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TrueFaith · Dec 19, 2008, 10:19 PM

you don't need girlfriends to have a great holiday..

The less we need.. the more we get

and that goes with everything in life.

It's a shame but hey I'm alone for christmass as well. You think that's going to stop me from having fun?

Hell no!

Even if I have to stay up all night telling myself 1980s joke. I'm going to do it.

you are not the only one feeling like this ;)
but don't let these feelings own you.
you are in control

Make an effort! To make this X-mass the best one you have ever had.

411Help · Dec 20, 2008, 10:42 AM

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My girlfriend and I broke up a couple days ago. ITS HARD.. VERY HARD.. especially during the holidays. All I can tell you is it's going to get better over time... Even though I can't sleep, I miss her, and I start to blame myself. I know I need to move on. And that's what you need to do.

GO OUT WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

boatbuilder · Jan 8, 2009, 09:41 PM

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me last month and since then I have only sent her a merry christmas text which I sent to everyone. Last week on new years she calls me twice at 2am and never talked to me, I sent her a message asking why she called me and she gave me no response, I know she was drunk but why would she call. Then last night on my AIM I left a message that said I was going to the hospital in the morning and 10 minutes later she left a message asking if I was OK. She knows that its been hard for me to get over her , why would she do this? I'm trying to keep my distance

BlackVY · Jan 8, 2009, 09:48 PM

Keep trying... No contact means NO CONTACT...

No exceptions, no contact and that's it... Be strong... Don't give in...

talaniman · Jan 9, 2009, 12:21 AM

I'm trying to keep my distance

Try harder, and keep trying.

expat2009 · Jan 9, 2009, 12:59 AM

Remove her from AIM and any social sites. The less you know the better--believe me. The longer you go on NC the better you will feel.

NorthernNiceGuy · Jan 9, 2009, 09:37 AM

Seems like she tried once on new years where you assumed she was drunk...

You then proceeded to send her a message and then IM her...

Just leave it alone my friend, she didn't leave a message and didn't try again so it meant nothing.

I know your mind wonders but you have to push that aside. This wasn't an attempt to reconcile I assure you that!

elizhuie · Jan 9, 2009, 10:36 AM

After four years my married ex called and wants back. Now I called to check in and won't call me back. Why did he do this to me. I hurt all over again. He blames me for the break up, even though I aplogized and tried to get back together, he ended up meeting some one else and getting married. I feel really guilty that I lost him, but once I made the mistalke , nothing I could do but apologize. He quit. So, now I am hurt. So he calls me, and now won't call. And I REALLY HURT. PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP. I blame myself for being alone.

kctiger · Jan 9, 2009, 10:48 AM

Elizhuie: Post your own question on the forum, not on this thread. You will solicite more responses that way.

Boatbuilder: Your ex is clearly under the impression she has the power, as she knows how hard it is for you to get over you. Change your phone number, and get the power back in your hands. Do not read anything into her random drunk dial.

MiSSsy111222 · Jan 9, 2009, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by elizhuie

After four years my married ex called and wants back. Now I called to check in and won't call me back. Why did he do this to me. I hurt all over again. He blames me for the break up, even though I aplogized and tried to get back together, he ended up meeting some one else and getting married. I feel really guilty that I lost him, but once I made the mistalke , nothing I could do but apologize. He quit. So, now I am hurt. So he calls me, and now won't call. And I REALLY HURT. PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP. I blame myself for being alone.

Don't feel guilty, he lost you! It was wrong for him ask for you back now, then cut contact again. He has resurfaced all those emotions again. Its been 4years, you survived without him, you can doit again. And you won't be alone forever. You have much support on the site.

Romefalls19 · Jan 9, 2009, 11:34 AM

Delete her contact information from any thing you have her stored in. Trust me this will do wonders for recovery

asking · Jan 9, 2009, 12:17 PM

You'd have to be a hard case to not respond to someone saying they were going into the hospital. You made her contact you that time.

ja77 · Jan 9, 2009, 12:22 PM

No contact means no contact so you should not be leaving ims for her.

I agree with the post above - saying your going into hospital - would lead her to contact you.

Just because people split up does not mean they lose the caring feeling for someone, but you must understand that is different to loving someone.

You manipulated what was happening by sending that IM, block her from your ims and email etc and maybe think about changing phone numbers to remove that part away too.

ITstudent2006 · Jan 9, 2009, 12:24 PM

Everyone is telling you to NC.
But is this what you want?
Is this women worth another heartbreak and attempt to reconcile?
If you still have feelings for her then you must decide whether to act upon those feelings and possible suffer some more.
There is a chance she is still thinking about you because we all know when we're drunk we do things from the heart! Say things we mean but wouldn't say sover, do things we want but wouldn't when sober. But also sometimes we over react! ( so I guess I just circled myself LOL)
This is a question only you can answer! I wish you the best of luck!

boatbuilder · Jan 11, 2009, 08:49 AM

I have to correct myself, the AIM message was an away message saying that I had to go to the hospital in the morning

ja77 · Jan 11, 2009, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by boatbuilder

i have to correct myself, the AIM message was an away message saying that i had to go to the hospital in the morning

If you really want no contact you need to block her on you aim settings so she can not see anything you put and you can not see anything that she puts.

I understand what you are saying but no contact means blocking her on settings.

kctiger · Jan 11, 2009, 09:03 AM

No Contact means she is dead to you! She shouldn't even have a way to get ah old of you. You ever seen that movie Eraser, with Governor Arnold? That is exactly what happens with NC. Everything about her is erased from your life, and vice versa. No excuses. Your heart deserves this.

jlh76 · Jan 11, 2009, 09:33 AM

I see this NC thing over and over and I have to ask, why? I thought if the dumper tried to make contact that put it in a different playing field. Seems all the answers are NC regardless of it being a complete break up or a temporary "break" to try to bring oneself out of depression. I just don't get it. What if he truly loves her and she has came to her senses? If he continues NC won't he always be stuck wondering "what if"?

boatbuilder · Jan 14, 2009, 04:45 PM

Next week I go back to school and by then it will have been a month and a half since she broke up with me. I want to make her jealous and kind of regret breaking up with me. Does anybody have any ideas how I should do this ?

Synnen · Jan 14, 2009, 04:49 PM

By being happy with who you are and what you're doing.

REALLY happy, not just faking it happy.