[Romefalls19]

Judy, the reason he isn't paying that is because of the rehab, but the social worker said he went in volunterly which makes his still responsible for the child support, which my girlfriend did not know at that time and just recently found out. Once the living arrangements get better for her, then we have no problem going after him for everything he does owe her.

[dale coria]

With all that has gone on with this guy she shouldn't have to deal with him. Call the cops file complaints whenever possible, he will learn eventually. Sooner or later he will grow up, we all do. The law will change his ways, so will incarceration. That is probably why he is in rehab, to avoid jail. The child support will accru, when he gets his together and goes back to work the courts will garnish his wages to make sure he pays. He will be held responsible for it as long as you pursue it. The kids are young it will work out. My ex-wife and me are good friends now and I have been off drugs and booze for 3 years, thanks to some persuasing by her, and the law.

[Romefalls19]

Yep, we were discussing the whole legal process last night. I hope he does get his act together for the kids sake as I believe every child needs their father. But definitely not at the expense of our safety.

Congrats on the soberity for so long!

[cdad]

Beautiful, luckily I'm not directly involving myself, I simple provide her with information pertaining to increasing the child support. I just recently read something that in NJ, the state will pay the child support while someone is not able to(if they qualify) and when he gets a job, he will just have to pay the state back.

If I had it my way, I would simply say he cannot see the children until he starts to provide support for them. But that's my opinion on that subject ha ha

In no way are you allowed to do anything like that in this world. Your way would lead to losing the child altogether. I suggest you stat looking up law on some websites and also look into parenting classes if your going to remain with your current girlfriend. To deny him the children would be an absolute disaster based on his ability to pay support.

[Romefalls19]

In no way are you allowed to do anything like that in this world. Your way would lead to losing the child altogether. I suggest you stat looking up law on some websites and also look into parenting classes if your going to remain with your current girlfriend. To deny him the children would be an absolute disaster based on his ability to pay support.

I never said I was allowed to, I said if I had my way. Read the post! I have already looked up the laws for it, and yes there are laws in NJ that say if you default on child support payments you WILL LOSE VISITATION UNTIL THE AMOUNT IS PAID. This also has NO BEARING what so ever on my "parenting" ability, to say that so your complete lack of knowledge of the situation which makes me wonder if you bother to read the follow up posts at all.

By the way, only in the U.S is it acceptable for someone to pay child support and not be able to see their kid while someone who doesn't pay child support can. If you can morally tell me that it's fair for a women to get NO child support from a deadbeat father but he should get to see his kids whenever he pleases then yes, I do question your morals.

[Romefalls19]

And another thing to simply imply about what's best for the kids, I guess having them witness him beating their mother isn't a viable reason to deny his right to see his children? Luckily you are not a judge or an attorney and we have already spoken to one as of yesterday in the form of the DA and actually, I was right with my way as he completely agrees and surprisingly, so does the state of NJ. So this post may now be closed as no more information is needed on the subject. I appreciate the responses that were actually useful. Thank you