[zooropa1985]

Just got a text from her there at 12.30am, asking if I was OK. I replied saying I was fine and just that I was outlast night with a friend. She replied asking where was I out but followed with this is just a "friend" text, so I simply replied Belfast. She sent me one back saying its good to see I was out with friends.

That was it, no begging or even asking about the relationship on my part and it feels good.

Should I have text her back though?

[nickshehe]

Nope.
I'm glad you felt better - Im assuming its not because you are hopeful though.
Don't you think you might have felt a lot better if you hadn't replied and she was going crazy wondering what you were doing and why you weren't replying?

[zooropa1985]

Surely though there's no contact and then there's just being rude?

[Ram911]

Yea but... I wouldn't classify it as ' being rude '.

You don't need to answer to her. She's just checking up on you, as a "friend". Keep her thinking, you want to move on, live your life. And in her case, even make it Look like your moving on, that life is fine without her.

[nickshehe]

I hate to be so forward but she wasn't exactly thinking of YOU when she was kissing some other guy.. You should be angry at her - not worried about being rude..
If you want to get over this obstacle you have to start being selfish.
I was somewhat "fortunate" in that my ex dumped me in a very cruel way and never apologized for it - so I didn't feel bad being "rude". But she approached me several times on "friendly terms" and I didn't reply.. The last thing I told her was "enjoy your night out" or something along the lines of that and then I just decided it was time to stop the charade..
There's no looking back if you decide to move on. Talking to her will only delay the process for you.

[Romefalls19]

I agree with Nick, she didn't care about being rude to you and ending it did she? Or like he said, kissing another guy. As mean as it sounds, if you ever feel like you're being rude, think of another guy where you used to be. Holding her, kissing her and her smiling because of HIM not YOU. If that doesn't give you the kick in the a*s to not respond then I don't know what to tell you.

STOP talking to this broad. She's not worth it, if she texts you don't respond

[bigbird213]

At this point, you probably couldn't be rude enough...

[chuff]

surely though theres no contact and then theres just being rude?

RUDE? F her. You gave your time, your energy, and your heart to this beast of a woman and she repaid you back by dropping you and now as a "act of friendship" she texted you to see how you are doing. I hate this skank and I don't even live in Ireland. Screw her.

Rude by the way is doing what she did to you and then texting you to try and get back on your good side after all she's done. NC is exactly that. NO CONTACT!! This is for you not for her. IT IS TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT YOU!!

[nickshehe]

Lol I wanted to say that but I didn't want to be that direct :)

"The Cuffmeister" is right yet again

[Bicho]

Sorry.. but it's good she did it because it made you realize what she means for you. Hung in there and wait for some few days and when you get the chance to see her once more; I'm sure you won't let go of her. Good luck!

[bigbird213]

Sorry ..but it's good she did it coz it made u realize what she means for you. Hung in there and wait for some few days and when you get teh chance to see her once more; I'm sure u won't let go of her. Good luck!

Your sure he won't let go of her?

That's exactly what he needs to do.

[zooropa1985]

OK so its day 3 since she text me and I've not heard from her since.

Ive been thinking for the last few days and something has been bothering me and even people who I have talked to about it.

If she wanted to end it then why tell me about her kissing another guy? I mean was to to cause me pain? She texts me saying she loves me and wants me but that she's kissed someone else, I didn't reply at the time so she sent me another one saying she's shaking cause she's hurt me so much.

Sadly I said I would forgive her but the next day she was back to her BS ways, needing space, not wanting to see me.

The other thing that bugs me is she's kicked me to the kerb but she's happy to stay friendly with the guy she kissed. She blames me for all this and she's told me that.

Ive been betrayed twice now in the space of a year by two girls that said they "loved me". I just feel so dam used!

[bigbird213]

Use those feelings to motivate yourself to not talk to her. The longer you can go, the easier it becomes. Set a goal for yourself, then when you get there - double it.

The questions you are asking are common ones, we have all had them. You are best spent not worrying about these questions because in honesty, they don't really matter anymore.

[nickshehe]

So you've seen that being nice and forgiving to a girl who clearly doesn't deserve that sort of treatment. Perhaps you could consider the "rude" option that you disregarded earlier?
If anything this should make it an easier decision for you.. I'm sorry and I truly sympathize with you but can't you see the unnecessary pain she's putting you through? You don't have to go through it if you don't want.
If you analyze every word and every action that she's done pre-breakup and post-breakup - I GUARANTEE you will go insane. It's not worth it.
My ex was all over me a week before she was suddenly "confused about us" - what a joke.
Do what's best for you mate.

[chuff]

If she wanted to end it then why tell me about her kissing another guy? i mean was to to cause me pain? she texts me saying she loves me and wants me but that shes kissed someone else, i didnt reply at the time so she sent me another one saying shes shaking cause shes hurt me so much.

You are thinking logically. She think emotionally. You are learning first hand the difference between men and women... well one of them. She told you she kissed the other guy to cause you not only pain but confusion. Furthermore, should you get back together it's an easy way for her to break up with you again and throw it back in your face by saying, "What did you expect, I already told you I wouldn't wait around for you the first time when I kissed the other guy." She tells you she loves you so you don't run to far off. It's her way of controlling you through emotions. When you didn't respond to "I love you" she then goes in the opposite direction to get a reaction from you by saying she's "in pain" from missing you.

Sadly i said i would forgive her but the next day she was back to her BS ways, needing space, not wanting to see me.

Because she knows she has you. You caved in to her game by giving her forgiveness even after she told you she kissed someone else. You took the challenge from her and I believe I posted once in another post for some guy from Ireland, "Once the challenge is gone, so is she."

The other thing that bugs me is shes kicked me to the kerb but shes happy to stay friendly with the guy she kissed. She blames me for all this and shes told me that.

What a b*tch. This proves she's just playing games.

Ive been betrayed twice now in the space of a year by two girls that said they "loved me". i just feel so dam used!!

Well, I get what your saying but again I point out that you give so much of yourself that you save nothing for yourself. Again, the first person in a relationship is you, not her. They will use you if you let them, and you have given more then 50% for both of these relationships.

[zooropa1985]

Your right on so many levels.

The truth is that I think I'm more angry now than anything else, yes I have moments where I miss her but then I think of what she did and it makes me hate her.

I guess once the anger dies down then so will all the feelings I have towards her.

By the way just want to say thanks to everyone who is there for me on this, means a lot

[Jiser]

The challenge has gone! Check my sig for the familiar Zoo/Chuff experience.