[JudyKayTee]

Well, my cousin got the temporary protection order granted yesterday and they go to court in the beginning of November. She also went to the police department and got all of the reports from when the police have gone out to her house for domestic violence. She is also working on filing for divorce and getting his criminal records. I am not sure if she is going to bring up the drug issue, but it is in his police reports. He has failed two drug tests with cocaine while he was on probation. So, it is there and his PO is going to be calling him in sometime this week to drug test him again. Thanks for everyone's help. Have a good week.

You have no idea how many post, get advice, do nothing, post again 6 months later. It is SO gratifying to find out that someone actually immediately went out and got something done!

Wonderful. Let us know how it works out.

[ANB428]

Oh, and about the pubic hair test. I have never heard of that either, that is just weird. And about supervised visitations, she should get them granted. The only person in his family who would be able to supervise the visitation is his grandmother and she is controlled by him. She does whatever he tells her to do. She even helped him run from the law last time he got in trouble and the only reason that she cooperated was because they told her she would go to jail. But, I wouldn't put it past her to take her grandson and the kid and take off and move to antoher state. So, that wouldn't be a possibility.

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
ANB428 agrees: I am very proud of her.She has left him like 5 times before and has gone back. But hopefully this will be the last time. When I left my abuser I left and never looked back and I hope that she can do the same. I will be there to help her the whole way.[/QUOTE]



There is another thread going on, being posted by a daughter whose mother is abused, the mother keeps going back and the daughter doesn't know what to do. I agree with you - without someone there, holding you up, supporting you, loving YOU, no matter what, it's very, very difficult to go.

[ScottGem]

about supervised visitations, she should get them granted. The only person in his family who would be able to supervise the visitation is his grandmother and she is controlled by him. She does whatever he tells her to do. She even helped him run from the law last time he got in trouble and the only reason that she cooperated was because they told her she would go to jail. But, i wouldn't put it past her to take her grandson and the kid and take off and move to antoher state. So, that wouldn't be a possibility.

If they apply for supervised visitation, ask the court to appoint a supervisor.

[ScottGem]

Whether you are correct about pubic hairs or not I'm not going to argue. But I will argue that collection of test material has to be done by someone assigned by the court. That person will decide how to collect a sample and what sample to collect. And that's why your answer about pubic hairs was not appropriate

[Defendant66]

Never underestimate the cunning of an abusive guy (or woman for that matter) The victims wait for the good behavior periods and after all the ups and downs they go through with these types of people, reality takes a back seat.

They look at these relationships and they see what it could be "if only" he would change.

If only he would love her.
If only he could get clean.
If only he could...

Women will come and go many, many times in these types of relationships. They base their esteem and personal approval on this guy... it's so deeply imbedded that it's difficult for them to understand what normal can be like. (never mind that "normal" is different for everyone.)

I would suggest that you have your friend write out a journal of all the things that he put her through. ALL OF THEM... so when she weakens and starts to feel lonely or he turns on the charm or starts showing back up... using what he knows about her to get back in... she can go back and read what she wrote...

See... they think, maybe this time he can change... maybe "this time"... they have no clear boundaries and usually they are afraid to make a change. Depending on how violent this person is.

It's not an easy thing to comprehend why they stay... I wish your friend LOADS of luck remaining out of her relationship and would strongly suggest that she get counselling. Because part of the problem "IS" her...

You understand? I hope so... she needs help as well to learn to define herself and her life. What is acceptable behavior to her, how she wishes to be treated, what her tolerations are going to be "otherwise" she could very well repeat the pattern of another guy like this.

Sincerely.

[JudyKayTee]

Supervised visitation is often a county by county issue. In the county in which I live, they had to charge the parent $25 for supervised visitation and quit doing it because not all parents could afford it.

{unnecessary attacks deleted-<>}

As far as any hair being tested - anyone can shave their hair anywhere on the body and many men with balding spots do shave their head regularly or people keep their hair cut short enough that the hair is only 6 to 8 months old on the end tips.

Pubic hair has long been considered better for drug testing because they stay attached for around 2 years on average providing a better test for the majority of the population. If they save it - they shave it - but the same is true for the hair on their head.

This is my experience with the Texas courts and my friends in law enforcement at the FBI nationally and within Texas as well as child protective services in Texas.

What is your source for pubic hair lomg being considered better for drug testing, other than the statements of your friends?

I worked for the Feds and I never heard of the FBI doing any type of hair follicle testing - but perhaps that's different in different types of the country.

[J_9]

Tracy has seemed to take over the entire post again with his/her ranting. Again, this is another closed post.