[talaniman]

Wait and see. Chances are she got it.

[jimmymat87]

It really depends whether the was any reason for a response.. like any follow up questions.. if it was just a birthday message she may not of felt the need to reply.. I never reply to birthday messages..

However I sent my ex an sms for her birthday just saying happy birthday have a good one.. and she replied "thanks".. But on the other hand if it was my birthday and she sent it to me I wouldn't of replied..

But no I wouldn't ask her about it would make it seem like you care too much

Jim.

[howsitgo]

Thanks everyone for your advise. I guess this is more common than I thought.

Yes, Jim, I think my email warranted a response, especially because I asked about one of her relatives. And not only that, but she always responds.

It's just that what puzzles me is she keeps contacting me and updating me on what's going on in her life. Really I don't know what she wants and I haven't asked. But she just pops in every few weeks or so. Anyway, that's hard because I still have strong feelings for this girl and this contact stirs it up more.

It was a 4 year relationship. We're both in our 30s, so it was pretty serious. But then things got a bit bitter with fights and then she had too much going on with grad school and work, so she decided that we go our separate ways.

Like I said, it's been a year now, and I'm still emotionally attached to her. What should I do? Just screw the emails and the games and call her and confront her... like tell her how I feel? Of should I leave this email as it is and just walk away and deal with it if she ever comes back?

[talaniman]

After 4 years, you have a lot of healing to do, and if your still having feelings, you'll always have questions, and never be friends. If contact confuses you stop!

[howsitgo]

Thanks Talaniman. I did stop contacting her though. This email was the first time I did anything. It really wasn't until about March she's been contacting meagain. I guess I could have told her to stop, but I thought maybe it was going somewhere. Like I said before though, it was just brief conversations every few weeks since March... maybe 2 phone calls she made to me and 3 or 4 emails. Before that I never heard from her for Months, since we broke up last year in July.

You're right about the fact I can't be friends with her. So, do I tell her that next time she contacts me to say hi and check in on me to stop contacting me? Or do I ignore her? Because really I don't know what her intentions are and I'm not sure what to do after so long. I had made up my mind of no contact last year and I stuck by it, but after a year I never expected her to start contacting me again.

[talaniman]

You don't have to, as those long explanations often lose there meaning, but you can be unavailable, and busy, as you disappear from her life. She probably is just seeing if your ready to be a friend, which your not, so being busy is your option, and let her wonder where you disappeared to.

I can see how those old feelings got stirred up again, and now you know you have to work harder on behalf of your own healing.

I hope you have a circle of friends, and activities in your life, as the last thing you want is to isolate yourself from the world, and opportunities to enjoy yourself.

Healing is all about being happy, without her in your life.

[jiltedgirl]

I wouldn't respond. She probably got your message. I wouldn't look into it. You're obviously still attached to her, and tal's right. Healing is about being happy without her in your life. It seems like keeping in contact with her has delayed any type of healing. For some people, it's just impossible to be friends with your ex. It seems like that is the case with you.

It's never too late to start the healing process. Best of luck!

[howsitgo]

Thanks guys,

Actually she did end up responding on the weekend. Said she hadn't got her emails and appologized for not responding sooner. It sounded sincere, but I never responded. From what I've heard from some mutual friends, she still has an interest in me and that's why she's hanging around. But she will not make a move because she's the one who left me (I think it's a pride thing... I don't know. Also she doesn't know if I'm seeing someone). So if anything she's hoping for me to ask her to meet up. I'm not sure what to do here. I mean, that information, could be wrong, and then if I were to do something and get shot down again, that would suck. Any advise how to pursue this?

Thanks again

[talaniman]

she's the one who left me

Don't forget that either.

Any advise how to pursue this?

That's up to you , is she worth the risk or not and are her friends talking to her or not, and do you believe them or not? Lots of questions, no answers. How old are you both as this sounds like high school.

[howsitgo]

Thanks Tal, Actually we're in our 30s, haha... but I know what you mean. It's just one mutual friend who told me this about 2 weeks or so ago, only because I asked.