Check out some similar questions!

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by notsogreat

Please don't waste anymore time on this manipulative cheater. I was with my ex fiancee for ten years, and he cheated on me every few years. He like yours could be a sweetheart, promising me the moon and stars, and I lapped it all up, but guess what he did? I had a heartwrenching illness/surgery, and during my recovery he was making his move, he dumped me during my recovery, moved in with someone and is getting married. Guess what? He cheated on her too. I held on for years hoping he would change, but in the long run, I changed, and I will never go back again :)

What the H$$? I'm so sorry, I hope , not to be vengeful, that this type of person gets what they desrve for hurting us.

notsogreat · Feb 4, 2010, 12:11 PM

What the H$$? I'm so sorry, I hope , not to be vengeful, that this type of person gets what they desrve for hurting us.

The only revenge we need is to live our lives in a healthy way, and one day they will see the error of our ways. Our advantage to all of this, is that we gave with our hearts and souls 100%, we will never have to ask ourselves if we did enough, we in fact did too much. Hold your head up high, move on, and be happy. That is all you and I need in order to get the last word! Good luck!

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 03:55 PM

Don't do it because in his mind he's thinking you don't care what he does to you as long as he treat you right for a while and I hope that's not what your saying @ all. That's just my opinion I am not an expert or anything I make mistakes just like everybody else GOOD LUCK.

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by altenweg

do you really want to wait for the 3rd strike before he's out?

He's proven that he can't be trusted, so stop giving him a chance to keep hurting you.

Find someone that will give you the love and respect you deserve.

Exactly what she said

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by 1nl0v3withhim

don't do it because in his mind he's thinking you don't care what he does to you as long as he treat u right for a while and i hope that's not what your saying @ all. that's just my opinion iam not an expert or anything i make mistakes just like everybody else GOOD LUCK.

I don't plan on going back at all... HE is a selfish and narccistic person who has noo regard for anothers feelings.He only transfers feeling from one to another, its all about him. Its just sad when we try to give a person a chance to show love back and they end up hanging themselves.
I wonder if a person like that could ever realize and change, I don't want to be the one and only person he did that too because it would have me questioning what it is about me that would cause that. I doubt that's the casr, I'm thinking I may have been the only one after his ex wife who stuck around too long. His friend made that comment to me one night, wow, you are the ONLY girlfriend I have ever seen him with, u must be doing somethig right.. I don't think so, I'm the only one who bought the b.s.
I guess I wanted to believe he was capapble of being a GOOD man.. I was wrong.The main thing I tell myself here is that my mom passed away during this relationship and I was devastated at the loss, we were soooo close and I think he came into my life to distract me from that loss, although I was crushed and suffered a grest deal.. the be s he put me through sometimes made me kind of forget losing my mom.. I was dealing with my own real life.:(:confused:

Devorameira · Feb 4, 2010, 04:20 PM

He is worthless! You're smart hitting the road on this relationship. They say history repeats itself, so just move on and write yourself a new story with a new man that treats you like a queen.

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by unsurenow

I dont plan on going back at all...HE is a selfish and narccistic person who has noo regard for anothers feelings.He only transfers feeling from one to another, its all about him. Its just sad when we try to give a person a chance to show love back and they end up hanging themselves.
I wonder if a person like that could ever realize and change, i dont want to be the one and only person he did that too because it would have me questioning what it is about me that would cause that. I doubt thats the casr, im thinking i may have been the only one after his ex wife who stuck around too long. His friend made that comment to me one night, wow, you are the ONLY gf i have ever seen him with,,u must be doing somethig right..i dont think so,, i m the only one who bought the b.s.
i guess i wanted to believe he was capapble of being a GOOD man..i was wrong.The main thing i tell myself here is that my mom passed away during this relationship and i was devasted at the loss, we were soooo close and i think he came into my life to distract me from that loss, although i was crushed and suffered a grest deal..the b s he put me thru sometimes made me kind of forget losing my mom..i was dealing with my own real life.:(:confused:

You never cuased him to cheat on you because there's never a reason why a guy would cheat on you. I'm sorry about your mother, and please find a way to get over that grief and that lost surround yourself with positive people, people who are real and love you, people that care about your feelings and that will make you feel good and warm inside FORGET ABOUT HIM

Kitkat22 · Feb 4, 2010, 04:33 PM

Let him go and try not dwell on it. That's the only advice I can give.

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 04:49 PM

Thanku all again.. I am moving on and it does hurt... that he does nt really love me.

jmjoseph · Feb 4, 2010, 04:55 PM

I'm glad that you are ready to find someone who will treat you with respect.

Don't even give this guy another thought.

Go be happy.

Kitkat22 · Feb 4, 2010, 05:25 PM

Hope you stick to your word.

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Hope you stick to your word.

Me too

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 05:51 PM

I know I may be tempted if he keeps testing but I won't fall for it this time, unless it's a cold day in hell though lol

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 05:55 PM

If you feel tempted get on da web n here to talk to us even if we don't know each other we can still talk because we're here for you

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 05:56 PM

Thanks who the heck needs a real therapist we got this group thing going.

1nl0v3withhim · Feb 4, 2010, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by unsurenow

thx who the heck needs a real therapist we got this group thing going.

Lol yeah we do

Kitkat22 · Feb 4, 2010, 06:04 PM

The groups on all the catagorys are great. They have helped me through some pretty dreary days and I've only been on this site for a little while. God Love All Of You!

unsurenow · Feb 6, 2010, 04:56 PM

hi to all who were so honest. And kind enough to help me keep my focus straight. I'm back to talk about some deep feelings I have about the breakup. I guess since its going on week 8 I am still missing my ex. Last text I got(wed) was "can i ask u a question" in which an hour later I text back "?", (the next day)he replied "sorry i needed some info" I did not respond... I still don't believe it was about info though ,maybe just a way to keep me kind of hanging.Its really painful realizing its over with us, although he was an A^%% sometimes a part of me wishes I was still with him, everywhere I go there's something that reminds me of what we had, I know he has to rememeber stuff too.
I failed to mention the first time around, this man drinks alcohol everyday although its not to get drunk, I still believe it's a form of self medicating and another reason he had personality changes every few months. He also had a porn problem(in my opinion) and I believe when a man drinks all the time and looks at porn(both different forms of addiction)they are desensitized to women and have fantasies w almost each one they look at. I noticed at times when we would go out, a bartender would smile(duh they r supposed to) and he would actually feel like it was some type of invite.. I knew this just by observing his reaction. For one he was very upset that she forgot his order twice, what a shot to the EGO.. I guess I'm on here now because I still have sad days where I wish he'd come back like he did on 3 different other breakups, and beg me and promise to change and go to counseling and really do it this time.Im having such a hard time imagining he is distracted with someone new and what if he ends up marrying them.. I shouldn't even be thinking about him at all with all the pain he has caused me, what the hell is wrong with my emotions.

friend4u178 · Feb 6, 2010, 05:40 PM

Your over-analyzing which is very normal at this stage of the breakup. Just remember the pain you've already gone through and say to yourself do you really want to go back to square one and have that pain all over again??

He won't change , but he may tell you he can , like he's done before.

artlady · Feb 6, 2010, 05:53 PM

do cheaters deserve a 3rd chance?

Not in my book.

It happened to me years ago and I thankfully don't have to contend with it at 55 but I think it would still be a deal breaker,unforgivable.

I don't know for certain what I would do but I think if I loved myself enough I would really think twice as to why I was staying in this relationship.
Clearly there is a reason you stay,does it outweigh anything else ?
Highly doubtful.