[SarBak77]

Get rid of him. You would be hurting a lot of people in this case (the wife, the kids, yourself). Obviously, we don't know all the details, but it sounds like this dude has some problems with himself that he needs to work out. And the fact that he didn't leave his wife when he first starting having feelings for you, should say enough. What happens if in 10 yrs. He does the same thing to you? You can do better.

[happydays]

I wanted to thank everyone for their harsh but real reality checks. I never thought I would ever date a married man. I too was once married and valued the fact that my husband or myself never had to worry that the other would ever look to another. When I met my current relationship I was in a horrible divorce from my ex-husband and found comfort in him.
I know what I am doing is wrong, and for some reason it is slapping me in the face (hard). I was so blinded by the glitz and glam but now it is really bothering deep down in my heart, soul, mind, whatever. It seems everyday I am building up more and more anger and resentment and want a way out. I also think that if he can live this double life with her he can def do it with me. I am truly ashamed and knew the kind of replies I would get back, but am really glad not one person gave a positive response. Someone asked if my parents knew, but the answer is no! The sad thing is that all his family knows and actually say nothing because of his status / financial support he plays in their lives. I met his entire family in the first month of knowing him. This is probably why I was blind sided because his entire family says nothing and neither do all his friends, friends’ wives, or employees. Nobody says anything because he is a huge CEO and nobody dares to make him mad for the fact they might be left out of the dark financially. I realize this now that these people are not truly my friends and would lie and cover up for him if he ever decided to do this to me.
Since this post I have been brainstorming a few startup jobs I could do. Also, I use to be a network engineer before he came and made me pretty much a "kept woman". I know the hold he has on me financially because I have allowed him to take care of me. I feel that once I can take care of myself (which I have always done... even in my marriage) I can do it again and have to soon.
I am meeting with a counselor tomorrow to seek help in getting me out of my situation. Thank you again for making me see that I am not his true love, but a woman on the side.

[aqua@home]

I have just read through the responses and I have to agree that they were GREAT!! I am glad to hear that you are taking everyone's advice. I know you will feel much better about yourself and the person you are going to be. Take care.

[Skell]

Yes,
Good for you. You certainly have made some unwise and ill directed decisions in the past however you are showing a great strength and willlpower to admit you are wrong and are now trying to fix this mess.
I can only applaud the steps you have made so far and urge you to continue with and make good on what you say here.
Don't give in and go back because it gets too hard. You have to do this for the everyone's sake.
Good luck and keep us posted!

[momincali]

Your decision to continue dating this man knowing his situation was wrong. It made you feel secure during a time you really needed that security but that is not a justification. However, I am very happy to hear (read) the remorse in your post. Only good people feel guilt. There is something to be said about integrity and because of that, I would suggest if at all possible you leave him and everything he bought you and move in with a relative, parent, close friend, anyone who is willing to help you regain your strength until you can stand on your own two feet. I know it would be extremely awkward and uncomfortable to say the least, but you will walk away with something far greater that has no price tag, your dignity.

Again, thank you for your honesty. You posted here to confirm what you already knew, and there's nothing wrong with that, we all need support and encouragement sometimes. Even if it is from someone we have never met. Please keep us posted, we're here for you.

[ilovcali]

Yes, I applaud you for doing the right thing. You know you are. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you reach the light at the end of the tunnel, and that the tunnel is not too long. Also, I'm sorry I was harsh, but I'm glad you are doing what is right.

Man, this dude is a CEO? How can such massive jerks have such good lives? I mean, for what it's worth, his family life is fine for him, and he has the love of TWO women! Life really doesn't seem fair at all, for such a terrible person to have such a fulfilling life.

Well, you leaving him will hopefully be the first slap in this man's face. And hopefully there will be more. Maybe from his wife someday.

[chuff]

ilovcali agrees: Yes. Never in my life have I desired another woman when I was in a committed relationship. I loved the one I was with.

It is amazing isn't it? There are men who can and do love the one there with and they can't seem to get the chance and then there are guys like this who use and abuse women and the women can't seem to stop or let go. I don't have an answer to it (if such an answer exists) but happydays and other ladies out there you've got your choice between the good and the bad. Be strong and take a chance on the good guys.

[talaniman]

ilovcali agrees: Yes. Never in my life have I desired another woman when I was in a committed relationship. I loved the one I was with.

It is amazing isn't it? There are men who can and do love the one there with and they can't seem to get the chance and then there are guys like this who use and abuse women and the women can't seem to stop or let go. I don't have an answer to it (if such an answer exists) but happydays and other ladies out there you've got your choice between the good and the bad. Be strong and take a chance on the good guys.

I agree 100 per cent. Reality says that she is a dime a dozen . Sad isn't it but since you don't have the money to keep a woman , let a lone a woman and a family just take notes on how rich dudes do whatever, and poor guys like you (and me) can barely speak about it.

[chuff]

I agree 100 per cent. reality says that she is a dime a dozen . Sad isn't it but since you don't have the money to keep a woman , let a lone a woman and a family just take notes on how rich dudes do whatever, and poor guys like you (and me) can barely speak about it.

I know they say money changes people but I'd like to think that if I came into money I'd use it to support my wife and children not use it against them.

You don't have to be rich though, I work with a beautiful woman who is seeing a police officer with a 8 month pregnant wife. She is so naïve and believes him when he says that he's been trying to divorce her for over a year but can't now because of the baby. Several have pointed out that timeline doesn't make since but she doesn't listen. She makes all kinds of excuses and really believes that once the baby is born he's leaving his wife for her. Of course another excuse will come, then another and the cycle continues. I sit back in amazement because despite her stupidity is really a great person at heart.

[Krs]

Chuff sorry my rating should have said :-
I am so with you on this one chuff.. totally :)

[talaniman]

I know they say money changes people but I'd like to think that if I came into money I'd use it to support my wife and children not use it against them.

You don't have to be rich though, I work with a beautiful woman who is seeing a police officer with a 8 month pregnant wife. She is so naive and believes him when he says that he's been trying to divorce her for over a year but can't now because of the baby. Several have pointed out that timeline doesn't make since but she doesn't listen. She makes all kinds of excuses and really believes that once the baby is born he's leaving his wife for her. Of course another excuse will come, then another and the cycle continues. I sit back in amazement because despite her stupidity is really a great person at heart.

I do no know how great she is but her actions do have stupid written all over.

[Krs]

chuff agrees: No sweat....You know it's ok to be on the Chuff too. Be warned I do bite. ;)

You are a little flirt arnt you ;)

[chuff]

chuff agrees: No sweat....You know it's ok to be on the Chuff too. Be warned I do bite. ;)

You are a little flirt arnt ya ;)

Well, I can be if I'm in the right mood. Do you think you can put me in the mood? LOL!

[Krs]

Well, I can be if I'm in the right mood. Do you think you can put me in the mood? LOL!

I think this morning I need cheering up!

[Aussie]

This is a complete contradiction to my post that I posted yesterday! Here I was practically begging everyone to reassure me that I wasn't going mad and encourage me to have the courage to ask my fiance' (nearly married!)if there are things going on that I suspect!

HOW COULD YOU?

If I found out that you were the one my fiance', husband or whatever has been with..

Don't you think you deserve more? How can you lower yourself to this?

My point is that he has bought you! He has supported you 100% financially, so he can tuck you at the side and have his way with you whenever he wants. How can you live like this?

I'd walk... no, I'd run away, get a job and make a life for yourself!

[Aussie]

P.S. I forgot to mention that he is on a power trip -telling you what's what! How can you deal with this?

You poor thing, your self-esteem and confidence are obviously shot to pieces.

[chuff]

I think this morning i need cheering up!

While you know that you don't have to be in a huff with chuff because I can lift those spirits. What's going on?

[J_9]

Okay folks, we need to be helping Happdays here. Please can we not hijack her thread?

She has enough issues going on as it is without adding ours.

Not to be rude, but just did not want this thread to close because of off topic discussions.

[chuff]

No need to worry folks, Krs and I have stopped the stuff on this thread. A little humor might have helped with such a serious topic.

[J_9]

Then maybe we should keep the humor related to the topic.

Back to the topic at hand...