[talaniman]

Now she asks me what's wrong because I'm ignoring her and she's been involved with a lot of other guys, it just makes me really jealous. But I try not to show it. Why is she doing that?

Because you let her. Your in friendzone, with no hope of getting back together. Keeping you confused is her way of keeping you in her life, just in case the other guys don't work out, because she knows you'll always be around, just waiting for a chance. Stop contacting her and stop letting her contact you, and you end the confusion and drama, and start the healing process. Read the links in my signature for some good suggestions on how to get healthy after a break up.

[spartan24018]

One day I'm fine by myself, and happy with myself. Other days, I find myself crying and feel so depressed and feel so down. All of those happy memories that makes me sad comes back when I play songs on my guitar, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But thankfully, I can let some feelings out on this website instead of telling it to her. Thanks tal, your advice really helps me out. And so does everyone else that gave me advice, I don't mean to leave you guys out. I'm not going to ask for NC, but I'm going to DO NC, but I'll talk back to her if she talks to me, I don't want to be a . I'll keep you guys updated

[George_1950]

In my view, thinking about her in the past is great memories; thinking about her now and in the future is a prescription for pain. Your brain plays tricks, much like an addiction. Steer carefully.

[Questions2007]

One day I'm fine by myself, and happy with myself. Other days, I find myself crying and feel so depressed and feel so down. All of those happy memories that makes me sad comes back when I play songs on my guitar, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But thankfully, I can let some feelings out on this website instead of telling it to her. Thanks tal, your advice really helps me out. And so does everyone else that gave me advice, I don't mean to leave you guys out. I'm not going to ask for NC, but I'm going to DO NC, but I'll talk back to her if she talks to me, I don't want to be a . I'll keep you guys updated

You are in the very early stages so confusion, upset and a sense of loss will reign. Ride out the initial storm of having her out of your life and things will get so much better. Stick to the No Contact.

If you are in a situation where you are trying no contact and she is still contacting you and not taking the hint then you are going to have to be blunt. Tell her you are not going to be in contact with her anymore, simple. If she can't understand that then she is a very immature person. Why would you want to be with someone like that?

Don't let her run the "I want to be friends" line. She isn't your friend. She is your ex girlfriend. She, and all dumpees, generally only use that line to a) ease their guilt; and b) keep you as a back up.

Be strong!

[talaniman]

This is an excellent time to develop those coping skills needed as an adult male, its hard doing something like this, but experience is a hard teacher, we all have gone through it. Put yourself above all.

[Richie the man]

What I would say is user her to hook up with someone else, or try score with one of her friends I'd say that would make her feel like and make you feel better.

[talaniman]

What i would say is user her to hook up with someone else, or try score with one of her friends i'd say that would make her feel like and make you feel better.

What a lousy idea. Revenge is not the answer here, as learning from the experience and applying that knowledge for the future is. That's called using and developing coping skills, to grow and mature.

[Questions2007]

What a lousy idea. Revenge is not the answer here, as learning from the experience and applying that knowledge for the future is. Thats called using and developing coping skills, to grow and mature.

I agree, what is the point of revenge. It is childish and will backfire. You will also hurt the other person involved. Your ex will likely see right through it as an attempt to get her back and for her benefit.

Concentrate on yourself. Have no contact with your ex. If she comes back to you then she is doing so because she wants too, not because you have flaunted a new woman (who she will no doubt see as a negligible threat) in her face.

[spartan24018]

This is an excellent time to develop those coping skills needed as an adult male, its hard doing something like this, but experience is a hard teacher, we all have gone thru it. Put yourself above all.

Thanks tal. I'm only about 16 right now, but this is a good experience that I need to learn. At least I'll get something from this, and thanks. I really know where your coming from, and I'm trying to put myself above all of it. Seeing her for whom she is really helps too, especially with all the things she's doing

[talaniman]

especially with all the things she's doing

Women can be as stubborn as men, and when they value a friendship, they want to hold on to it. Especially if the communication flows and makes them feel good, so right or wrong, it still up to you to do what you have to to be healthy. I mention this because we all assume games are being played, but they may not be evil on their part, they hurt too.

[spartan24018]

On a side note
I went to see how my other ex was doing, so I sent her a message. Her response was
"no problem mr. cat eater. yeah my life is AMAZING, thanks fur asking. oh and dont let me be rude! hope ur life is a living hell my friend"

How did everyone else get over their very first love? I'm only wondering

[talaniman]

I got over my first real relationship of 3 years, by finally getting tired of being unhappy, so after 6 months, accepted that it was over, and started getting around more, and doing things that made me happy. There is a lot to see and do, once you open your eyes. Single is a fun place to be, if you make it that way.

[s_cianci]

First of all, you don't "try" it, you do it. No phone calls, no IMs, no e-mails, nothing. Likewise, don't accept any phone calls, e-mails or IMs from her. If you happen to run into her in public, just a quick smile and "hello" and then on your merry way. Don't talk about her with anyone. If someone else tries to talk to you about her, change the subject. Pretend that she's disappeared from the face of the earth and make her have to pretend that you've disappeared from the face of the earth.

[s_cianci]

Update: I think the girl I was talking about could be leading her life into trouble. I think she likes this guy who has a reputation for using and abusing girls. I'm still friends with her (even though I haven't been in contact with her for a few days), should I help her out?

Nope. Her problem, not yours. It's not your place to play rescuer.

[spartan24018]

I've been doing well for myself. 4 months of NC and I don't even care about her anymore. Deleted her from my buddy list, phone, myspace, etc. After 4 solid months of no talking, no contact, she friend request me on MySpace.
When I asked her, she replied with "idk.. i'm sick of hacking other ppl's myspaces to see ur profile i guess. so that's a no..?"
What is she trying to do? And what should I do about her?
Thanks guys, my mind goes blank when I think of what to do.