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    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
    Ultra Member
     
    #21

    Dec 20, 2008, 08:16 AM

    You say you have goals,what are they as he doesn't seem to share them with you.

    I say set a boundary and explain the results of overstepping that set rule, if he continues to do whatever he wants to do,seriously consider leaving the marriage.

    He seems to not want to grow up and you have other goals for a future,if his ambition is to play games and stay in a minimum wage job,it's up to you to make him see the folly of this.That is IF you want to keep the marriage going.

    Hope this helped,

    KBC
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #22

    Dec 20, 2008, 08:39 AM
    >Threads Merged<
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #23

    Dec 20, 2008, 10:06 AM

    No wonder the sex has suffered, as in your original post, as sex is seldom the main problem, but a symptom of a greater issue that needs to be dealt with.

    Since it seems the communication has broken down, and the name calling, and bad behavior has started, it is important to stand up for yourself, and make an alternative plan, which also means some time away from him.

    Take a break, to work out how you want to proceed, and deal with this behavior in a way, that gives you peace of mind, and your own dignity back.

    And no, you have nothing to explain at this time, just do for yourself, and let him figure it out. Let your actions speak for you.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #24

    Dec 20, 2008, 09:57 PM

    It doesn't get any better. I just got out of the same type of relationship. I love him to death but it was just getting worse and worse. He wasn't in to porn but I swear he had to been into crack or something. At first he was very devoted and everything I could ever want. Then as with all guys that I ever dated after about three or four months he turned into a dr Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. The sex didn't go downhill because there never was any. He claims he is e rectal d isfunctional. I think it's a result of the drugs. At first if he was doing them he had it down to a bare minimum to where you couldn't tell but by the past two months he acts sneaky, never comes around, has tons of excuses, tries to make me out to be the bad guy and he blows his entire pay within 30 hours. He treated me like he adored me at first and then he started treating me like dirt and calling me stupid and all kinds of names. The verbal abuse got worse and I am not one to put up with verbal abuse at all. I told him repeatedly that all he had to do was treat me with respect and be responsible. He kept telling me he would but it just went in a vicious circle. I talk to him he straightens out for three days, forth day back to the same old mess.
    So what I am telling you is it only gets worse.
    Get out while you can.

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