[thisisjo]

I know this is really silly and I am only 21 but I am really down at the moment. My boyfriend of two years just recently (3 months ago) broke up with me and I love him like crazy. I was and still am crazy in love with him but he has already met someone else... I genuinly think she is a rebound, she is totally unatractive and from what I have seen isn't that nice either. Me and him were like soul mates, we still make each other laugh now and we still love each other and fancy each other.. The spark has just gone. I know that if the situation was to change and we were both to live our own lives for a good while then there is a great chance of happiness between us but the problem is I feel really insecure right now. I know I'm attractive but I'm starting to doubt myself because why would he chose to get with such an unatractive short dumpy red head (totally not his type) over me? He still says I'm stunning and hot? I am tall blonde blue eyes, and have a slim curvy figure. (everything he loves) and we get on like best friends and are really attracted to each other? I think he may be scared of how close we were and we are only 21, we were going for a mortgage and talked about kids and marrige a lot, I guess this new girl comes with no strings. I don't know, I feel I should move on for now but I know that runis chances for our future? Or possible future.. or does it? Is it a good chance to see if he isn't the only man for me or if he is? A good chance for him to see if he really wants to spend his life with me or he can be happy with someone else?

Because of all this I have begun to doubt myself? If I'm attractive as everyone tells me and am a nice girl like I am always told then where are all the men that want to take me out? Why has he found someone straight away when everyone tells me he's unatractive? I know its not all about looks but its human nature and nobody can deny that. Has he gone for such an unatractive girl because its easy??

Im scared that I will never find anyone that I will be happy with as much as him or that nobody will want to be with me, I was seeing this new guy for a few weeks and I felt nothing he's a nice guy but I tried and all I could do was compare him to my ex..

COuld I be on my own forever?

Will a new relationship ruin chances of a futrue with my ex if I realise he's still what I want?

The thing is we broke up before and he came back he missed me too much.. Im 95 % certain he will come back again but I can't afford the pain and hurt to wait and I refuse to do it.

HHHHHHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP
p.s has anyone else been through this? Do people always think they will never find anyone again that they love that much or are that happy with?

[s_cianci]

As the old saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Especially if you don't chase after and pursue them after they've run off, they then start to miss you so they come back. Just remember to keep the ball in your court and don't give your power away.

[illmatic]

I did that to my hoe

[sexyed]

You will found someone but don't rush into finding that man do you really want to wait for that man he got cold feet with the mortgage and kids and the future you said he did this before he WILL do it again are you pepared to give him a chance after chance you can do better for yourself your young live your life and don't rush in to any commitment one day you will found someone but don't rush into a new relationship just because he did its not a competition wait till your over him properly and then find someone for yourself there are plenty of men out there and one of them will be the right one for you

[thisisjo]

What if you have pursued them and chased them, Is it too late or can you turn it around? Could it be even more powerful because of greater impact? Maybe they expect this chasing to carry on and when it stops... They wonder if maybe its possible you have moved on then they worry?

[little firefly]

From my past experiences men always run off and break your heart to the point where you go out of your mind with heartbreak... why is it that they always come running back when the pain starts to ease and you start to move on??

All I know is if that's true then let me find a place to hide!! I'm feeling better than I have in a long time and I will be ****** (I censored myself so the moderators won't have to, hehe) if I'd let my ex come back in and ruin it for me!!

[in a state]

I guess it's one of Murphy's law or something... when you don't want it anymore,it comes after you

[talaniman]

The same thing happens to men, and this site bears witness to that.

[talaniman]

This is your 3rd question today, and you are very dramatic. Stop relax, breathe.

[ejw1403]

This isn't really an "answer" to your question, but I feel the same way. I thought I met the love of my life, we broke up 3 months ago also, and now he has a new girlfriend. I don't know which way to turn and I feel like he was the only guy in the world for me, and I'm so afraid to meet someone new. I hope it makes you feel better to know that you're not the only one who's going through this, because your question is pracically identical to my situation. Good luck!

[talaniman]

Not to be harsh to either of you but I think you both had invested too much emotionally in your relationships with some very high expectations of it never ending. Young loves often teach us lessons we take with us forever, and one is dealing with reality, and coping with your feelings in a positive way. I hope you both can heal and learn, and chalk this up to experience, and move on. Love yourself enough to not make anyone your whole world, and keep your life balanced with other things that make you happy. See the links in my signature for some good ideas about what to do when a relationship is over. Good luck to you both.

[thisisjo]

OK so here it is... me and my ex boyfriend of two years broke up about 3 months ago now... I have been really hurt as he has been seeing sommebody else from pretty much right away.. in fact he kissed that girl in the last week of our relationship and now he is with her... he broke up with me.. So basically this guy that works for my ex who is also a friend of his is interested in me and I am in him too.. I know its not practical but my ex is away on holiday with his new girl and has made it pretty clear he doesn't want me. Why should I spare his feelings when clearly he didn't spare mine.. They are not really good mates just works mates.. I do still love my ex though and hope one day things can be different between us... I don't know what to do I do really like this new guy! Help x I would really appriciate some feedback as I'm dead worried

[EuRa]

Yeah. You are pretty confused. You may like this new guy, but his perception is skewed for many reasons. He is linked to your ex. He would be a rebound. It would be like getting "revenge". Etc.

You can date this guy and be with him for a while, as long as you are HEAD STRONG and you know that it probably won't amount to anything more than a fling. You should also be honest with him, about your feelings that still remain for your ex, and your uncertainty of dating. If you do that, everything will be much better.

I wouldn't go that route. I'd find someone else. But it's your call hun. Just know what you're getting into and be honest about it for everyone's sake and you'll be better off.

[maranello]

I am also in the same situation, mine also left me for another guy and one that has a lot more money _ so he can do many more things for her! Does this wake you up real fast! Says a lot about her character. I agree that it takes time to heal, but Don't think about the time it takes, do a lot of the things that people here have recommended, daily, every hour, and though it is hard to think of yourself you must force yourself t do it _ you did not come to this earth with anyone and you're not going out with anyone! You came here by yourself and it is incumbent upon you to take great care of who you are! The BIG YOU, if other people define you, you are already losing! _ you have to define yourself and the great person that you are; so you have to rise above all this every day and become the BIG YOU that you really are.

One more thing, and I say that to myself every day: let them go, let them go to someone else, it is really one of the few ways that they can appreciate what they had with you _ or _ if not, then you and them were not meant to be at this point in time. And just as they went to be with someone else you will too, but when you do you will be a BIGGER and BETTER person! _ I think its only through heartache and misfortune that our REAL PERSON comes out, it doesn't come out when were on vacations, or restaurants or going shopping!