[cjnvgq]

[QUOTE=huno]

Guys aren't meant to take things slow


Are you sure all the guys aren't meant to take things slow?
This is questions I want to know.

If slow, does it mean there is no love?

[JonLR92]

No way if they do happen to take it slow it may be out of inexperience, don't ever leave a guy because you think he's taking it too slow, tell him first, give him a chance

[huno]

Are you sure all the guys aren't meant to take things slow?
This is questions I want to know.

If slow, does it mean there is no love?

She's not marrying him, she just wants to see a movie...

[talaniman]

Ooooh, no, I have to disagree with you (your sig says I should tell you, so don't yell at me afterwards).
No problem, this is better than a reddie with no explanation, and more respectful I might add.
Guys aren't meant to take things slow: we drive fast, play hard, eat big and fart loud. 0-60 in 5 seconds? Try 0-2394875 in yesterday.
You have to give a female and yourself time to pay attention to each other and get to know each other and not just jump into something following your heart and end up in an emotional chaos. You can also think and make sure of your own motives and feelings and slow develops the bond that makes the relationship happy and fulfilling as well as fun. The big reason for going slow, you can see the red flags waving and avoid the traps and pitfalls of a relationship, and avoid the crash and burn of moving into areas you may not be ready for. Slow gives you time to be honest with yourself and is a good lesson for both partners to know. Even race cars have brakes.

[confused11]

Hey guys! Thanks for the advice. I think it is a good idea to take things slow, get to know him and stuff. I haven't seen him since I asked him to hang out but he did write me a message on myspace, so I guess he's not weirded out after all? I guess if he was he would have avoided me, right? Maybe he just wants to be friends, which is fine I guess. But then I still don't get why he wouldn't want to hang out...

[sony-dude1994]

When ever I talk to a girl that I like I don't no what to talk about. He probably doesn't want 2 say the wrong thing to you.

[sony-dude1994]

If u have msn can I have it

[talaniman]

but then I still don't get why he wouldn't want to hang out...

He probably has never done it, and doesn't want you to think he is a dope or something. Just cause he's cute doesn't means he is experienced or mature.

[huno]

I think it is a good idea to take things slow, get to know him and stuff.

For the record, I didn't ACTUALLY mean you should jump on him or let him have at the twins. :) But I just think that, for the short-term goal of watching a movie, just go in there guns blazing. Going to watch a movie, getting coffee, having lunch together--THAT'S when you get to know him and the ultimate goal of developing a relationship should be slow-paced.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if a cute girl I'd never seen before walked up to me and asked me to join her for coffee, I'd go for it without hesitation.

But if the same girl asked me to be her BF the next day, I'd say no.

He probably has never done it, and doesn't want you to think he is a dope or something. Just cause he's cute doesn't means he is experienced or mature.

Yup. I whole-heartedly agree. I still think confused11 should be going after him more aggressively, though.

[confused11]

For the record, I didn't ACTUALLY mean you should jump on him or let him have at the twins. :) But I just think that, for the short-term goal of watching a movie, just go in there guns blazing. Going to watch a movie, getting coffee, having lunch together--THAT'S when you get to know him and the ultimate goal of developing a relationship should be slow-paced.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if a cute girl I'd never seen before walked up to me and asked me to join her for coffee, I'd go for it without hesitation.

But if the same girl asked me to be her BF the next day, I'd say no.



Yup. I whole-heartedly agree. I still think confused11 should be going after him more aggressively, though.

How much more aggressive can I get?:confused: I'm always talking to him, complimenting him, asking him questions, I even hugged him a couple of times... well actually he hugged me first, then I hugged him the next time I saw him... and he told me a while ago that we would hang out, and then when I ask him too, he totally blows it off. So yeah, I don't know. I'm starting to loose hope... I mean the only thing that's left for me to do is to go up to him and be like listen I like you we should get it on... but that might freak him out.:)

[huno]

how much more aggressive can I get?:confused: im always talking to him, complimenting him, asking him questions, i even hugged him a couple of times...well actually he hugged me first, then i hugged him the next time i saw him... and he told me a while ago that we would hang out, and then when i ask him too, he totally blows it off. so yeah, i dont know. im starting to loose hope...

Well there should come a time where you have to give up and move on... I still don't think it's quite there yet.

It may be he's not interested... or he may simply be shy. And neither situation is really all that great. See, this guy may be really shy and inconfident, so you should give him reassurance that you really want to be in his company.

But at some point this guy's got to start taking the initiative. If he never does and you have to keep prodding him, you have to ask yourself: do I really want to deal with that?

Ask him again. Gentle, but firm: say you really want to check out a movie with him. Be nice and flirty with him, make sure he understands you're interested. If in a week the date hasn't happened, let him wallow in his own misery and find yourself a real man. :cool:

[talaniman]

Maybe the straight approach is what you need, and just ask him what's holding him back, and how come you aren't hanging out or going to movies?

[confused11]

OK. So I think I got my answer today... I saw the guy today. We work for the same company but at like totally different branches so we don't actually work together or anything, but anyway there was like this work event thing that we were both at... so anyway, I was playing it cool, to see if he would avoid me or what not... so as soon as he sees me he comes over and starts talking, asks me if I got his myspace message and stuff, and we just had a really good conversation about movies and stuff like that, so everything was cool... then he had to go to do something so I went and started talking to other people, my friend was there too (the one that thinks the guy likes me) so I'm talking to him and then we just kind of like started play fighting and doing silly stuff, because we're just good friends and we joke around... so then my crush comes back and he sees me play fighting with my friend, and I stopped right away because I didn't want him to think I was flirting with other guys or whatever, but anyway he comes over and then tells my friend how he has 3 dates this week. Right in front of me!! He was like yeah I'm going to be so broke, I'm going on three dates, but I'm going to end it with this one girl and all this stuff. And I was like totally speechless. I mean I've known him for a while now and every time I ask him what he's been doing and stuff, he always just says he's been working a lot and stuff like that. He's never mentioned any dates or girls and now he has 3 dates?
So I'm guessing that it was just a HUGE hint to me that he is not interested? Or he is trying to make himself sound better, like he has all these girls, but that would just be seriously stupid. I mean do guys do that?
I don't know, either way, I think I'm wasting my time with this guy.. agh I just really like him a lot :(

[mckenzie134]

Drop off completely you sound way to keen. He probably doesn't actually realise your interested but even if he does your scaring him away. Next time he speaks to you tell him yourve got a date on thje weekend. Even if you have to say something like the guy isn't that great but he's really sweet I'm going to give him a chance.

YOU MUST DO THIS show no fear let him know your in demand

[sGt HarDKorE]

Im only 15 but my friends and I have big egos. We try to get as much dates as possible and we want to impress our g/f's. We will lie to try to make ourselves look better when we are really just insecure. I don't think you have ever been in a guys locker room. We talk about a lot of stuff to try to impress our friends too. Basically just be nice to him and let him know that you are interested. He may just be jealous that you and your friend have such a close relation. Don't take anything from him. Personally I always seem to like the girls I can't get, so play hard to get in a way. Basically be nice but don't act obsessed with him.

[confused11]

Drop off completely you sound way to keen. He probly doesnt actually realise your interested but even if he does your scaring him away. Next time he speaks to you tell him yourve got a date on thje weekend. Even if you have to say something like the guy isnt that great but hes really sweet im gunna give him a chance.

YOU MUST DO THIS show no fear let him know your in demand

Well I don't know how I'd be scaring him away. I mean he does all the flirting, I just respond to him, he's always teasing me about the guys I like, about movies I like, basically everything. I try to ask him questions and compliment him and stuff like that, so he must know Im interested... and he mentioned hanging out before so that's why I had the courage to ask him to go check a movie... but I mean he did kind of blow that off, and now he is talking about all these dates he has... so obviously he is dating but doesn't want to catch a movie with me?? I'm thinking it's a pretty clear sign to leave him alone.

[confused11]

Im only 15 but my friends and i have big egos. We try to get as much dates as possible and we want to impress our g/f's. We will lie to try to make ourselves look better when we are really just insecure. I dont think you have ever been in a guys locker room. We talk about alot of stuff to try to impress our friends too. Basically just be nice to him and let him know that you are interested. He may just be jealous that you and your friend have such a close relation. Don't take anything from him. Personally I always seem to like the girls i can't get, so play hard to get in a way. Basically be nice but don't act obsessed with him.

Hey there. You're a pretty wise man for only being 15;)
The thing that confuses me about him, is that a few weeks ago, he was all telling me how he has no self confidence and how he is this huge nerd and he is a horrible athlete and stuff like that, so I don't think he's be saying those things if he was trying to make himself sound better... but now like 3 weeks later he has all these dates, that he never mentioned before. Its kind of weird to me. But maybe he is just saying that so id leave him alone. I don't know.

[sGt HarDKorE]

I do not think he wants you to leave him alone. If he did, most likely he would then avoid you. Maybe he is trying to get sympathy from you. I do not know him but maybe it is how he acts when he's around you. I act different around girls and espesically ones I like. I do a lot of stupid stuff. Maybe his is trying to make you feel sorry for him. If you are sick of waiting for him to make a move, try to make a move. Keep trying to have "dates" because he may just be shy. Go to the movies with some co workers and invite him. You do not talk much in movies so he may be more comfortable and he will eventually get use to you being around him. I think I can help you if he is shy, as I am shy, so I know all about breaking the ice, but I do not want to go into that if that is not the problem.

[confused11]

I do not think he wants you to leave him alone. If he did, most likely he would then avoid you. Maybe he is trying to get sympathy from you. I do not know him but maybe it is how he acts when hes around you. I act different around girls and espesically ones i like. I do a lot of stupid stuff. Maybe his is trying to make you feel sorry for him. If you are sick of waiting for him to make a move, try to make a move. Keep trying to have "dates" because he may just be shy. Go to the movies with some co workers and invite him. You do not talk much in movies so he may be more comfortable and he will eventually get use to you being around him. I think i can help you if he is shy, as i am shy, so i know all about breaking the ice, but i do not want to go into that if that is not the problem.

Well, he is pretty shy. I mean the first few weeks after I met him, he barely talked. He would always hang out by me and talk to everyone else around me but wouldn't talk to me unless I asked him a question. But know he seems totally comfortable talking to me, he is the one that's always initiating conversation and making jokes and finding ways to tease me, so it seems like he is out of his shell somewhat.. . yeah I figured a movie would be good, since we both love movies, that's why I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie, he said he would let me know, and then time went by and he never called or anything, and today was the first time I've seen him since then and even though he didn't act weird or try to avoid me like I thought he might, he was all talking about all these dates he has. So it seemed like he was just hinting that he wasn't interested. But then I don't know why he would send me myspace messages and talk to me today if that were the case, he would try to avoid me? Right?

[sGt HarDKorE]

Yeah, I think he is just trying to prove something to you. Maybe he thinks that you feel sorry for him so he feels that he needs to prove to you that he can get woman.Me and this one girl talked a lot, flirted a lot, and joked around a lot, but as soon as I found out she liked me (like I didn't already know) I came a totally different person. I kind of stopped talking and tried to drift a way. Fortunately our friend kept making us do things together. Maybe you just need to have one of his friends kind of push him to go to the movies or w/e.