[DrJ]

Give it time... a lot of time. IN fact, as much as it takes. Get busy with your own life. And when he does contact you.. still be busy. Don't take the first opportunity to see him. Let him know that he cannot just hop into your life whenever it is convinient for him. Don't be mean... just be too busy to see him for once. It's the laws of attraction... pull back and make him come to you. Hopefully, he will realize that you have a life as well and if he wants to be part of it, he will make time for you.

(NOTE: This is ALL based on whether you want to keep seeing this guy. If he can't seem to make ANY time for you, I would say to forget him and find someone else. You cannot be expected to be available whenever it is convinient for him. Find a man that ENJOYS your company. I have a life... three jobs, a daughter, I bowl league (weekly), I play pool tournaments (weekly), I play a dodgeball league (weekly), and I play softball (weekly... well, when it's the season)... AND I still find time to spend alone with my girlfriend! )

[Dr D]

My advice would be to not contact him. I don't believe that your best efforts can exorcise the badgers from his cage. Many years ago when I divorced the mother of my children, I pleaded to a friend, "but I love her". My friend's response was: "How can you expect someone else to love you when you don't love yourself." I took these word to heart and came to appreciate my own company. Take a break from seeking a relationship. Get yourself a dog or cat who will not ask anything from you but food and affection, and give you more love in return than you can stand. Read a good book, enjoy the company of your friends (and yourself), do nice things for others, and a man worthy of your affection will find you. Best wishes.

[giggles]

[I tried to agree with DrJizzle, but wasn't allowed. Good points!]
Singlecubfan - Get over it. So should he. Yes maybe you asked the "no no" question, and being female and over curious, I am more than guilty of this too. But hey! You wanted to know! Stop beating yourself up about it! He chose to react the way he did, and you're accepting it as a kind of punishment almost. Perhaps it gave him a fright. You won't know unless he ever chooses to say anything about it. And maybe you won't hear from him again to know that answer... and that's why you have to let it go. You needed to know for yourself, and you asked. That tells me this:
It's important for you to know where you stand with someone.
He got defensive, and backed off. That tells me this:
He's not comfortable "explaining himself" to anyone (whether for past reasons or no)
Either way, the ball is in his court in a sense. No, don't contact him. It will appear clingy no matter what excuse (well this female often has found "reasons" to text or call or email... "he has that cd i need back" or whatever) you try and find to make contact with him. DON'T DO IT!
Meanwhile, this should give you the time to consider the reality: How do you feel about sharing him with so many others? This is unlikely to change. So don't wear rose tinted glasses: you falling in love with him is not going to make his schedule less hectic. Save yourself the heartache now if that kind of lifestyle does not suit you, i.e. if you feel you are "fitting in" to when he has a free minute.
It sounds like he made it easy to victimise you, perhaps knowing you would be a little paranoid (and probably overapologetic - rough guess?). Take a step back. You did nothing wrong, let him come back to you if that's what he decides. He could be really missing out by not doing so, but you don't have to spell that out for him either :cool:
Let us know what happens! Good luck x

[singlecubfan]

I have been dating a guy off and on for over 3 months but don't get to see him often as he has a son and between that, his job and his church, I am a distant 4th place. When there is time to get together something doesn’t work out for one of us. Last night, I finally freaked and said that I was feeling ignored. (via e-mail) and he said “right now I am as there are some other things more important than pacifying me that he needed to tend to.” Of course this upset me. Is this normal for a man who has kids? I responded by saying “that I appreciate his honestly” and said that I care about him and will be out of town for a few days, and happy to know where I stand. But I am hurt. Is this normal?

Please pray for me and pray for my patients and how I can get though this.

I am 31 years old, never married and really like this guy!

What do I do?

[jeffatl]

Yes, he is a busy guy. I wouldn't push him, or this will go nowhere. That is GREAT that he is honest with you, let him make the moves now, he knows you are interested.

[fredg]

Hi, Single,
I remember a question very similar to this one, posted a little while back.
He was hones with you, saying he has more important things on his mind right now. The words about "pacifying you" should be a warning signal. He is not that interested in you. If he were, he would not have said that. He really doesn't want any relationship now.
Since you have only known him for 3 months, (approx 12 weeks), isn't really a long time at all, and already he is telling you he doesn't have time.
I would definitely start looking around at other men. I do wish you the best.

[JoeCanada76]

I remember a similar question before, could be from the same person? Maybe! Wish I had the same answer as before I would share. If this person really likes you he will make time for you no matter what. He is not doing that so that should tell you, you are not that important to me. I do not care how busy somebody is when you have a love in your life or that your interested in you do everything to make time. He is not doing that.

Joe