YOU NEED TO ACCEPT JESUS NOW OR YOU WILL DIE A SINNER AND BURN IN HELL! JESUS IS YOUR ONLY HOPE, YOU ARE COMPLETELY WORTHLESS AND HOPELESS WITHOUT HIM! REPENT! REPENT! REPEEEENNNNNNTTTT!
Haha, just kidding.
I know where you're coming from. I was raised Catholic- usually not as bad, because Catholics are more along the 'I go to church on sundays so I'm good, even though I slept through mass and gave some guy the finger pulling out of the parking lot' types of believers. But in my case, my mom has worked for the church since I was about 7 or 8, either in a church or as a theology teacher in a catholic school- so I was brought up to believe that if I didn't believe, something was wrong with me. Since she got a degree in theology and was also into the intellectual end of religion along with the experiential, it was okay to question things, but I had to always come back to church teachings and try my damnedest to align my beliefs with what the church teaches- but why, if I disagree?
When I came out of my own closet about three years ago (not the atheist one, the gay one) it caused such an uproar... my religious beliefs are pretty ambiguous to my family right now- I don't think they know much of where I stand in that arena. I figure that if they already think I'm burning in hell cause I'm a dyke, it may cause them to spring into a dangerous panic to know that I'm a dyke who doesn't believe in Jesus! I'll let the dust settle a bit before I bring that into the open- unless it comes up, in which case I have no intention of hiding anything either. But I'm letting them experience their disappointment in me in small, steady doses if possible.
But, over time, I've come to see how sad it is the way that so many Christians/Catholics think... if I am myself I am weak, but if I suppress myself to be who I'm told I should be... now that makes me strong and a warrior for Christ!
Come on now! Where's the logic in that?
Oh wait, logic isn't what I need... it's faith!
Which often just means 'I don't understand, but I need answers... so I must accept this since it's all I know'-
I used to try to 'straighten' my life out (pun intended!)- prayed, cried, pleaded with god, dated guys to try and do what's 'right' and then hoping the feelings would eventually come once I was in the situation... needless to say, it doesn't work. Ex-gays are just gays who can't take the pressure of those who disapprove, or who have been convinced that WHO THEY ARE is so disgusting (isn't that sad, for people who believe in a LOVING god?)... and they decide to stop being themselves to appease the church, their friends and family, and this oh-so-loving god who created them with an eternally damning defect. Is that love? From the church, friends, family, or god? I don't think so!
I'm not an atheist myself- I'm agnostic. I don't think we can ever really say with any certainty that there is or isn't a god, let alone know anything about him/her/it- people who attempt to do so and convince others of it always come across as being either arrogant or ignorant, in my opinion.
I am definitely a proponent of 'to each his own' and I believe what I believe, you believe what you believe, and we all can coexist, discuss, debate... but when it comes down to it, I don't desperately NEED you to agree with me.
I think THAT is more the sign of insecurity in your beliefs, more so than being upset and irritated by those who push their beliefs on you. What's with the desperate need for someone else to believe the same? Why are different beliefs such a threat? Why is doubt such a bad thing?
I don't know- as you said, your post was more of a way of venting your frustrations than an actual question. And I think my answer was more of my own venting than an actual answer.
Don't know if you'll get anything out of this... but I figured I'd post my thoughts.
|