[peacelover]

Hi zeeniee, you are right about not worrying about what he thinks but I can't help but have a little hope he might want to rectify.. He is in his 30's and I really wish he was ready... Thingks were so good right before he pushed to propose and then it seems like ti went downhill.. But eithe rway I won't keep contact with him and if and when he realizes he does, it not then I guess it was never meant to be... right? I am sorry for the heartache you been through zeeniee, I hope things are better for you now!

[zeeniee]

Hey Peacelover,

Hope is such a b*tch sometimes!!

I too had hopes- somedays it was the only thing that kept me in one peace- and other days it was that very hope that killed me inside again and again.

Best thing is to take things one step at a time and believe that something's will sort itself out! Time will speak- I did for me- I waited in hope for a while (like an idiot) and then when my ex came- he was like a tornado- time def spoke.

Things are still v hard for me- but you just have to get going somehow- somedays you do and somedays you dont- right now I have to divide by day into 4 at the moment to get thru- not much fun, but hopefully it will get better as so many people have said that to me- so fingerscrossed x

[peacelover]

Thank you for your feedback! Appreciate it, its comforting to know that someone else who's been through it knows the pain you are going through, although I don’t want you to feel the pain, its reassuring... I just hope I can get over this and move past it.. Its hard and bothersome to think about it but I am sure its doable.. I want him to realize his flaws and mistakes, he always ran from any sort of confrontation.. Did your ex come back to you after the break up? How long were you broken up for?

[zeeniee]

My ex has not come back to me- ie: to get back together, but came back to Singapore with his new chick (one he cheated with whilst we were together) 3-4 months after the break up (see post for details- not v nice)... basically it was HELL and I sadly saw a very unpleasant side to him. It was a shame to see him this way- as he never was like that with me- I guess since he met this girl- he has changed- sadly for a worse person. We had two conversation- first one was a mess, basically he has not realised the pain and misery he caused, nor has he realised how selfish, heartless and insenstive he was being. The second conversation lasted 5-10mins where I told him I wanted a clean break. That was v hard for me to do- I think I died all over again that night.

[miketkong]

Yeah, that sounds like it was an extremely difficult situation to go through, but one that from my point of view sounds like an easy choice. You gave him plenty of chances to show that he really loved you and he didn't. He also sounds extremely controlling and manipulative and it's easy for me to see that you really were in prison. So should you expect him to come back to his senses? No way. He blew it too many times too many ways for that. You can fantasize about each other being "meant to be" but it really seems like that would only be true if you were "meant to be" miserable together.