[Homegirl 50]

thanks I no were i stand yes.. Thats such a sick messed up thing to doooo. God im annoyed now... And hurt

Yeah, it's sick and messed up and you're hurting pretty bad about now. But move on. Don't get stuck in the "anger and hurt mode", it does not change anything and it does you no good.
Chalk it up as one of life's ugly lessons and move on.

[chris28]

I hate to say it but.... WE TOLD YOU SO.....

Now, get the help you need and start healing. The sooner, the better.

And, no, I don't want to hear 'but I did everything for her, etc'... read other relationship posts and gain strength to get back to YOU.

At least now you know where you stand from her point of view, take it serious this time, please.

What kind of help would u sugjest??

[talaniman]

HELP YOURSELF!! Plain and simple as this isn't rocket science nor is it easy. Click on the links in my signature AND read some of the other posts in the relationship section. The flavor is the same, Stop contact, and get a life that you enjoy without her!!

[shygrneyzs]

Chris, what kinds of relationship/self help books have you read lately?

Alexandra Stoddard wrote a book called, "You Are Your Choices" 50 Ways to Live the Good Life. The book is less than 200 pages but each chapter has wisdom from being responsible to surrounding yourself with people you trust. If you were my son, I would sit you down and have you read it. I'd also have you work through the "One-Way Relationships Workbook" by Alfred H. Ells, especially the section on healing wounds.

Chris - you have to pull yourself up and seriously attend to your own emtional health. No one here can do that for you, as much as we may like to. WE can encourage you, pray for you, give you helps, but you have to do what seems impossible right now. It starts with the first step. I honestly hope you seek some licensed relationship counselor. You deserve better, Chris.

[Chery]

What kind of help would u sugjest????

Wrong response...

Oh, and starting another thread is not the answer either...

[chris28]

Wrong response..............

Oh, and starting another thread is not the answer either....................

No no more threads will be started on this topic. I will admit it all of you are right. I think I just had to see it for myself. It will never work between me and her she told me things why she was not happy and what she wants and I can provide those things to her I understand better now. I no I will make a great B/F one day and will be happy but I will start 1 step at a time. I am call my coverage today and find a therapist to speak with to help with my emotions. But as far sas the other things go you were right. She doesn't want me and it was all a game..

Thanks

[shygrneyzs]

Chris, I am happy for you that you have decided to take that first step. This is painful, but is desperately needed for your own well being. You are right - you will find that special woman one day and you will make a wonderful boyfriend - just don't get involved with someone until you get your head straightened out. Believe me, rebounds can be harmful too.

Good luck to you, the best of luck to you.

[talaniman]

Hi Chris, Welcome to the world of people who have learned the hard way, by going through the experience of being dumped and played. The bad news is it will happen again, more than likely, and hurt like hell every time. The great news is you will learn to deal with your own emotions, and be able to deal with the rest of the world through realistic eyes, and can tell more quick, with greater efficiency, whether your on the right track. It may suck right now, but it will get better if you chalk it up to lesson learned and let yourself heal. Love yourself, and don't let others put a value on YOU, that's your job.

[Chery]

Good for you dear.

Be your first priority now and take care.

Talaniman is right, it sucks, will happen again, but we adjust and grow - that's why so many of us have a little more experence than you right now, but you'll get there too.

[chris28]

So here is a update. My ex's mother called me all emotional and all. She said things I was shocked with. Her mom is a Dr a profeesional women I did not know she like me as well as she did. She told me she's wanted to call me right away but it was to hard.
She appologozed that me and her daughter are going through things she said she tells her every night she should change her mind. She said she older and smarter and she knows that I am great and that she would love me to marry her daughter. She also told me she hopes her daughter changes her mind before its to late. She even said I love you wich even shocked my ex. She went on and on and I was more shocked she also told me I will make someone lucky one day.

So After all this going on what happened the other day when I saw my ex it was a setback but her moms call made me feel a lot better.


Also I called my job human resourse I am waiting for them to get back to me with a number of a few Dr's I can't talk with and get some additional help.



This coming weekend is the ski trip with my ex's friends. Of course my ex won't be there or her to close friends either but there will be a few ladies and some guys I want to try to have a fun filled weekend alone...



:)

[talaniman]

Go have fun then, and even though you feel better knowing the mother likes you, and disagrees with her daughters choice, its still the exs' choice. Forget her and do your thing.

[chris28]

Go have fun then, and even though you feel better knowing the mother likes you, and disagrees with her daughters choice, its still the exs' choice. Forget her and do your thing.

Your right I will have fun and I will not think about her. Its funny I just logged onto check my responses and she just called . My ex found out my granny was in the hopsital and called to see how she was doing...

[Chery]

It sounds to me as if neither of you are ready to let go..

No matter how this all turns out, I hope it works to your satisfaction and happiness.

Keep us posted.

[chris28]

So here is a update This weekend I went skiing with out mutual friends there were 2 of my exs closed friends and like 5 guys and 2 couples. Her friends told me that she called and asked if I was okie meaning comfortable with them all since this is the first time I was with our mutual friends alone without her. Well at least the female friends. I can honestly say I didn't think about her at all except 5 am Sunday morning her friends come home 5 30am and tell me there glad I came and that I'm the first ex of any of the girls that they still want to talk to. They tell me that they like me and all this it made me feel good. So now I no I just need to make a lot of friends and I will be happy alone. I had the time of my life I didn't look for not a single girl and was sooooo happy. I didn't think I could find that old happy feeling again. IT was nice and fun. I will post some more soon I just want to say that I had a good time…… be back soon to write more..

[shygrneyzs]

Am glad you went, Chris, and enjoyed yourself. Your friends sound like they are sensitive to the ex girlfriend issues and will honor the not talking about her. You can be happy again and will be happy again. Did you find out anything at your work about insurance for seeing a counselor?

[chris28]

Am glad you went, Chris, and enjoyed yourself. Your friends sound like they are sensitive to the ex gf issues and will honor the not talking about her. You can be happy again and will be happy again. Did you find out anything at your work about insurance for seeing a counselor?

They sent me a list of therapists I left a few mssgs now I'm waiting on some return calls.

[shygrneyzs]

I am rooting for you, Chris!

[chris28]

Okie so I had a few calls returned to me so far about the therapy and so far our schedules do not fit. I will continue to try there are hundreds in the close areas to me. I feel better knowing that I am trying.

I called them and asked for a therapist who specializes in social anxiety because that’s what I think I am dealing with. I came back from my trip on Sunday night I was okie a little upset cause it was over, but when I was there I was enjoying every second cause I was with good fun people it was so great!!

Then yesterday when I got home from work I went to the gym and the whole time in the gym I was only thinking about who I was going o stay with or what I was going to do. Then I starting thinking about what my ex is doing. So I come to the conclusion I am just worrying about meeting new males and females because I have a hard time starting and keeping conversation. I was so bored last night I went to unos alone and didn’t really speak at all to the females passing even thought I wanted to. I feel this is my problem If I was meeting new people and had a lot of friends I would be fine.

That’s what I need help with.


I am learning a lot about myself and that's the biggest thing I need to work on

[talaniman]

The learning process is painful and frustrating sometimes, as your finding out. Have courage and be patient with yourself and the next time you see a pretty girl or anyone for that matter, look them in the eye and smile and say hello, how are you. A great practice and confidence builder. Your on a good path, keep it up.

[chris28]

Thank you I feel good about myself. It just has its ups and downs when its good its reall good but when I feel down I really feel down...