion you need to feel.. then talk to someone about it - even with us here. There is no need at all to keep things to yourself and think that you can 'handle' it.

When faced with any issues that bothers us, don't keep it inside, face it and work on it and then go forward from there. Don't forget to get help - there is nothing at all to be ashamed of there - that's what all the help groups and professionals are here for.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

[IMG]file:///C:/Program%20Files/PostSmile/Packs/Marine/57.gif[/IMG]

Never stop looking at the bright side whenever possible - don't lose yourself.

[random_chick]

My mom and dad have split up. It isent the first time I have been stressed. Thank you for your advice

[Jake2008]

Depression in teenagers is one of the things that is underdiagnosed, and misdirected simply because parents and therapists often think 'its just the teenage years', and somehow the behaviour is normal.

Many times it is, but prolonged feelings of worthlessness, sadness, excessive sleeping, eating or not eating, withdrawal from everyday normal routines and friends, and otherwise slipping constantly into depression, over a long period, is not normal.

Situational depression or depression that naturally follows the death of a loved one, or a major upset in life and that has a cause, will not generally change an otherwise functioning individual, into someone who thinks of death and dying as a solution.

Thoughts of suicide does not necessarily mean that a person will actually do it, but it is certainly a red flag, and goes beyond 'normal' feeling blue. Cutting is an expression of severe emotional pain desperate for release.

While I respect all the opinions here, I do urge you also get a complete physical, and start with your family doctor. Be honest with how the depression is affecting your life, and the thoughts you have. Only then will you be on the path to healing. If it is clinical depression, treatment is the only way to go.

[kp2171]

Sorry to hear it. Been there, done that.

I know there's all kinds of stereotypes about what it means to be a teenager... mood swings... angst... etc. well, the truth is, no matter how much it doesn't make you feel better, there's good reason for it.

Take any "stable" adult... put them in a place where their physical appearance is changing, friends are changing, social construct is changing, and hormones are fluctuating like mad... even the most grounded person would struggle, suffer, and hurt.

The hormone changes alone can make an otherwise grounded person feel off balance. As much as its easy to just assign "typical teenage" behavior as a rebellious rage, a push for self identity, or whatever other label we want to throw on it... there are real physiological issues at hand... meaning chemical "imbalances"... not just inexperience and less perspective.

Add into that the extreme highs and lows tied to relationship interests... and all the hurt that comes with learning how to like others, accept rejection, how to learn that failed relationships teach you about your needs and set you up for better relationships...

Its just a lot to ask of anyone.

I think I was just out of college... graduated... employed... things were rolling along fairly well... but there was still some uncertainty about what I was doing (was it the right thing for me)... uncertainty about love (two big loves lost... what am I doing "wrong"?)... when I asked my mother "do you ever feel your age"?

And she smiled a little and said "no" without any hesitation.

We learn from our experiences. We hopefully make better choices over time. But it was both comforting and a little disconcerning to hear what she said.

The good news was that, even if she grew up in a different time, with different stressors... I understood that she understood where I was. Shed been there before herself. As a teen, I never felt like her experience was applicable to me. Well, it was. Read the threads here and you will see 35 year olds struggling with the same noise that 15 year olds do... just different scenarios and setups... but some of the same, basic, human struggles we all deal with.

The frustrating part of this was to not take it as "is this never going to get better?!"

I think it does. Its just you can experience some really bad times along the way.

Some of my biggest heartbreaks taught me how to love better. Sure... it sucked for far too long... but eventually I was able to move on and figure some things out.

My parents separating... the death of my grandfather (my father figure growing up)... the loss of a good friend... all of these things challenged me mentally, sometimes knocked me flat on my back.

So... all this noise I've written... guess its just to say many of us have been there too, in some way or form. That might not make you feel less alone in your darkest moments... but the reality is you are stronger than you think you are.

I really believe that.

[rainbowreedbr]

Yes, it can. Stress sucks!

[Ging1994]

Yes it can also cause weight gain or loss ansomnia many things best thing is to manage it

[random_chick]

Thank you for your help. But I don't want to tell my mom or dad about it because they will have ago at me fornslittin my wrists. If I told the doctor would he have to tell my parents??

[Jake2008]

Random_chick,

If you have already slit your wrists, that red flag just turned into a big flashing light to me.

When you cross that line of thinking about it, to actually harming yourself, it is time to get yourself to a doctor, or clinic, or counsellor of some kind, even an anonymous source such as a kid's help line.

The worry about your parents finding out is secondary to where you are heading right now. It doesn't matter that they find out, you are in serious trouble here, and although you're coping from day to day, you are not coping well.

You are inches away from help. You may think this will pass, but it won't, as nothing is solved. I don't know where you are, but if you can give me that information, I will find places for you.

The biggest mistake you can make right now is not helping yourself.

[starbuck8]

Sweetheart, you really do need to do what "Jake2008" said and talk to someone! This will not get better on it's own. You need help to deal with this. You're obviously upset about your parents getting divorced. Do you blame yourself for that happening? Because if you do, I can tell you right now without a word of a lie, it is NOT your fault! Your parents are the adults, and these are their problems... many of which you may not even know about. Are you afraid that if you talk to your parents about how you are feeling, that it will add to their problems? Please don't worry about this. Their worst problem would be not to have their daughter! I know they would want to help you with what you are dealing with.

If you just can't bring yourself to tell them, then you really do need to tell someone. A school counsellor, a therapist in your area, a friends mom, an aunt, or just anyone who you trust. Also, as "Jake2008" said, if you can tell us your area, we will try and find you numbers you can call. You don't have to give us this info on the board. You can PM us, and you don't have to give specific info, just your area. Also take a look in your phone book. (or 411) You should be able to find the Kids Help Line, or a Crisis or Suicide Help Line. Please call one of these places for help. Hurting yourself will solve nothing honey! I know it feels hopeless right now, but it doesn't always have to feel that way.

Please keep on talking with us. Next time you feel like hurting yourself, call someone or come here and talk to us okay? We do care!

[random_chick]

Yh I have always thought that it was my fault. I told my dad and he said I can't be depressed so I told my best friend who then told me to speak to her mom about it and her mom has been a real help as well as you on here. I live in wolverhamton.

[qween bee]

Yes, it deff can. I actually went through depression. Like I was diaqnosed w/. It and had to take medsz because of all the stress my mom was causinq. Trust me the last thinq you want is depression. Try surroundinq yourself around positive thinqs. Qet rid of the stress you have. Try doinq a sport or some type of activity to take your mind off whatever is stressinq you. [i took kick boxinq] well hope everythinq works out. If you have any questions, feel free to askk :]

[random_chick]

Thank you