[talaniman]

My apologies to all, but sometimes I have to be harsh to get the real facts.

I honestly don't know what to do right now

You should back off and define your boundaries much clearer (NO SEX). You should also know that it was obvious you left certain facts out of this story. She wants something from you that you are not ready to give, her a home. As long as you continue to have sex (was that Left out?) and take her home this will not work. You may be Mr. Nice guy to her, but can't you see she wants more from you??

[THATguy23]

Things have been going great this week. We've been hanging out a little bit everyday, ever since we hung out on Sunday and got into a huge argument - which lead to a lovely make-up. :D We talked everything out and things have been great ever since.

[Homegirl 50]

So what did you two decide to do?

[appleteeth]

I'm curious what your astrological signs are?

[indecipher411]

I'm with a girl I really care about, I'm 21 and in college and she's 19 and she's not really in school, but she is taking one class at the local community college and she's done her financial aid paperwork in order to register in the Spring.

We've only been together for 4 months or so, but this is the most serious relationship I've ever been in and I really think I'm in love and I know she loves me as well.

Anyway, about a month ago we got into a fight outside her house (not a physical fight, I would never put my hands on her), it was supposed to just be me and her, but her mom wound up waking up and coming outside, I always respected her mother, but on this night I didn't say anything to her, I just drove off, because I was pissed off.

Well, her mother was so mad about it that she told her daughter that I'm not allowed over her house any more. Two days after the fight we went to the movies and she lied to her mom about who she was with, because her mom was still mad at me, but we wound up having really great night. A couple nights later, I came by to pick her up and hang out with her again, this time her mother asked her where she was going and when she said she was going to see me, they got into an argument and her mother told her if she leaves, to give her the keys to her house.

Well, she left anyway and spent the night with me. Her mom was like really pissed off and really acting like she was kicking her out of the house, so I told her she could stay with me until her mom cools off. So, she went back to her house and got some clothes and stuff when her mom wasn't there, and she stayed with me for about a week and a half, her and her mom had made up by then, but she never asked to go home. It's almost as if she was trying to move in with me. One night I had to study for a quiz, I just up and took her home. She was mad and sad at the same time, that I would just take her home like that. And I honestly kind of liked the week we spent together, so I start letting her stay over 3 or 4 nights a week and just taking her home on nights when I really had a lot of work in school.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I had a quiz to study for, and she was on my computer studying flash and dreamweaver (she loves to design websites and wants to go into web design or computer programming of some kind). I was very proud of her and felt like she was being productive and so I studied in the chair on the other side of the room, while she did her stuff on the computer.

After that, I realized I can study with her here and not be bothered or distracted. She'll never ask to go home, it's as if she wants to be around me 24/7, and she's here so much, it's gotten harder for me to ask her to go home, especially now that I can study and do my work with her here - it's like I don't even have any more good excuses to take her home.
But she's been here for two and a half weeks straight without spending a single night at her house and she's only spent like 5 or 6 nights total at her mom's house in the last month, so, it's like she moved in and she's started to get annoying. Like it seems every little thing I do or say is wrong or stupid, but she's starting to drive me crazy. I can't even be myself, like I can't listen to my stereo and listen to stuff I want to listen to, because she "don't wanna hear that song, turn that off!" or even watch the stuff on TV I want to watch, because the stuff I watch is "stupid" according to her. I just want time to myself again. Between school, work and her - it's like 3 full time jobs. I'm a full time student, she's taking one class right now like I said at the community college - every morning at 7:30, so I like to let her stay here and use my car to go to her class and then come home and take me to my classes and pick me up from my classes after school so I don't have to take the shuttle. I also like the fact that she can use my computer for web design (her computer at her house is 4 years old, and I just bought my computer in May). But she doesn't have a job, so it's not like she's helping out on rent or anything - and she's costing me more money than just living by myself, because it's groceries for two now, and all the gas she consumes driving my car.

I love her, but this is all getting to be too much for me. I just want some more free time to myself, and I've never even been in a relationship before, so this is my first relationship and I'm starting to feel like it's just moving waayy too fast. Why are there curling irons and maxi pads in my bathroom??? Her clothes are in my closet! I feel like it's my fault for letting her stay this long, I let her get comfortable, if I ask her to go home and tell her I need some time off I feel like she may take it the wrong way.

I don't want to break up, but I'm scarred that the way I feel and the way I act in this situation could lead to that if I'm not careful. I feel like I need the relationship to just slow down a little, but I think she's incapable of "taking it slow". Like the other day, she was talking about buying a dog together and he could be our baby - when I think of stuff like that all I see is dollar signs. I don't even have enough room in my apartment for a dog and I love dogs and we always had dogs growing up, but I don't feel like I'm ready for a dog of my own quite yet.

All and all, I just don't know what to do or where to go with this relationship, but I know it's starting to really be too much for me, especially her living here, when that was never really my intention - I just wanted to provide her someplace to stay while her and her mother cooled off.

Don't let her run your life. Don't confuse infatuation for love. No one in love tries to run your life. A girl in love ACCEPTS you, and understands the reality of financial problems. If you can't sit her down and tell her all this without her freaking out, you and she are too young/immature/self-absorbed to have a serious relationship. Please don't take that the wrong way... it's just the way it is.

[THATguy23]

im curious what your astrological signs are?

I'm an Aries and she's a Cancer.

So what did you two decide to do?

She's back at home, but she's staying over here 2 or 3 nights a week and we she's at home, I'll go over there for an hour or two to just hang out with her. If I'm real busy and not going to be over there for a day or so, I just let her know in advance.

[appleteeth]

Hahah I knew she was a cancer, they can cramp your style a bit sometimes