Is it me or is it him?

Inaru · Dec 17, 2008, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by juhi2011

oops...this is so confusing dear. first tell me r you in school ....i mean wat's ur age??

Yeah, I'm a senior in high school. Eighteen years old. They're both in school and eighteen also.

juhi2011 · Dec 17, 2008, 09:55 PM

U have got a long life ahead... y do you want to indulge yourself into some commitments at such an early age... it is possible that in coming future u'll find someone more interesting than these both.

Well for now I'll suggest you that don't be committed to nyone.. make both of them your good friends... and as far as your boyfriend is concerned even if he cries don't give weight to it.. coz boys can nyways handle themselves quite well.

Be with the one you love. But I can Guarantee that your friend (nt bf) will cheat on you in coming future.

Well what I can see is that it is going to be a third fellow in coming future and none of the existing one's

Tkcre...

N0help4u · Dec 18, 2008, 04:40 AM

You should not stay with somebody because they guilt you into it.
You could be passing up the right one and settling for somebody that you may never be happy with.

chrissymarie · Dec 18, 2008, 05:01 PM

1st of all you cheated on your boyfriend and you need to come clean. Just because he doesn't know that doesn't mean it won't hurt him. If your truly worried about his feelings you need to come clean because if he has to hear from someone else like your estranged best friend you cheated on him with he'll be devastated. It doesn't really seem like you have the choice to choose between the 2 because the relationship your in is a unfaithful one.

Re-kindle your flame with your best friend. If you could cheat on your current boyfriend you don't love him as much as you think you do and you should probably stop wasting his and your time staying together.

He may be hurt in the beginning but once he knows the truth and you 2 officially break up his healing process will begin and he will be fine.

SimpleguyJoe · Dec 18, 2008, 08:32 PM

Yes cheating is the red headed step child of relationships and I also agree that you should come clean. But if you do, do it with full knowledge that it will most likely destroy the relationship with your BF of 5 years (you guys were going out at 13?! ).

On the other hand if you don't pick one of them and stick to your guns I think you will lose them both, You asked if you "made the right decision." That's something only YOU can answer. Feelings change, they become stronger and weaker then stronger again. So make up your mind and stick to your guns,

I also agree with N0help4u because you have to follow your heart. Don't pass something up out of obligation.

kristenicole24 · Dec 18, 2008, 08:43 PM

Wow I have totally been in your position... but honestly if you have feelings for your friend stonger feelings then maybe he deserves a chance I mean you probably gave your boyfriend many chances... people only change for so long then they go back to their old way. And once you fall for someone else its really hard to be with someone who just makes you feel blank at times... you could wind up hurting yourself more than ever but also you are young too. Maybe taking some time away from both of them to clear your head wouldn't hurt... but once you decide you love someone else its really hard to go back to the old relationship you had... with your boyfriend.

Do what makes you happy and sometimes in life hurting someone else is what has to happen you can't suffer forever. And don't beat yourself up over your choices... its your life and your young.. you have forever to get married.

Be with who you TRULY love.

Inaru · Apr 28, 2009, 08:50 PM

Threads merged

What should you do if your boyfriend isn't talking to you and won't tell you why he's upset with you?

Jake2008 · Apr 28, 2009, 09:35 PM

Maybe he just can't get the words out.

Why not try emailing him, or sending him a text. Make him a nice dinner. You could even do the old fashioned thing and write to him.

He will most likely come around sooner rather than later, you can maybe just use a little creativity to make it the former rather than the latter.

Good luck.

Sphira · Apr 29, 2009, 05:29 AM

I agree
Give him some time and he might come around but other wise just ask are you OK and if he just ignors you he may think you've done something but if it's a healthy relationship your two should be open about your feelings

Give him some space sweetie he'll come around :)

artlady · Apr 29, 2009, 05:46 AM

I would say to him*I can't help you to fix the problem if I don't know what it is,so when you are ready to tell me I will listen*.
Then I would give him space and wait for him to open up.

I wish · Apr 29, 2009, 06:19 AM

He sounds very emotional to me. It seems like he's waiting for you to guess what's wrong with him instead of him telling you directly. It's never fun to play mind games.

There's no point for you to sit around and guess what's wrong with him. I think the best is to give him time to come around Let him know that you can fix the problem if you don't even know what the problem is. And let him know that when he's ready to talk, you'll be there.

Inaru · Apr 29, 2009, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

He sounds very emotional to me. It seems like he's waiting for you to guess what's wrong with him instead of him telling you directly. It's never fun to play mind games.

There's no point for you to sit around and guess what's wrong with him. I think the best is to give him time to come around Let him know that you can fix the problem if you don't even know what the problem is. And let him know that when he's ready to talk, you'll be there.

This sounds very accurate. Lol I'm giving him some space for now. Thanks.

shazamataz · Apr 30, 2009, 06:08 AM

It's usually the girls that give the silent treatment.

I wish was spot on :)

Inaru · May 13, 2009, 03:06 PM

Hello... me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 years. He's my first and I'm his. A while ago, we started having problems and I started to like one of my friends who liked me. I posted some questios about that issue already, but a couple days ago, my friend and I had a moment that made me decide I'd be happier with him than with my boyfriend. Next day, I did something really stupid... and it probably just made it worse... well, here goes...
Yesterday, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. I really love him, but I thought I'd be happier with my friend since my boyfriend just... didn't seem to work with me 65 percent of the time. It didn't turn out how I planned, I wanted to tell him I'm not happy and he blew his last chance, but he wouldn't let me leave. Now this is the part I regret, but people told me that I should come clean so... I told him there was someone else. He seemed calm about it until he called me later. He yelled at me and said stuff like "I can't believe you!" well, at this time, I was really scared and I thought we were over so I texted my friend saying I broke up with him and he told his friends! Later my boyfriend calmed down and we ended up not breaking up because I just couldn't take it and how he thought he wouldn't find anyone else. Today, my friend thought I was single and I felt terrible and didn't get the chance to tell him that we didn't split. He saw me sitting with my boyfriend and he got upset. THEN my boyfriend gets mad again because someone told him that I told my friend we broke up! So now they're both mad at me! I can't freakin take it, it hurts like a ! Someone help me!

N0help4u · May 13, 2009, 05:00 PM

You need to explain to the whole thing to the new guy or else move on, don't go backwards and get back with your boyfriend.

Just because your ex didn't accept that you didn't split doesn't mean you didn't split.
He was just trying to hold on to something that was over. So unless you were hugging and kissing on him when the new guy saw you sitting with him and the new guy can't see that he was still trying to hold on and you were explaining that you were through then he isn't worth it either.

I wish · May 14, 2009, 06:21 AM

You need to pick one and decide.

You got to remember that the trust is really shaken with your current boyfriend. He's going to have this fear of another guy all the time. It doesn't sound like you like your boyfriend enough to be with him. You're just trying to save face by not breaking up with him. That's not fair to him. That's being selfish. Come clean with your boyfriend.

As for the new guy, you got to hold out before being with him. He's going to be a rebound guy. That's not fair to him either.

You got to stop being selfish and worrying about your imagine.

Break up with your current boyfriend. Stay single until you recover from the break up, and then consider the new guy.

talaniman · May 15, 2009, 07:07 AM

Are you crazy! This guy thinks he OWNS you, and your letting it happen.

Tell him to kiss your arse and leave you alone. DO IT!

Xx_gir_girl_xX · May 15, 2009, 09:55 AM

dude that must suck.......flipping crap....i would not like to be in ur shoes right now...

The Dark09 · May 15, 2009, 10:00 AM

I agree with talaniman, he's right.

I wish · May 20, 2009, 11:53 AM

The fact that you don't have feelings for him anymore is already going to break his heart.

Do yourself and him a favor and don't drag this out anymore. Let him know how you feel and make it a clean break. There's nothing you can say that will make it easier on him, it just doesn't work that way.