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HistorianChick · Apr 10, 2008, 08:25 AM

Darlin, she's your teacher. I can't tell you how many teachers I had crushes on when I was in school... even professors in college.

But, bottom line, they are just in that "restricted" category. There are such things as absolutes. As much as society doesn't like it, there are things that just shouldn't be done. Taboos. Making a move on your teacher/your teacher making a move on you is TABOO.

A teacher knows when a student has a crush on them - I've taught, and believe me, I knew. Your teacher has chosen to teach because she loves it. Don't put her in a situation that will jeopardize not only her livelihood, but her dream job.

jessica1414 · Apr 11, 2008, 04:36 AM

Originally Posted by COOKIE MONSTER

so what you had dreams about her i had a dream bout the hunk that works in tesco once but i wouldnt say i had feelings for him

you sound like your obsessed with her and it is areal problem you need to get this sorted out and stay away from her before you make a fool of yourself and wreck her life

I'm not in obessed with her OK that's in crazy you guys are taking this like to seriously I won't make a move on her and never will unless she does first and she can't go to jail if I'm 18 and too I wouldn't tell anyone what is going on if anything happened between us so so whatever it

Tuscany · Apr 11, 2008, 05:11 AM

Honey I think you have a bit of a crush. We have all been there. Heck, I am a teacher and I see kids with crushes on their teachers everyday. But the others are right, don't act on it. IF when you graduate and are no longer a student at your school you still feel the same way then talk to her. But, do not do it now. Wait. Don't put you or her in a situation that neither of you want to be in.

Tuscany · Apr 11, 2008, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by jessica1414

im not in obessed with her ok thats in crazy u guys are takin this like to seriously i wont make a move on her and never will unless she does first and she can't go to jail if im 18 and too i wouldnt tell anyone what is going on if anything happend between us so so whatever it

Honey- because she is a teacher she can get into trouble. You are a student- she is your superior, she holds a position of power over you. She can lose her job, her teaching license and she could go to jail.

kp2171 · Apr 11, 2008, 05:44 AM

Don't assume we don't understand strong attraction to a person we cannot be with. We can absolutely understand and have completely different opinions.

Also, while its true you cannot just turn off feelings, having feelings isn't justification enough. Its called self control. Don't think I haven't met women I've been attracted to since I married? Sure I have. Don't think my wife hasn't been propositioned by interested men that she thought were attractive? Sure she has. Having feelings that conflict with what you should do can be tough, but it isn't a good enough reason to justify actions.

OK... back to the topic at hand. It is a dangerous line that would be walked. I have taught at university and I actually did date a student who had been through classes in the dept I worked in. we dated after the classes were over.

In my case, it was unique in that I had also been a student at the school immediately prior to teaching. There were people in the classes I was friends with... in fact I had to give a good friend a non passing grade my first semester teaching, and then we went out for drinks after. So... I was younger than most teachers, and I was careful to not date while the student was in my class.

She was a little older than most students (young 20's, I was mid 20's) and I had no say over her grade or classes.

I can also tell you I had several students with big crushes on me during that time and it sounds like nice attention, but it can be uncomfortable. In one case I had to notify the dept that a student was making strong advances. No fun at all.

So... I can't slap your hands too hard, having crossed a line myself that most are uncomfortable about supporting. I can tell you there will be people who flirt with you and that's all. I can't get into your teachers head. She might be interested. She might like to flirt.

You are underage now. She's flirting with an underage student. I don't care if you are "legal" tomorrow or next year... the teacher is either showing brazen recklessness, or you are convincing yourself that there's more here than there is. Both are possible.

Personally, I think you need to suck it up, deal with your feelings, and not cross that line. Get used to the idea that you are going to be attracted to women the rest of your life that you may not be able to have a relationship with. It happens all the time. Some people unfortunately use "want" and "desire" as a means to justify bad decisions. Bad pattern.

talaniman · Apr 11, 2008, 07:47 AM

There is no excuse for bad behavior, and blaming it on your feelings, is an excuse, that will not stop you from paying the consequences of your actions.

jessica1414 · Apr 11, 2008, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by kp2171

dont assume we dont understand strong attraction to a person we cannot be with. we can absolutely understand and have completely different opinions.

also, while its true you cannot just turn off feelings, having feelings isnt justification enough. its called self control. dont think i havent met women ive been attracted to since i married? sure i have. dont think my wife hasnt been propositioned by interested men that she thought were attractive? sure she has. having feelings that conflict with what you should do can be tough, but it isnt a good enough reason to justify actions.

ok... back to the topic at hand. it is a dangerous line that would be walked. i have taught at university and i actually did date a student who had been through classes in the dept i worked in. we dated after the classes were over.

in my case, it was unique in that i had also been a student at the school immediately prior to teaching. there were people in the classes i was friends with... in fact i had to give a good friend a non passing grade my first semester teaching, and then we went out for drinks after. so... i was younger than most teachers, and i was careful to not date while the student was in my class.

she was a little older than most students (young 20's, i was mid 20's) and i had no say over her grade or classes.

i can also tell you i had several students with big crushes on me during that time and it sounds like nice attention, but it can be uncomfortable. in one case i had to notify the dept that a student was making strong advances. no fun at all.

so... i can't slap your hands too hard, having crossed a line myself that most are uncomfortable about supporting. i can tell you there will be people who flirt with you and thats all. i can't get into your teachers head. she might be interested. she might like to flirt.

you are underage now. shes flirting with an underage student. i dont care if you are "legal" tomorrow or next year... the teacher is either showing brazen recklessness, or you are convincing yourself that theres more here than there is. both are possible.

personally, i think you need to suck it up, deal with your feelings, and not cross that line. get used to the idea that you are going to be attracted to women the rest of your life that you may not be able to have a relationship with. it happens all the time. some people unfortunately use "want" and "desire" as a means to justify bad decisions. bad pattern.

OK whatever I like older females I've been with older females as high as 34 but I would never want to see her career end because of me and but whatever happens, happened

kp2171 · Apr 11, 2008, 03:08 PM

If a 34 year old man was with a 17 year old girl hed be in jail.

COOKIE MONSTER · Apr 11, 2008, 03:57 PM

Well if your not going to listen to what we think about the situation why did you post on hear if you wasn't willing in the first place??

Did you think all of us would tell you it was OK to get off with your teacher??

jessica1414 · Apr 11, 2008, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by COOKIE MONSTER

well if your not going to listen to what we think about the situation why did you post on hear if you wasn't willing in the first place????

did you think all of us would tell you it was ok to get off with your teacher???

I didn't even know what it was at first OK so this and you too

COOKIE MONSTER · Apr 12, 2008, 05:28 AM

See how imature you are with your ''what ever's'' [[THE I DON'T GIVE A C**P WHAT YOU SAY TEENAGE LANGUAGE]]

It just shows your age and do you really think somebody of your teachers age [and your teacher] is going to want to be with you? When you act like a child

Your 17 not 10 so start acting 17 and realise this fantasy is not going to happen and move on with your life

kp2171 · Apr 12, 2008, 06:22 AM

Absolutely time to add a name to the ignore bin.

talaniman · Apr 12, 2008, 08:18 AM

If you didn't want to hear what others had to say, don't ask the question. Grow up! Don't be mad at us, because we don't agree with your course of action, or attitude.

Tuscany · Apr 15, 2008, 06:38 AM

I agree with everyone here. You need to grow up and realize that life is not all about you. Besides, I would be shocked if anything would even happen with your teacher. It is a school girl crush. Like many things in childhood, it will pass and you will look back at this and see how your actions were wrong.

jennyboo122292 · Apr 18, 2008, 08:42 AM

Uhhh She's Your Freakin Teacher. How Could You Have The Hots For An Old Girl? Ewe.

MarleneD · May 31, 2008, 12:23 PM

Jessica1414...

I have been in love with my teacher (twice, once at your age, second time when I were older).

I have had a relationship (my first) with my teacher (see my questions.)

As a tip for you: Those teachers that get involved with their students, are to greatest extent, those that do not care for rules. And it means... they will not care for you either.
So sad is the truth... When one is in love with the teacher, one automatically thinks "If he will be with me, it means, he likes me so much he risks his career for me." Be careful with this pitfall... it is no more than a trap... and when you get hurt, it will hurt A LOT LOT LOT more than if it was any other guy you were in love with.