[Fr_Chuck]

Please understand and give your answers to a minor child. 14 is not legal age to even be having sex to start with.

Several answers advocating sex for a 14 year have been deleted

[te_te]

You are too young but it d hurt kind of

[J_9]

As stated DrLang, and I would like to know what form of medicine you DO practice, the major problem we as supermoderators and administrators of the site had with your post was that you were preaching proper arousal and lubrication to this youngster.

Now, I know for a fact that teaching abstinence is like hitting your head against a brick wall, but it should still be taught. To these youngsters posting, they need to learn the health risks of teen pregnancy on their bodies as well as the bodies of the children they may carry. Are you familiar with those health risks? I am, as a labor and delivery nurse I see it every night that I work.

So rather than teaching strictly abstinence, or lubrication and arousal, how about the real teaching. Teaching the risks that these girls are taking with their lives and with their health.

[J_9]

It's important that you are aroused and producing lubrication. It's also important to relax.

Please read my answer above. Teaching abstinence is only ONE way to be teaching these children. We also need to be TEACHING the health risks involved with children of any age having sexual relations.

The quote above is what began the original problem here, not abstinence, not birth control.

[DrLang]

Please read my answer above. Teaching abstinence is only ONE way to be teaching these children. We also need to be TEACHING the health risks involved with children of any age having sexual relations.

I agree. But just as we teach youth to not consume alcohol and we teach them the health risks of consuming alcohol, we also teach them that if they do consume alcohol, for the love of god don't drive. This is not endorsing underage drinking, this is giving them the information they need to stay as safe as they can if they decide to go against our advice.

[jrsg]

I agree. But just as we teach youth to not consume alcohol and we teach them the health risks of consuming alcohol, we also teach them that if they do consume alcohol, for the love of god don't drive. This is not endorsing underage drinking, this is giving them the information they need to stay as safe as they can if they decide to go against our advice.

Great analogy,
And I completely agree with it. I tried to greenie you, Dr.L, but it wouldn't let me. GREAT analogy!

But yeah,
Kids are going to have sex. I don't like it. Parents don't like it. Most adults don't like it. BUT GUESS WHAT! IT HAPPENS! We have to teach them the "ifs." Some of the posts advising on sex is not necessarily endorsing or encouraging it, but just teaching.

That drinking and driving analogy explains this point of view perfectly.

[lunapotter]

Too young don't try it.it's for married people so you really don't need to know just yet

[jrsg]

too young dont try it.it's for married people so you realy dont need to know just yet

Too young, yes, I agree.

It's for married people? I won't try to change your mind on that, because it is religious views, and I respect that. But I have not met anyone who has married a virgin. It is hardly an activity the is exclusive to married couples.

And, "You don't need to know just yet." I disagree with you here. But, there are many issues with what age to begin teaching sex-ed. Personally, I think if she is thinking about it, and asking questions, it is time for her to know.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

too young dont try it.it's for married people so you realy dont need to know just yet

Also, should we not teach children this age about birth control and condoms because they are too young to be having sex? No, we need to teach them how to protect themselves to prevent teenaged pregnancy.

[Katie-Rose]

its does hurt but like I know everyone says it but its true, don't let him pressure you into it, it happened to me and I massivly regret it so please don't be pressured in to it, just make sure your 100% ready x]
and remember the only safe sex is no sex

[SweetDee]

I know a girl that had sex when she JUST turned 14 and now everyone thinks she's a slut because it got out and everyone found out... like her peers told people and they told people, etc...

She is NOT a slut... she was in love w/ that boy and still is.

Unfortunately in high school or even middle school, you are not who you think you are... you are what OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE.. that's why it's so important to put your reputation above all else... no matter how you feel about a boy.

14 is too young for sex anyhow, I mean EMOTIONALLY. Anyone can do it, it's not a complicated task... it's just for girls it's emotional and for boys it's physical.

Girls want boys to love them, so sometimes they do things that they are not really ready for just to keep a boy. Oral sex is on the list of things a girl might do to keep a boy.

Boys want sex, not love. If they find love then it's a bonus, but they can't stay in love for long... (I'm talking statistically here. More boys rather than less, are INCAPABLE of falling in love between the ages of 13-18).

Boys are physical, girls are emotional. Girls get all deep about the boy they like. Boys get all "Oooohhhh, she's so hhotttt!" about the girl they like.

It's not any deeper for teenager boys...

Girls just need to protect their hearts... and if that means keeping "chast", (remaining a virgin.. ), then SO BE IT.

Who's going to protect you from getting hurt? YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU, of course.

Sex hurts physically sometimes... but your heart will BREAK if the boy just wanted to get his rocks off!

BE SELFISH..

[jaime90]

14 is too young. I first had sex a little over a month ago with my only partner of over a year now. A lot of things factor into how much it hurts. For me, the first time was terrible. It hurt so bad. I actually started crying and I've never cried from pain. But even though it hurt, I insisted that we kept going. He felt a little guilty though, which of course made me feel bad. You shouldn't have sex, you should wait.

[SweetDee]

Hey jaime90, you want to share how old you are? And your post is very honest and brave to share...

[JonGram]

Lollol ask your parents or your friends, o_o I think the internet is the best place to ask questions because no one knows you but, you have to get your facts strait and go to the source, you parents, it can be a littl akward but you will know, and if your trying to avoid telling your parents I don't know what to do.

[Bonita--]

It hurts a lot. Well, it depends on the girl I guess, but I think most girls would agree with me that it hurts. For me, the first time was very painful. I spent most of my time crying lol. However, if you are 14 and you plan on having sex I suggest you wait. I made the mistake of having sex for the first time at 15 years old and I regret it very much, and all of my girl friends who made the same mistake also regret it. You're still a child and when you're older and you realize that, you'll wish that you waited.

[SweetDee]

Bonita, good for you for telling of your experience.

It's tough making the right decision when you are so young and having feelings for a boy... there's so much pressure to do it.

Also, you feel so mature at which ever age your at because you've never been older... it's an illusion tho' because if you wait and then look back at your age... you quickly realize that when you were 15 you REALLY WERE so young and immature.. and then you're like SUPER HAPPY that you didn't have sex!

[jaime90]

I'm 18 years old.

[Bural21]

Having sex for the first time was the most painful experience I have ever engaged in. Personally, I don't regret the experience. I love the person very much. I still have trouble having sex today, I'm also a very small framed girl. So, to ease my experience my boyfriend and I do more foreplay then anything else because your body then naturally relaxes. Using extra lubricant can cause it so there's less friction, which is nice. Luckily, your body and brain tend to block out the memory of pain. I know it hurt me, but I don't know what to compare it to.

[kroderus]

I meant to say isn't your age, not is your age

[Alty]

It hurts a lot, really, really badly, at least at 14. At 21 it doesn't hurt as much. ;)