[crue_boo]

Okay I REALLY DO understand what you guys are saying but I don't think you are understanding my situation and seeing things in all negativity. In almost everything there is positive and negative. When I ask for advice I don't want all negative thoughts.. or else I wouldn't bother asking... when someone is making a decision, they're supposed to look at the situation from all directions.. and THEN determine your choice. It seems to me like you guys are really nice and trying to help but... please just look at it from more than one view :).. . Okay I have a few things to correct you guys on... Homegirl50, yes slapping is abuse that's a no brainer but... I don't understand how you can believe that in order to be in love, there is never going to be anger. People slap people... not to hurt someone but to just let the person know that what they did, deserved a slap. Lol I don't know if that made sense... and my parents are allowing him to stay with me because there's no good reason why he shouldn't... he has no where else to go. Berrysweetncgurl, I do see what you're saying and you are right... but.. honostly slapping is defenitly not a problem in either of our minds lol.. its just a wake up call really. I slap him and he gets pissed but then he thinks and apologizes to me and lets me know that he took time to think that what he was doing was not good. And once he grows older he will have a job that makes money and the money situation will be over because he will have his money and I will have mine. I wouldn't need to take time off work because I don't plan on being pregnant anytime soon... and once I did decide to have a baby, we'd be grown enough to beable to support a family. We arnt trying to be adults , :) I wish I was but I haven't done anything to try to be an adult.. other than fall in love but that came on to me. And okay J_9 you need to take it down a notch hah. Like I said... me and my boyfriend both understand and agree with the fact that a non painful at all slap is just a wakeup call. Just like a cup of water being splashed in your face. Would you call the police because someone splashed water in your face. If my boyfriend was that much of a baby and called the police on me for a slap I would just laugh and be glad to leave him... I don't want to date a girly man Lol.. . and treeny... you're right I don't want to hear what you guys are saying but if you actually looked at things from my shoes and your shoes (which is how to give advice).. then I would consider a few opinions. I appreciate all your help but it just wasn't what I needed. Lol I do need counselling... but only for the money part. The slapping isn't even a concern:rolleyes:... And yes I have dated MANY MANY MANY other guys in my short time... believe me :eek:... but this is the guy that I keep insisting on giving a chance... isnt that for a reason? Love? He has to do with my money because we do everything together... but he decides to choose what we do together with my money.

If you guys think I'm being a brat or a snob Im really not trying to be lol I really do appreciate your opinions :D! Its not like I came here expecting everyone to be positive... because these days... no one is positive... ALWAYS negative... which is the case I am seeing here.:)

[talaniman]

You are so totally wrong. The so called love you feel is built on what?? Your wake up calls are what?? Come on, Abuse and dependency cannot produce a healthy relationship. Niether of you is healthy but you love each other (or think you do) because you are under the same roof and that in itself is totally unhealthy. Wake up and see what you actually are doing, justifying abuse to meet your needs and go along with your own way of thinking. That makes it okay huh>?? You will learn the hard way when you give him a wake up slap and he cold cocks you and busts your jaw. You don't have love dear, you have a very dysfunctional view of life and should get some help for you and your boyfriend. Sorry, but it will get much worse.

[J_9]

Tal, I can't add any more to what you said. It is quite apparent she is immature. She does not understand that you don't lay a hand on another person out of anger whether it is a slap or a punch, it is called domestic violence and can land her in jail.

I unsubscribe from this thread since it is apparent she does not want the advice we are giving. She is going to do whatever she wants to do no matter what we say.

[s_cianci]

The others have said it all. This is a dysfunctional, abusive relationship and no amount of rationalizing is going to make it OK. You both need some serious counseling to confront whatever issues you two have acquired to make you believe that this sort of thing is normal or OK.