[talaniman]

gigily disagrees : Fun part is always there, but I need to know if I can have long term fun with this person or not. The deal is the decision that is going to effect my life.

What are we supposed to be psychics? No one can tell if you will be happy with this guy forever, only you can. But if your afraid to take a risk, then stay home and bake cookies, or if he is too stingy for your taste why even bother with the guy. I mean come on if he doesn't meet your standards or his bike can't hold you both then its up to you to tell him you don't like his style.

You can always hold out for a more modern kind of guy, who puts up with what you think you deserve, but NO ONE but you can tell you what to do.

Get off your high horse, and accept him for what he is, or dump the guy.

[tickle]

Oh, gigily, I agree with tal. You are asking the impossible, my dear. You are sitting on the fence right now thinking about all of this. What is it that has to push you off the fence one way or the other.

The fun in living is taking chances. You don't have to be with this guy for the rest of your life if you don't want to. You and he are just finding out about each other; unfortunately you found out that he likes saving his pennies and that is what is bothering you.

Unless you see something in him that holds you too him, and you wouldn't be posting here if you didn't, then just cut your losses (which will be considerable if he saves his money) and move on to someone that suits your play time better.

Life is loving, play, living,sharing, working together to commit, and if you love, absolute monogomy with the right person. If you don't see it here, then get off the fence.

Tick

[gigily]

Thanks for all the comments.It was all helpful and opend my mind. I found out that he is saving to buy a house and he took the metro-not bike- to my place finally. So, many guesses of you guys were right, but he is somehow stingy as well.for example he brought milk to my place last night for himself and today he took the extra milk from fridge back with him, it was just one glass of milk:((( Is n't it so cheap:(

[Homegirl 50]

He is what he is. You can either deal with it or you can't.
My ex husband saved slivers of soap and molded them together to reuse them. It used to gross me out.
I let him use his soap and I used mine. He was cheap in some ways had no problem spending money in other areas, so it evened out.
People spend money on what is important to them and they skim on what is not so important.

[jmjoseph]

If this is the only thing that you are concerned about with him, then consider yourself lucky. There is a difference between "cheap" and "frugal".

I work with a guy who is CHEAP. He is 41, still lives at home with his parents, and even though he has a new truck, he won't use the air conditioning in it because he thinks that it saves on gas(wrong). He sometimes travels with friends, as a "tag-a-long" guest(parasite).And doesn't offer to pay for ANYTHING. Once, when he was fixed up on a blind date, he refused to call the girl back because she ordered tea to drink instead of water. He tips 5% (if anything at all). He washes and reuses ziplock bags, tinfoil, and the like. He buys generic brand drinks by bulk for his family as "rent". He makes $90,000 a year, and has no plans to move out. He is waiting for his parents to pass on, and leave him their house. He constantly complains to us about taxes, the government, anything to do with HIS money. And in the same breath, he asks us for "hand- me-down" clothes. I say that I give mine to people who actually NEED them. Not to someone who probably has at least half a million dollars in the bank.

Your boyfriend seems a little more "normal" now, HUH?

It's a good thing that he wants to get his own place. Because you know what they say about rent don't you? It's 100% interest. You are paying someone else's bank note.

I, for one, have never had a problem with spending money on the woman in my life. When I was single, I enjoyed my income. I tasted life. I enjoyed making, and spending, money. I still do, but I save some too. There has to be a balance.

Good luck to you, and the sweaty guy on the bike.

[gigily]

Well, I've been seeig this guy, very cute and adorable and so far we had a good time together. But it's been a week that few times when I cook for him, he just said: I should marry you/ or How should I marry you, that seems to me half serious half kidding. Well it's too early to even talk about marriage but I don't know how should I react to him when he talk about marriage, if I say yes why not, will I look needy or demanding? I knoq guys freak out when girls talk about marriage but I think now I am the one who doesn't know what to say...

[Fr_Chuck]

Most likely just joking, and why do you have to respond to it at all, or merely say, time will tell, or in a few years.

[talaniman]

Keep it as a joke and don't get carried away. A smart remark like can you afford me? may make him cut that crap out.

[Just Looking]

I found that when I started dating guys in their 30's the subject of marriage did come up quickly. I think he could be gauging where you are at with marriage, or he wants to see if you are at the same place he is with readiness to settle down. He's probably happy to meet someone who seems to be putting up with his frugality. :D I agree with Tal that the way to handle it is with a funny remark.

[LivingtheLifeinFLA]

Just wondering, do you ever buy him dinner or drinks out, or do you expect him to pay?

The difference between cheap and frugal is who it effects. Example, you mooch off a friend and live rent free (CHEAP) or you rent a low end place yourself (FRUGAL). The first example effects who you are mooching off, the second effects no one but yourself. He takes the bus, frugal, he brings his own milk, frugal, he lives at home (potentially cheap, unless he has a loving family and they are supporting him building a foundation, the home purchase, then frugal.

Most of the time a spender and a saver will never make a good relationship.

Listening to your responses are why the US is screwed. Our economy has been run on credit for the last 20 years. People who have spent way more then they made.

When the depression happens you will be glad you are with this guy. He knows how to get by and not be wasteful. I think the person who needs to change is you.

My friend married a girl. Saved his whole life. After the marriage he found out she has 53k on her credit card and took away all her cards. She calls him cheap. He made her pay him 1k a month, which he put to paying off the card. She pays nothing to live in the house. The card is now paid off. She still calls him cheap. She is a worthless, disrespectful person spender brainwashed by advertising that makes you feel you are not important unless you have more things than your friends. It's all debt - get ready for the depression.

Here's the bottom line, are you happy spending time alone with him. Do simple things like taking a walk together to just talk make you happy? Are you a team?

[gigily]

Well, Thanks for all the comments. I ended the relationship. It was too hard for me to handle his life style. He was not responsible at all. That was a sad decision:( , but I found that I can't stand it for any loger though he was very cute and adorable. That's life...

[Homegirl 50]

It's good when you realized you could not deal with him you left.
That was a mature thing to do.