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tadita83 · Aug 3, 2008, 01:53 PM

First off, THANK YOU so much for all the answers that have already come in. Okay, to answer some questions and clarify the situation. Here's a little more:

I'm 25 and he's 33. So there is a bit of an age difference. No he has not been married, but he is facing a lot of stress with his job. I work with him and most of his friends I have met because I work with them too (summer job not my full time job). I'd say we both initiate about the same amount of contact, but when it comes to making plans, I'm usually the one that decides on the when and where and he decides on the little details. When we are together he is a complete gentlemen. Yes he gets me drinks and such. We hold hands, etc. He is very shy, but it seems to me that shy shouldn't be a factor after he we are already dating-- hard part over. And he's the one that texts. I have called him on two separate occasions. One time he just missed the call entirely and didn't return the message. The other time its like he never could find the words to say. So I gave in and did things his way. I think that he has a hard time talking on the phone so texting it is.

AmExp · Aug 3, 2008, 02:09 PM

Hmm that is a bit of an odd situation. The fact that he rarely answers when YOU text him. Yet, he somehow manages to initiate a text and respond is also very strange... I man not totally sure but that certainly does create a red flag... fellas help us out here please!

talaniman · Aug 3, 2008, 07:15 PM

What do you expect in 3 weeks? He has no idea what you want, how you want it, or when. You don't know what he wants either. Date and have fun, and remember a shy guy may take longer to respond.

happy_jester · Aug 4, 2008, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Remember a shy guy may take longer to respond.

Very interesting thought,"talaniman" :)

Perhaps this guy (as he is shy) is finding it difficult to put his thoughts,and feelings
Into words.

... It could well just be,that,he is still caught up with the idea of "being in love" but,
"talaniman" as you say,given tme,would be a very good boyfriend to have. :)

Romefalls19 · Aug 4, 2008, 09:55 AM

Tal, right on the head.. Shy guys often are worried about possible rejection, it will hurt themselves esteem if they propose something and you say "no" or go and not have fun

tadita83 · Aug 4, 2008, 09:43 PM

You have all put my mind at ease and given me some wonderful insight. Thanks a whole bunch. Everything you've said makes perfect sense. Thanks again:)

AmExp · Aug 5, 2008, 01:57 PM

Yeah but throw us a bone here guys!

talaniman · Aug 5, 2008, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by AmExp

Yeah but throw us a bone here guys!

What kind of bone??

AmExp · Aug 5, 2008, 06:46 PM

Well a guys are funny... The bone meaning guys should tell a girl straight up... I am just not that into you. So everyone can move on or whatever the case may be. He should be straight up.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 5, 2008, 06:48 PM

... a what a beautiful world it would be if people actually said what they meant...

Girls should be honest and not say, "I need space"... when they meant, "I'm sleeping with someone else"

Stringer · Aug 5, 2008, 06:58 PM

Exactly...

It certainly goes both ways doesn't it?

AmExp · Aug 5, 2008, 07:02 PM

IT DOES. Maybe because I am a woman, I feel like guys are worse. I always fall for the guys who play games and have a big head about themselves mixed with secret low self-esteem/intimidation. I just use my experiences as a reference point.

Janmarie · Aug 5, 2008, 08:54 PM

Play hard to get...or easy to forget! With that said, it has only been 3 weeks into this relationship and now is not the time to cause him to think you are a needy person, even though you may not be. Texting a guy and asking him if you are going to do anything together that night may cause him to also think that you are relying on him for things to do, to entertain you. This may cause undo pressure on your guy way to early in the relationship. Guys like girls/women who have a life of their own and can add to the excitement of the relationship. 3 weeks is way to soon to have a guy bored or uninterested when obviously 3 weeks ago he was very interested. What I have found to be truth is that when weekend plans are not set in stone and there is a "maybe we'll do something or maybe we won't" type of thing. I don't wait around that weekend, I make plans for myself. I 'll get together with my girlfriends and we'll get our nails done or go out on the town and do a little "Bird watching" we call it. This is where we have fun meeting other guys and testing our flirting skills. Or I may just make plans for myself that night to take a bubble bath, watch a movie and eat ice cream...doing something for me. If the relationship is only 3 weeks old, don't commit yourself to this guy so soon...be exciting, be yourself and do the things you have always done before you met him. There is no need to have the "Talk" with this guy now, you will chase him so far away so fast and that is not what I feel you want to accomplish here. Believe it or not you are far more attractive to guys when you are not counting on them to make plans for you. There is an awesome ebook written by Mimi Tanner called "calling the men you date" I highly recommend it. It is the do's and don'ts about calling, texting and emailing the men you date. She gives some good advice that can make or break the relationship early on by making early mistakes. Just google Mimi Tanner and I am sure you will find her website. Anyway, I hope this helps and good luck with this guy.

happy_jester · Aug 6, 2008, 07:08 AM

Guys like girls/women who have a life of their own and can add to the excitement of the relationship.

Just because you've got a "partner" in life,it should NOT stop you going out
With friends & having fun!

Happygolucky · Aug 7, 2008, 06:51 AM

If it is any consolation Ive been with my boyfriend for a year now and have known him for 5yrs. He is terrible at replying even to the extent he asks me if he can see me and I reply 'yea when where' etc then I get no reply! It drives me crazy and he knows so we laugh about it though. He is the same with all his guy mates etc so although it truly does my head in I've learned that its just his perso.
I don't know your own or this blokes situation or perso so it is hard to judge him however it may just part of him and no reflection on yourself at all? Tell him/ask him about it and see what happens? Even if it doesn't go down well then at least you know where you stand.

Good Luck :)