[asking]

Yeah, I agree with JB to just make the good bye as pleasant as possible. No more excuses and accusations flying. Just be polite and say good bye.

It's understandable and healthy to not want to dwell on the good parts right now, but don't erase it all from your heart. Even a relationship that ends badly, and should end, had some good in it.

[shaunaleverett]

Yeah, I agree with JB to just make the good bye as pleasant as possible. No more excuses and accusations flying. Just be polite and say good bye.

It's understandable and healthy to not want to dwell on the good parts right now, but don't erase it all from your heart. Even a relationship that ends badly, and should end, had some good in it.

yeah... its just so hard to keep it together right now...
he called me... and I can't stop crying.. but I am trying to keep it somewhat together..

its just difficult.. ="(

because like you said.. I got to be polite and calm.. but I cant...

I can't do calm...
as soon as I got off the phone I broke down...
he's pulling the nice card and ordering me food to be deliverd at my work..

[JBeaucaire]

It's totally fine for you to feel the pain of this reality. It is what it is. Don't let anyone, including yourself, beat you up for your emotional response. Let it happen.

Feel it as long as you have to. In the end, this is the stuff that makes you stronger, wiser, lets you stand taller next time because you're better prepared.

Nothing is as educational as experience. We give advice here hoping to help in the aftermath, but you are the one being burned in the fires of learning. You are being refined, you're become of purer heart and that means it's worth it.

Don't seek calm, let the storm flow now, now is its time. Our shoulders are here as best as they can be.

But when its time has passed, take your control back, your new stronger/wiser/experienced control.

You are SO going to be OK.

[shaunaleverett]

It's totally fine for you to feel the pain of this reality. It is what it is. Don't let anyone, including yourself, beat you up for your emotional response. Let it happen.

Feel it as long as you have to. In the end, this is the stuff that makes you stronger, wiser, lets you stand taller next time because you're better prepared.

Nothing is as educational as experience. We give advice here hoping to help in the aftermath, but you are the one being burned in the fires of learning. You are being refined, you're become of purer heart and that means it's worth it.

Don't seek calm, let the storm flow now, now is its time. Our shoulders are here as best as they can be.

But when its time has passed, take your control back, your new stronger/wiser/experienced control.

You are SO going to be OK.

Thank you =)

thank you all for what you have said..
you all have helped me figure out what I need to do.
yeah, its proly going to hurt..
but life is pain.. and I'm starting to see why.

so once again.
thank you all so much for your wise words.

[rollerkid123]

If you want to leave him just sit him down and tell him comely. Don`t hesitate!

:)

[N0help4u]

I would say if you have nothing to lose and are up for adventure as opposed to stability go for it
I can understand him saying go with me or forget it long distance relationships are a hassle
I can understand him wanting you to decide and then live with it

BUT
It does sound like he is playing manipulative games
It does sound like he is making excuses and trying to make it look like you are
It does sound like he gives in to mom too easily
It does sound like mom may not even like you being there and make it difficult on you to the point you want to leave.

[hjpan]

thats funny you say that about him..
about the whole, "excuses" thing...

when i tried to talk to him..
and explain things to him..
he told me to quit giving him them..

It's true... I have a 22 year old female friend, living in Aloha, Oregon, attending college~

Also, if he's being anal about "quit giving him them" attitude... dump him

Obviously, he's too shallow... like my ex

She gives a bunch of reasons we shouldn't date:
1. I'm "too good" for her.. find a girl whose closer to me
2. University time killed our relationship
3. I don't have feelings for you anymore
4. I want to "experience" single life again

Yeh... stupid reasons, right?
I told her off... don't come back to me crying and asking me to take you back when I got myself popular

[shaunaleverett]

I would say if you have nothing to lose and are up for adventure as opposed to stability go for it
I can understand him saying go with me or forget it long distance relationships are a hassle
I can understand him wanting you to decide and then live with it

BUT
It does sound like he is playing manipulative games
It does sound like he is making excuses and trying to make it look like you are
It does sound like he gives in to mom too easily
It does sound like mom may not even like you being there and make it difficult on you to the point you want to leave.

I know long distance relationships are a hassle..
That's how it was for us for 9 months..
Before he even came up to Oregon..
And those 9 months were tough, but I never gave up on us.

And I actually did have the feeling that his mom
Might not want me to be there to help him out..
Just from the little things he's told me that she has
Said to him. But he then says his family wants me to come.
Because they want to meet me..

But my mom gave me the heads up,
What if we get into a little fight.
When things start to get rough for him,
And he tells me its over, and wants me to leave.
I'll be stuck down there.. without money, and food, and shelter.

[shaunaleverett]

It's true... I have a 22 year old female friend, living in Aloha, Oregon, attending college~

Also, if he's being anal about "quit giving him them" attitude.... dump him

Obviously, he's too shallow... like my ex

She gives a bunch of reasons why we shouldn't date:
1. I'm "too good" for her.. find a girl whose closer to me
2. University time killed our relationship
3. I don't have feelings for you anymore
4. I want to "experience" single life again

Yeh... stupid reasons, right?
I told her off.... don't come back to me crying and asking me to take you back when I got myself popular

That's one of the things he told me the last time we fought..
And we had talks of breaking up. He said that he's not good
Enough for me, and that he hopes I can find someone better.

But you are right..
Those are pretty stupid reasons.