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    kirriky's Avatar
    kirriky Posts: 80, Reputation: 26
    Junior Member
     
    #21

    Jan 28, 2009, 12:47 PM
    I don't think it's about alcohol at all, it simply doesn't make any sense - if you have one beer on Monday, what does the next beer on Wednesday have to do with alcoholism, safety or health? It's just about you spending time with your buddies, having fun without her, leaving her alone and whatnot. It's selfish and controlling and you should put your foot down. In a healthy relationship both partners should be able to go out with their friends and have some sort of a private life. Maybe it's jealousy or insecutiry or whatever but she needs to accept you want to be alone with your friends sometimes.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
    Ultra Member
     
    #22

    Feb 2, 2009, 05:59 AM

    It doesn't make sense are you telling us the whole story green elephant?

    Have you ever had problems with alcohol?

    Has she?

    Has she been affected by family or friends with alcohol?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #23

    Feb 2, 2009, 06:33 AM

    Maybe I missed it, I scanned the thread,

    Did you ever have a seroious drinking problem,

    If so how long ago.

    If you had a seroius drinking problem, walking past a bar is a bad idea, drinking one beer is even a worst idea.

    So I did not see these questions answered.
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #24

    Feb 2, 2009, 12:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by neverme View Post
    It doesn't make sense are you telling us the whole story green elephant?

    Have you ever had problems with alcohol?

    Has she?

    Has she been affected by family or friends with alcohol?
    I had asked him that, and by his responses the way I understood it, the answer was no. There is more to it, but unless we get more info we can't give much more advice on this I don't think.
    Green Elephant's Avatar
    Green Elephant Posts: 106, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #25

    Feb 2, 2009, 11:59 PM
    I appreciate all the responses greatly. Since the last post, her and I have talked greatly on the subject, and it's come to this: She doesn't mind me drinking (Because I have never had a drinking problem whatsoever, and neither has she) But a lot of her friends have become somewhat "shady" and tend to have gone to bars more and more frequently as the years have passed.

    She doesn't like the typical "bar" and doesn't want me to make a huge habit of frequenting them. But I go once or twice a week generally, and only drink one while I'm there.

    Things have gotten a lot better since I took all the advice and really listened to her issues on the subject. So thanks again!
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #26

    Feb 3, 2009, 07:26 AM

    I'm glad you guys really talked about this and have come to an understanding.

    This story proves that communication is critical to the success of a relationship.

    Good Job and Good Luck!
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
    Ultra Member
     
    #27

    Feb 4, 2009, 08:33 AM

    Communication and compromise! They fix a multitude of problems!
    :)
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #28

    Feb 4, 2009, 08:46 AM

    She is treating you like a child who has no control over your own behavior.If you had a previous drinking problem,it would be justified but this is just controlling behavior for no apparent reason.She must have had someone in her past who abused alcohol and now she is afraid you will be next.

    If you wanted to go out and not have any drinks is there still an issue?If you don't really care for drinking you could go out and not drink alcohol.That would certainly solve the problem.Although I suspect she is limiting you because she feels she can get you out of the bar quicker if you are only having one drink. Sounds like a control issue and her possible fear you will meet someone else.
    You should not have to text her every half hour, you don't need a mother and you should have more freedom.She sounds scared.

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