[christymoro]

Response to chery here I don't know what type of almighty guru you are but Im giving him advice that I feel he should adhere to!I know its harsh but its real life and I think your probably incapable of giving that type of advice as Id say your opinions are formed from what you see on computer or TV screens I reckon you should open your curtains and get out more too chery! :eek:

[Chery]

response to chery here i don't know what type of almighty guru you are but Im giving him advice that I feel he should adhere to!I know its harsh but its real life and I think your probably incapable of giving that type of advice as Id say your opinions are formed from what you see on computer or tv screens I reckon you should open your curtains and get out more too chery!! :eek:

Boy what a way to react when you are wrong - that's real grown up! I've been there, done that. And you have a lot of years to catch up! There are more ways of communicating without using ingnorant language, but maybe that's all YOU know about life - to be foul-mouthed. My life is fine and I smell the roses, but unfortunately also the s*** from people like you.

[christymoro]

Well I'm terribly sorry my articulate friend but I don't feel the need to over-elaborate when I am giving my opinion. Im 20, Outspoken and get to the point I don't have to write extravagant words to get my point across as you already have shown by replying to my posts on screen. I have the ability to, but I wouldn't like to confuse the other ignorant people like myself out there. I still stick to my first opinion as feeling sorry for himself is not really a good option lets face it pessimism and self pity wouldn't be the most attractive feature he has if he wants this woman back do you not agree?!

[steph1fl]

The same thing happened w/me and my ex of 3 yrs. I think that after being w/someone for such a long time you tend to get bored.some people act on that and others don't.towards the end of our relationship we weren't spending any time together.he was wanting to be with his friends and go out w/out me.he wanted to go out and see if he could get someone better and if he couldn't he would come home to me.if your ex wants to throw away a 4 year relationship to go have fun,then she's not worth it anyway.people are going to do what makes them happy,regardless of anyone's else's thoughts on it.my ex broke up w/me and I don't think he will ever feel the pain I feel now.hes doing what makes him happy-and so is your ex.its hard to give advice like this because I don't tend to practice what I preach but its your turn to make yourself happy. Girls love confident happy guys.when she gets sick of hanging out and she sees the grass isn't greener & tries to come back make her work for it.cause she will be back

[Chery]

Well im terribly sorry my articulate friend but I don't feel the need to over-elaborate when i am giving my opinion. Im 20, Outspoken and get to the point I don't have to write extravagant words to get my point across as you already have shown by replying to my posts on screen. I have the ability to, but i wouldn't like to confuse the other ignorant people like myself out there. I still stick to my first opinion as feeling sorry for himself is not really a good option lets face it pessimism and self pity wouldn't be the most attractive feature he has if he wants this woman back do you not agree?!!

I agree that some people are not as outgoing as most, but sometimes it takes tact. It's not always what you say to help someone , but how you say it. That's what I meant by your post 13 on this thread. You do have the ability to do better than that, as proven above. So, you do have an educated side - I like that one better, and it's only my opinion. Believe me, I too sometimes want to say it differently, but there are times and places when it's better to show some class. I'm a former military brat and I've learned all the worst words possible, but use them at home or with people I know personally. Thanks for the time you took to straighten out my opinion of you.

By the way, I do agree with you about this relationship, -which will be an experience learned- we all go through it.

[talaniman]

Sometimes we fall in love with people who have no clue what it is we are offering(BEEN THERE<DONE THAT).you cannot change someone to fit your needs.it is better to chalk it up and move on knowing YOU did the right thing! Think about it and see the wisdom of moving on! :cool: :rolleyes:

[Chery]

Sometimes we fall in love with people who have no clue what it is we are offering(BEEN THERE<DONE THAT).you cannot change someone to fit your needs.it is better to chalk it up and move on knowing YOU did the right thing!! Think about it and see the wisdom of moving on!! :cool: :rolleyes:

I agree with you dear, you can only change yourself.

The more experience you get, the better and easier it will be to just chuck it off to learning more about people, as there is no 'rule' for everyone to go by, otherwise the book would make millions. We all survive life and different relationships as best as we can, an pass on our experience. But this does not mean anyone has to follow. Good Luck and have a great future in spite of it all.
To all!

[DJ 'H']

When I was 19yrs old I did not go off the rails. I did that when I was 16yrs - when I thiought I knew it all - by the time I was 18yrs I had grown up a hell of lot. At 19yrs I was into partying hard and enjoying life - but then I always have been and still am today at 21yrs. I am not far off 22yrs and intend to be like that for as long as possible. That's why I am a DJ, wedding Co-ordinator. The entertainment industry suits me down to the ground because it's part of who I am. It has affected some of my past relationships but that is not down to me going off the rails that down to me being me. They could not accept that was me so all they did was try and change me. I want someone to like me for me not what they want me to be.

If that's what she wants than respect her for it - at least she was honest! All of us are growing and looking for something in life. She is only 19yrs old, she has a lot of living to do - things change. Its hard but she has reached a crossroads in her life and has gone in a direction to you. It's something we all learn from but you must let go of your anger and move on. Don't look back, look forward.

[DJ 'H']

I feel you on this one man. Going through the same thing (my EX just turned 21). After 5 years she is just going crazy, and let me tell you to just get over it NOW! I thought "hey, we are different than those other couples" WRONG! Maybe you will get back together, but just let her go NOW! I know it sounds impossible but its the best for YOU, trust me.

jeffatl

I know you have be 21yrs to drink alcohol in America - you only have to be 18yrs to drink alcohol in the UK.

I did the whole crazy thing at 16yrs old because I thought I knew it all - I knew better than my parents - started going out until stupid o'clock with my friends wanted to party all the time; I even drank under age (a common thing over here) but my friends and I never went stupid, we were sensible enough to know our limits.

I reached 18yrs (legal age to drink and finally a adult) and I stll loved to party ans stay out until stupid o'clock.

I am 21yrs old now (soon to be 22yrs) and I am still that way now. I am a party animal and love to enjoy life. I don't drink excessivly - hardly ever at all but I love socialising and the atmosphere that is created when going out and when I am DJing, 9 time out of 10 I end up at a house party after and may not make it home ti 5/6am if I make it home at all. That is all part of my personality; has nothing to do with my age. If people don't like it, it's their problem not mine. I totally resent that comment. Why should what your ex is like bother you - you obviously have a different personality and way of doing things - do you get cursed for it?? - It really bugs me that people have no respect or are unable to accept people for who they are.

Pete loves me just the way I am -we are like minded and he loves to come out with me whilst I am DJing. My friends are just like me and he loves it. He can be himself - he has just as much fun as the rest of us. He actually favours my friends above his own because they are more outgoing and don't care what anyone else thinks. We have similar personalities and are a great match- whereas some of my past boyfriends were not and all they did was moan at me for it and try to change me. My ex changed me and I became the most quiet, boring, misreable girl you could ever meet. My friends did not recognise me, my mum did not even recognise me.

Sorry if this seems a little aggressive, just really needed to express myself on this one. (I hope this does not offend anyone)

Dezi

Can you perhaps accept that maybe this is the real her - she has been holding back because she was unsure she had it in her to actually do as she wanted - perhaps she did feel safe and secure with you and she did not have the courage or confidence to actually do the things she wanted to do and now she does. Admittedly its awful after 4yrs of being in a relationship and it's obviously going to take time adjusting.

On the other hand, she may have troubles in her life you don't know about - self esteem issues - considering she tells you about how much weight she has lost repeatedly; maybe this is her way of coping and making herself feel better??

She is obviously going to miss you after you have been there for her for 4yrs whatever her reasons are.

Either way just accept that this is her at the moment and just try to do things for yourself and move on.

Goodluck!