[Clough]

Are you afraid that if you ask her out, that she will say "No?"

I mean, it really does look like that she is showing some interest in you.

[zend_out]

Yes.

[Clough]

Have you asked very many girls out?

[zend_out]

I've asked more than a few out. And have had relationships. But there's something about this chick. She may be the one.

[Clough]

I've asked more than a few out. And have had relationships. But there's something about this chick. She may be the one.

Could be. I know the feeling there also. When she has goofed around with you, do you also goof around with her?

[zend_out]

Yes. She's fun to hang out with.

[Clough]

When is the next time that the two of you will be working together?

[zend_out]

I don't know.

[Clough]

I don't know.

Okay.

What do the two of you individually do at work?

Have you ever had a woman say "no" to you when asking one out on a date?

[zend_out]

We do sales. Some have said no some have said yes.

[Clough]

So, you do know what it's like to face rejection. That's good!

I think that you ought to give yourself permission to ask her to do something with you, be it lunch or whatever. Just put the former lunch incident behind you.

What do you mean about being out of your element in your comment that you made awhile back?

We actually had lunch once before when I first started working there. She asked me to go with her. I went but had no I had no cash. She actually gave me some of the food she had gotten. But I was kind of out of my element back then. And I mucked it up.

[zend_out]

I meant that I was on guard that day. I didn't talk much.I have trouble revealing things to people that I've just met.

[Clough]

My next answer is going to be somewhat lengthy. I may even get cut off by this site because I might take too long in writing it. That happens here. I will come right back on. Okay?

[zend_out]

Okay

[Clough]

I am busy with writing my other response. But, I just wanted to ask one more question before I submit my other response. Does her boyfriend work at the same place that you and she do?

[zend_out]

No he doesn't work with us.

[Clough]

No he doesn't work with us.

Thanks! I'm almost done with my other answer.

[zend_out]

Almost done? I'm tired.

[Clough]

I meant that I was on guard that day. I didn't talk much.I have trouble revealing things to people that I've just met.

The following isn't some perfect answer for you. I can't be in your shoes, but I do know what it feels like to be in them, because I have been in similar situations. I would like to support and see you through this.

When people are first getting to know one another, it's not necessary to be revealing everything about yourself. It's actually okay to be just a little bit guarded. You can just chit-chat and choose to talk about subjects that aren't very "heavy." There's no need to be getting really serious about things at the beginning. Just take it easy and continue to have fun with her like you already have been. That last one is important: "...continue to have fun with her like you already have been."

You sound like someone who really likes to analyze things. I am the same way. I used to write down things that were said between myself and someone in whom I was interested. I was driving myself crazy because I just didn't know some things! If only I would have just asked the other person!

These are the things that we definitely know right now. She does like you. She is interested in you, otherwise she wouldn't be showing you the interest that she has in you by doing the things that she does to you. If she is really that serious about her boyfriend, then she wouldn't be doing the things that she is to you. She would definitely be more "guarded" in her behavior as well as the things that she says. Telling you a lot about herself might mean that she needs someone who will show her the caring, support and attention that she is seeking. Maybe her boyfriend is not providing her those things. Or if he is, maybe it is not enough or not in the way that she would like. She has asked you out to lunch with you previously. There's nothing wrong with you asking her out. Please give yourself permission to do that. You won't know what her answer will be until you do ask her. You already know what it's like to be accepted as well as rejected.

But, like you, I am analyzing things in the above paragraph.

Ask her out, man! I know that you can do it and also accept whatever she says. Part of the things that our lives are built around is making choices and then dealing with the costs and benefits of making those choices. And, I'm not talking about the costs in terms of money here.

I've been rejected many times when I have asked a woman out. It doesn't mean that I couldn't still do things work-wise or continue further in whatever activities in which we might happened to be involved in together.

Are you going to ask her out?

[zend_out]

I'm going to see if I can get some shifts with her so that I can hang with her more and then ask her out. Should I just do it the next time I see her?