[talaniman]

Well here is more to wipe your butt with. I'm an older guy and been married more than 30 years, and have been through a hell of a lot. At no time have I considered hurting my wife, because I was dealt a rotten hand. Yes I was harsh, very much so, and you deserved it all, as making excuses for bad behavior, is not an adult way to deal with your situation, that you made. You have consequences to pay for your own actions, and yes your very cavalier attutude, over this affair, was what riled me up, and still does. My advice, and as been said by others, is own up, and make the amends, and stop doing wrong, plain and simple, you need to straighten your mess out. You can do whatever your adult mind tells you to, or wipe your butt, doesn't matter, but I won't be the one paying for your decisions, you will. So wake up, and stop the excuses, and the expecting sympathy, and do what you know is right. At least free your husband as I imagine he will be much harsher than I am.

[Guest]

Do what you feel is right. Asking a bunch of people who don't know you or your situation is pointless. There is no point being in a relationship you aren't happy in. You do however owe it to your husband to tell him the truth. You made your bed and now you lie in it. There isn't a pretty way "out" of this one. You know you made mistakes. So own up, buck up and deal with it. It's not going to be nice regardless so stop procrastinating and make a change if you are going too. The longer it goes on the more it hurts those involved and makes it more difficult on you. Good luck girl!

[ladyrareindeed]

Your almost hitting home with me. My husband and I have a lot of the same friends. This guy is one of our best friends. One time over two years ago we found ourselves drunk and in eachothers arms, just kissed that's it. We decided it was us being drunk and confusing the best friend love with something else. Anyway over the past year it's developed into way more. We love each other, were in love there's no doubt in my mind. I love my husband and so does he. My husband's a great guy and the father of my child, but I'm not in love with him. This guy was also with my best friend for a while too.
There's so many reasons we can't be together. We have tried to do the right thing and stop but it just starts again. How are things with you and him now? Anything different?

[confused1145]

Well, you are in a pretty bad situation. No one can make up your mind for you. You have two choices, tell your hiusband the truth and try to work through it or leave him. Either way he's going to get hurt. Secrets always come to light eventually and if he has to find out that way he is going to be hurt more. You need to decide what is right and do it soon to prevent any more heartaches. If he's such a good man (your husband) then don't continue to hurt him. If he doesn't make you happy and is that good of a man than I'm sure he won't have a problem finding someone to treat him how he deserves to be treated. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he did this to you? Not so good, I bet. This oother guys probably has only one thing on his mind, sex because you even said he's trying to get his ex back. Are you willing to ruin your family for a fling? That's what I think it is. Sorry, I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, I'm going to say what you need to hear. Not trying to be mean at all. If your not happy an you know it's over, leave him, but if you can be faithful and work through this issues than do it. There's an innocent child involved also so whatever decision you make will affect him as well.

[ljersey]

Hello everyone out there, I realize this conversation is a bit outdated, but I am in the same situation and would love to know what happened in this situation. I've learned that taking other people's advice only gets you so far, and in the end the decision is up to you, but it's helpful to hear other people's stories. One thing I will say is that after I had an affair with my husband's best friend and fell in love with him, I was tortured over the whole thing and what to do. But I decided to tell my husband. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but the old saying "the truth can set you free" proved true for me. My husband, who is also a wonderful man, was able to forgive me. While it is still hard, because of my feelings for this other man who has been my friend for 9 years, at least my husband and I are talking and trying to understand how things went so wrong.